Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how much inheritance

143 replies

hubgryhorse · 09/07/2023 17:18

You need before you can safely assume you’ll still get a chunk despite potential care home fees? I read all the time on here that you shouldn’t rely on it etc etc and nasty comments are made about how you must be hoping your relatives dies 🤔

I always thought most people had an idea of what they may expect later on, whilst knowing there’s no guarantee for all sorts of reasons!

But with estates of 500k, 1mil, 2mil surely you can expect that not to be totally used on care homes?!

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 09/07/2023 22:17

5128gap · 09/07/2023 21:37

If I was worth in excess of a million and needed care I'd not be scrimping and going for a lower end option so I could leave someone a large inheritance. Care standards are typically appalling so id be throwing as much money at it as I had, to get the highest level of comfort I could buy. I'd be your worst nightmare, living in the lap of luxury, burning through your free money!

Everyone's different. I plan on leaving with nothing. Already giving it away. I"ll be delighted if I die with zero in the bank and it all in my children's pockets.

BonBon10 · 09/07/2023 22:22

My dad went into care, local authority funded it until I was able to get deputyship for his finances via court of protection. It was a long lengthy process and covid, lockdown didn't help. I sold his house last year paid back the local authority 60k that had racked up in care fees at £850.00 a week. He's had to move to a different home, because his care needs have changed, now paying £6.5k a month. Money will run out soon and the local authority will then pay the fees. As much as my dad kept saying you will be OK, I've left you the house, you can never rely on inheritance.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 09/07/2023 22:24

mrsbyers · 09/07/2023 18:04

The system is under reform currently , once completed there will be a cap on how much n individual pays on personal care element of £86k but in a home they would still be expected to contribute towards living expenses until they have less than a set amount - that contribution would not be a high as people pay currently

its been pushed back so many time now, I think it’ll never happen 🤷🏼‍♀️

AllTheChaos · 09/07/2023 22:25

IncompleteSenten · 09/07/2023 17:28

Depends how many years the person needs care and how expensive the home is.

If you're paying £1000 a week for example and you live 10 years then that's 120,000 on fees alone.

So yes if the person has millions then there's likely to be some left but it's best to assume the person will use their money during their life to ensure the best quality of life (and want them to!) instead of banking on a slice when they've gone. It's best to assume you've got to provide for yourself all your life.

That’s £520,000.
£1,000 pw x 52 weeks = £52,000 a year.

I happen to know as DF needed care for a decade before he died. Where he was could cost about £1,500 a week now.

Orchidgal · 09/07/2023 22:27

I don’t mean to derail the thread, but what happens to the elderly person if their savings run out, or care home fees increase and their pension no longer covers it? What would happen to confused 98-year old with no family to take her in?

saraclara · 09/07/2023 22:30

Orchidgal · 09/07/2023 22:27

I don’t mean to derail the thread, but what happens to the elderly person if their savings run out, or care home fees increase and their pension no longer covers it? What would happen to confused 98-year old with no family to take her in?

Their local council takes over the cost.

AllTheChaos · 09/07/2023 22:32

saraclara · 09/07/2023 22:30

Their local council takes over the cost.

Show quote history

Out of interest, do you know if the Council will move them to the cheapest suitable care home, or keep paying for them to stay where they are? A good few years ago one of my mum’s friends had this issue with her 90-something year old mother. I can’t remember what happened now, but I remember it was quite fraught.

shivawn · 09/07/2023 22:33

Not something I could ever imagine giving much thought to. I don't want anything from my parents, I really don't need it and I want them to enjoy their own money. I'm lucky that they're only 20 years older than me anyway so they could even outlive me.

Iforgotmyusernameagainandagain · 09/07/2023 22:33

Sunnydaysarentagiveneveninjuly · 09/07/2023 17:21

The only relative I would have possibly inherited from gave it to her carer instead!!
3275k house and my family's antiques!
Being grabby isn't a quality to be proud of anyway!

Did you do any caring yourself for the relative? Just asking. It may be if you didn't, or didn't keep in touch, that they felt closer to the carer than to you.

My in laws cared for an elderly relative who returned from America for quite a few years. When she died not one of them was mentioned in her will. She left the lot to her daughter who wanted nothing to do with her, and when she came over for a final visit stayed 10 minutes then stood outside until a taxi arrived to take her back to the station.

I'm pretty certain the money didn't bring her happiness, but at least my in laws knew they'd done their best, even if it was without the grace of acknowledgement from the mother or thanks from the daughter.

Theworried2 · 09/07/2023 22:34

Will Labour implement the £86k cap on fees?

IbitebecauseIwantto · 09/07/2023 22:36

Iforgotmyusernameagainandagain · 09/07/2023 22:33

Did you do any caring yourself for the relative? Just asking. It may be if you didn't, or didn't keep in touch, that they felt closer to the carer than to you.

My in laws cared for an elderly relative who returned from America for quite a few years. When she died not one of them was mentioned in her will. She left the lot to her daughter who wanted nothing to do with her, and when she came over for a final visit stayed 10 minutes then stood outside until a taxi arrived to take her back to the station.

I'm pretty certain the money didn't bring her happiness, but at least my in laws knew they'd done their best, even if it was without the grace of acknowledgement from the mother or thanks from the daughter.

Show quote history

Oh, that is just horrible.

IbitebecauseIwantto · 09/07/2023 22:39

ArcticSkewer · 09/07/2023 22:17

Everyone's different. I plan on leaving with nothing. Already giving it away. I"ll be delighted if I die with zero in the bank and it all in my children's pockets.

Show quote history

This.

SpidersAreAmazing · 09/07/2023 22:42

What happens about care home fees of the person needing care owns a house but other people live in it? Would they be forced to move out? Asking because I recently discovered my mother has transferred ownership of her home to her older partner and I’m very worried about where this will leave her in the future! I have no idea why she did it as she owned the house outright but she won’t discuss it with us.

Canrelatetothis · 09/07/2023 22:53

Isn't

saraclara · 09/07/2023 23:13

AllTheChaos · 09/07/2023 22:32

Out of interest, do you know if the Council will move them to the cheapest suitable care home, or keep paying for them to stay where they are? A good few years ago one of my mum’s friends had this issue with her 90-something year old mother. I can’t remember what happened now, but I remember it was quite fraught.

Show quote history

My mum was moved from her nursing home to an extra care flat when her liquid funds ran out. But to be fair to the council, she no longer needed nursing care. She's paralysed, but doesn't actually need nursing. She just needs all her personal care done for her, which the domicilary care team based in the building, do.

Also it's what she wanted..her own space and a bit more independence.

The council thought they'd save money, but actually it's ended up easily as extensive.

meddysam · 09/07/2023 23:30

Why should my neighbours’ children receive an inheritance and mine receive nothing because I unfortunately get an illness?

That's not comparable to better wages for care workers though

And why should my other neighbours’ children get an inheritance because their parent had all their end of life treatment and drugs paid for by the NHS? Why shouldn’t they have had to contribute from their savings.

You want to overhaul the NHS & not make it free at the point of care?

meddysam · 09/07/2023 23:32

It’s the middle earners who pay the vast majority of inheritance tax.

Very few people are impacted by it.

"HMRC data for 2019-20 shows that just 3.76% of all UK deaths resulted in an IHT charge."

JeandeServiette · 09/07/2023 23:44

5128gap · 09/07/2023 21:37

If I was worth in excess of a million and needed care I'd not be scrimping and going for a lower end option so I could leave someone a large inheritance. Care standards are typically appalling so id be throwing as much money at it as I had, to get the highest level of comfort I could buy. I'd be your worst nightmare, living in the lap of luxury, burning through your free money!

Me too.

Nevermind31 · 09/07/2023 23:51

My great aunt had millions, a lot of property, and my mum and her cousins were always the beneficiaries in her will. Well, she spent it all. She had a wonderful life, and that’s what matters. The rest was eaten up by the care home.
so any inheritance is a bonus. Don’t expect anything.

Codlingmoths · 10/07/2023 00:02

The reality is even if you want to stay in your home and can do a bit for yourself, paying for a 2h carer visit daily would be ££ very quickly especially if you couldn’t get subsidies. But I’d want my parents to have a life they enjoy.

HappiDaze · 10/07/2023 00:16

No one in my family has had to go into care so if it'll be anyone it'll probably be me after my 90's shenanigans

HappiDaze · 10/07/2023 00:24

Care home fees are extortionate and go straight to the owners who can afford the life of luxury sending their DC to private school, living in huge homes etc etc they're laughing all the way to the bank.

Meanwhile their staff are paid a pittance and the owners never bother to oversee the care home, their cash cow.

The managers get the brunt of the worst of it keeping it all ticking along.

It's a shit show.

I don't know why they're allowed to carry on like this or why the government allowed this to happen

JeandeServiette · 10/07/2023 00:25

HappiDaze · 10/07/2023 00:24

Care home fees are extortionate and go straight to the owners who can afford the life of luxury sending their DC to private school, living in huge homes etc etc they're laughing all the way to the bank.

Meanwhile their staff are paid a pittance and the owners never bother to oversee the care home, their cash cow.

The managers get the brunt of the worst of it keeping it all ticking along.

It's a shit show.

I don't know why they're allowed to carry on like this or why the government allowed this to happen

It's another one of those Thatcherite privatisations that brought so much good. Not.

HappiDaze · 10/07/2023 00:31

People do live longer but so many of them suffer longer with long term illness and are then denied assisted suicide like Dignitas.

So some then have to endure a painful pointless life lying in bed for 10 years or whatever. Whilst constantly asking to be 'let go' - 'Let me go' so many beg yet are forced to live a life of suffering they do not want and then are forced to spend their whole life savings on living a life they choose not to live.

It's barbaric is what it is

willstarttomorrow · 10/07/2023 00:44

My parent is on a care home, she has dementia and now needs nursing care. At first they were able to stay at home with carers x2 a day, mainly for company and to keep an eye on things after the other parent died (from Parkinsons disease, it was horrible). Then they were able to get an assisted living place which rent/pensions etc covered. Then a residential home- the house was sold and now they are in a nursing home at around £8000 per month. The quality of life is not nice but they are well looked after- this is the cost of 24 hour care and whilst they have assets it needs to be paid for. I find it quite shocking that people expect their inheritance should be protected- care needs to be funded and DP gets the nursing element topped up and pension etc on top. They are in pretty good physical health, this could go on for several more years, although it is a degenerative disease.

Just to put this into context, I work in Child protection and a residential placement for a hard to place young person is £8,000- £10,000 and local authorities are fighting for places. No personal care 24/7, usually no qualified staff outside the home manager and maybe a group home psychologist covering several homes, maybe 'in-house schooling' added on top. Yes usually there are 1-4 young people so the cost of scale etc but there is a hell of a lot of money being made out of vulnerable young people.