Bedtimes and sleepovers

[Imdonewithsergio]

My son is 9 and has stayed with a friend last night. He has stayed here a couple of times and always ends up awake ridiculously late. Today he has came home in a horrid mood and looks awful. Turns out he hasn’t slept at all. They sat up all night gaming. His friend often stays up til 5-6am on weekends. But they have literally not slept at all last night.

I expect bedtime to pushed aside at sleepovers but not to this extent. A “late” night for my 9 year old is normally 10/10.30pm if we are on holiday or something. I have a few children including a baby so routine is key in my house and I don’t know if I’m maybe being a bit unfair to think this is unreasonable.

AIBU?

Yeah this is ridiculous. I would be so irritated by that snd wouldn't let him go again, unless you feel comfortable speaking to the parents. X

Nobody should be regularly awake gaming until that time, but as a one off for DS I wouldn't be too bothered

YAB unrealistic I think. I doubt very much that he actually had no sleep, but a tired day afterwards is to be expected.

Although if his friend really does game till 5am I wouldn’t be sending my child there.

I do believe her son games all night as I’ve seen notifications on my sons iPad from during the night where this boy has tried to contact him overnight. I’m going to chase my son to bed soon and I think that going forward, he should just visit for a few hours in the evening rather than overnights.

I think that's shocking, fine to stay up a bit but no sleep at all - that's very bad for his health and development and will wipe out the next day so must have a serious impact on how they spend time as a family at weekends. You wouldn't let a child not eat for 24hrs so why let them not sleep...

I wouldn't let DC go to that house overnight again

If you know that this boy stays up all night gaming then I think not sending your son to stay or clarifying a bedtime with the boys parents would have probably been best? It’s so tricky because even when mine have had sleepovers and no tech after 10pm they’ve still sometimes been awake talking at 2am!

After the fact there’s not a lot you can do though!

I expected them to be up late but I just didn’t expect it to be a literal all nighter. I texted the mum this evening who confirmed they were up all night- she thinks it’s fine. I don’t know if I’m just a lot nor strict with bedtimes than others are with children this age as I have more children? So routine is a bit more essential in here. But I will probably just stick to my son visiting for the evening rather than sleepovers.

Ds1 and Ds2 both admit that hardly any sleep gets achieved on a sleepover, for many reasons. Even with parental instruction and orders to get to sleep! But the gaming I'd be most unhappy about and probably wouldn't let him go again because they sound like irresponsible parents, but you already knew this.

Erm tbh we always prepare for a grump day after a sleepover. There having fun its a one off so ye