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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you re mortgage to take out equity in this situation?

74 replies

historybluw · 09/07/2023 16:28

I should say that I have always been very against taking money from your home. I know it doesn’t make financial sense. However, I really want our one dc to go to private school. It’s going to cost around 100k for primary school. I’d like this money already available so we can spend the next 10 years saving for secondary. The only way we can raise the majority of this is via borrowing from our home. We will then have enough income, or should do, to save for secondary without much issue.

The thing that we have as ‘back up’ is that we should inherit enough to pay off the mortgage eventually anyway, especially as withdrawing this 100k would still leave around 150k equity in the house too. I know you cannot rely on inheritance but in these circumstances I feel inclined to take the chance. DP is happy to go with my decision on this (the home is in my name and legally protected). Would this be utterly mental? Ive been fixated on private education for a long time and prepared to do whatever really to ensure dc can attend, and I don’t know if I’ve lost sight of reality in the process.

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 09/07/2023 17:13

I don't see why you would take the money now and pay more interest. Wouldn't you be better to explore doing this when he goes to secondary if you haven't saved enough? That way you will know what has changed in the mean time and won't have paid such high interest for years.

Seashor · 09/07/2023 17:16

We did and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. It was the best money I’ve ever spent.

Original poster
historybluw · 09/07/2023 17:16

Thanks food for thought! I guess the idea of taking out when rates may be lower is better, so paying primary from income then equity later on. I just don’t want to put dc in and then have to take them out.

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 09/07/2023 17:17

We did exactly that. I really regret it now I'm older I have a massive mortgage whereas all my friends are mortgage free

SayHi · 09/07/2023 17:18

It’s better to put them state and then move them to private, rather than the other way around.

How old is your DC?

Seashor · 09/07/2023 17:19

Didn’t do it for primary but did it for secondary. If I’d needed to have done it for primary too I would have done.

Original poster
historybluw · 09/07/2023 17:19

@SayHi 3

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 09/07/2023 17:19

Private primary is not worth it. And certainly not when you're left with £150k equity. Madness.

LauraNicolaides · 09/07/2023 17:20

prepared to do whatever really to ensure dc can attend

I don't think anyone else can advise you on this we all have our own priorities over what we spend money on. If private education is really important to you and you're aware of the costs of what you're proposing then I'd say go for it.

Original poster
historybluw · 09/07/2023 17:20

@Seashor thanks, we are so keen to try and make it work!

OP posts:
Original poster
historybluw · 09/07/2023 17:20

@Willyoujustbequiet what equity would be ‘ok’ to be left with?

OP posts:
Tiredalwaystired · 09/07/2023 17:21

Please don’t rely on inheritance. My Nan lived in her care home for fifteen years before she died. She was pretty wealthy before that but there really wasn’t much left after her care was paid for.

Willyoujustbequiet · 09/07/2023 17:22

I personally don't feel primary is worth it for any money.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 09/07/2023 17:22

Is a risky strategy, if one of you falls ill or your circumstances change will you have the money to meet the repayments.

LizzieSiddal · 09/07/2023 17:23

You’d be mad to do this. You say you’re “fixated” on private school.

May be an idea to ask why you’re fixated and if you really need to be.

LegendsBeyond · 09/07/2023 17:25

Wow, I’d never do this. Basically you can’t afford private school. How will you afford all the extras-trips, clubs, equipment etc? How will you feel if you do this and your DC still ends up with what you perceive as a crap job?

Gh12345 · 09/07/2023 17:26

I’m sorry but I would still consider this getting in debt to fund it. It’s a really bad idea considering the way things are right now. Find a lovely primary school with outstanding ofsted report and invest more money into helping them as an adult instead of a private school.

froidIci · 09/07/2023 17:27

It’s amazing that the OP is ignoring the repeated substantial advice ie don’t do it for various legitimate reasons -and still fixated on “but how do I do it?”

WhimHoff · 09/07/2023 17:29

If you don’t have the cash to put one child through private primary, you don’t have the money to increase your mortgage.

bonzaitree · 09/07/2023 17:30

I would send them to state primary then pay for private secondary in cash.

ZairWazAnOldLady · 09/07/2023 17:41

£100,000 added onto your mortgage will add to your monthly payments. Is that increase less than the fees?

NowItsLikeSnowAtTheBeach · 09/07/2023 17:44

You can't afford private school.

Care home fees and carer bills down the line could easily eat up any hoped for inheritance. It's shocking how fast it goes.

dottiedodah · 09/07/2023 17:45

I didnt think equity release was readily available unless you were 55 plus? I think anyway, you would be better off maybe looking at state primary schools in the area? COL has risen immensely in recent years ,its not likely to come down anytime soon and its a big risk to take on

SayHi · 09/07/2023 17:49

Are you hoping to send them to boarding school?
Are you struggling with them?

I’m wonder why you’ve now all of a sudden decided to send them to private school even though you don’t have the money and multiple posters have said not to remortgage your property and they primary is a waste of money.

What are the reasons you want your DC to go there?
And are these reasons really worth remortgaging your home over?

StellaF · 09/07/2023 17:49

And don’t “bank” on an inheritance, anything can happen. I’m currently enjoying some schadenfreude watching my 71 year old brother grind his teeth having to sell his 98 year old mother in laws £500k home to fund her care fees. Him and his awful wife have treated her like shit for 50 years and thought they had nothing better to do than sit and wait till they got their hands on her money.