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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mentally unwell neighbour, is there anything i can do?

15 replies

ChasingRainbowsAllDayLong · 09/07/2023 19:29

It's not an AIBU as such but I would appreciate some advice as to whether there's anything I can do.

We've recently (8 weeks ago) moved into a new property and since then we've become aware of a neighbour who is clearly very mentally unwell.

He shouts and swears to himself pacing up and down the driveway, sits with his legs hanging out of an upstairs window smoking cannabis and scales the flat roof multiple times a day walking back and forth (the flat roof looks directly into our 1st floor flat living room)

I'm not bothered about the cannabis it doesn't affect us I'm just mentioning it to paint the picture as that might explain part of it.

My 4yo daughter has started to notice him pacing on the roof and is asking why he's up there. Her bedroom is next to the living room and she's spooked herself out thinking he will be out there at night time.

FWIW he isn't, he doesn't pay us any attention at all bar asking for cigarettes when I pass him in the street but kids have over active imaginations and wind themselves up.

I'm assuming he is already known to mental health services. Is there anything I can do? It isn't a police job as he isn't bothering anybody but it is quite concerning.

OP posts:
MrsPPP · 12/07/2023 10:10

It might be a police job when he’s scaling the roof.
Also, even if he is known to the mental health services, the more people that phone them about this guy needing help, the more likely they will be to intervene. They probably don’t know that he is hanging from windows and climbing up to the roof. I doubt he’s told them whenever they have dealt with him.

Babsexxx · 12/07/2023 10:13

I’d ring adult SS op he most likely is under the mh team but I’m wondering if they know the severity of the issue? People can be very cruel! It would only take a nasty bunch of kids passing to witness.

Definitely a safeguarding issue.

SleepyRich · 12/07/2023 10:29

From how you describe it it sounds like he's going on the roof just as something he likes to do, as opposed to thinking of jumping/suicidal? If it's just something he does for fun then I doubt there's much that could be done, calling the police would likely just result in a harmful (mentally) interaction, certainly no benefit to him.

If on the other hand you think it looks like he's building up to throw himself off then that's a completely different story.

Random789 · 12/07/2023 10:54

Does his flat roof physically join your property, so that he could in theory try to access through your windows? If it does, I would consider asking him whether he would be prepared to stop going up there (citing your daughter's anxiety).
If it doesn't joint your property, I would be tempted to just leave it alone unless you think he is in danger.
Don't imagine that his slightly unnerving behaviours mean that it wouldn't be possible to talk to him about this as you would with other neighbours. He may or may not be able and willing to take what you say onboard.

DRS1970 · 12/07/2023 11:00

I would call the police non emergency number and ask if they could do a welfare check. I am sure they would given your obvious, and valid, concerns.

Mygazpachoistoocold · 12/07/2023 11:12

The police aren't just there for emergencies, they're also there for community matters too. I would report your concerns online to your local police force. Your neighbourhood officers may already be aware of this person. Officers can then pass on any info necessary to adult social services.

Mygazpachoistoocold · 12/07/2023 11:18

I should add, having had a close family member who had mental health issues, the best thing for us would have been if a neighbour had reported their issues to the police. Neighbours knew there were issues- they were phoning us constantly telling us to sort them out but they wouldn't report it to any official bodies despite my pleas. CAMHS were reluctant to act at first because reports were only coming from myself and another family member. Had the info come from a third party they may have gotten help quicker. I decided to involve the police and it was a key factor in my family member receiving the treatment that they needed.

Random789 · 12/07/2023 11:25

As the OP says, I wouldn't have thought it was a matter for the police - unless the man seems to be in danger of hurting himself (in which case it may be urgently needed).
Interactions between mentally unwell people and the police don't always go very well for the unwell person. Some police try hard to help, but they don't have the time or the training to achieve much. And (particularly if the guy's roof climbing indicates that he is fearfully scanning his environment for danger, as a result of paranoid delusions) a police visit may be very frightening.

Random789 · 12/07/2023 11:27

Sorry, crossposted @Mygazpachoistoocold. My post wasn't a response to yours xx

SilverDrawer · 12/07/2023 11:28

Ring adult social services to report a vulnerable adult

Mrsjayy · 12/07/2023 11:31

MrsPPP · 12/07/2023 10:10

It might be a police job when he’s scaling the roof.
Also, even if he is known to the mental health services, the more people that phone them about this guy needing help, the more likely they will be to intervene. They probably don’t know that he is hanging from windows and climbing up to the roof. I doubt he’s told them whenever they have dealt with him.

This, If he is scaling the roof and generally making a nuisance of himself you might need to call the police, unfortunately they are usually the first step to people getting help.

coronaplease · 12/07/2023 11:33

Just pop a log with the police and they can do a welfare check. They'll alert SS as required. He may already be known to services and things may already be in motion for his care / treatment x

CC4712 · 12/07/2023 11:44

How tall is the block? I'd be worried if he did fall off the roof- he might land on someone below! (Unlikely I know, but its a risk!) A man jumped off a building near us and landed on somones car!

I'd call the non emergency line 101 for advice and also adult social services. Do you know if he is renting in the block/council flat? A ground floor flat seems a safer option- but doubt they would move him.

Abitofalark · 12/07/2023 11:52

Whether he is 'mentally unwell' or just a lone person who talks to himself, smokes cannabis and does some unusual or eccentric things, the fact is that for a small child, any unusual behaviour or appearance can be disturbing and trigger secret unspoken fears.

As far as the flat roof goes, I'd try to get him off that so as to keep him away from the vicinity of your daughter and her bedroom so that his presence doesn't become an anxiety or preoccupation in her mind. Who owns the flat? Is it his or a landlord's? Is it supposed to be walked on? Many are not as they are not safe or it may cause wear and tear that damages the surface finish that keeps it weatherproof. Are there conditions about its use in a lease? If there is a landlord, explain the situation and the effect on your child and and overlooking your living room and ask if it is possible to close off the access to the flat roof except for maintenance or emergency.

ChasingRainbowsAllDayLong · 12/07/2023 13:22

Thank you for the replies

I tried speaking to somebody from adult social care but didn't get anywhere. It didn't help that I was unable to give the most basic of details IE name, age etc.

I've managed to ascertain that he lives in a flat / room in what looks like a HMO property. It's a 3 story house and not a block like ours.

This is the roof he is pacing up and down. Picture taken from my DD's room. It extends alot further to the right but I'm unable to show any more as other people's flats would then be in the shot.

It's not massively high but high enough to break something if he was to lose his balance and fall off.

RE suicidal no I don't think that's his reason for climbing on there. It's not high enough for that. It seems to be part of a routine, bizarrely.

He climbs out of a window onto the roof and then paces back and forth for 10 minutes at a time, several times a day.

I'm just going to make a report to the met via their website, I'm in London and reporting online is often recommended if there's no active emergency.

Mentally unwell neighbour, is there anything i can do?
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