Possessions, yay or nay?

[PlumPudd]

DP and I recently had a conversation about stuff, how we have too much of it and seem to be always heading to the dump or waiting for bin day so we can throw away more crap we’ve realised we don’t need.

We asked ourselves this hypothetical question. If you could go round your house and fill two suitcases each with precious things, photos, diaries, sentimental jewellery, favourite dress etc. and then all the rest of your things caught fire and you got an insurance payment - would you feel a bit relieved to be shot of all the stuff?

We both said yes, it’d be a pain to have to shop for truly essential things like saucepans and shoes, but equally it would be so freeing to start from scratch with your treasured mementoes and just buy fewer things that you really need and like going forward.

Thoughts???

We actually don’t have much stuff, both fairly un-materialistic and would rather go to the theatre or have a nice meal or a walk in the countryside than buy more things. But it always feels like there is a slightly broken lamp we bought because it was on sale, or duplicate toys, or a sandwich toaster that we need to get rid of and agreed that it would be quite cleansing for it all just to disappear.

Two suitcases each is quite a lot of stuff for just personal effects. When DH and I moved abroad, we took one case each and were surprised at what we could get in there. The rest of our stuff was sold or dumped.

It was sort of freeing in a way but it was also quite a sad and difficult process to get rid of things like university notes and old Christmas cards, and once we arrived in the new country we had to go shopping for all the "functional" stuff like kitchenware, bedding, furniture and electricals that we obviously didn't pack but which forms a lot of the "stuff" in any home.

When we came back from abroad we had to buy it all again as it was cheaper than shipping what we now had. So overall a very wasteful process.

I wouldn't do it again because I realised most of what we had was stuff that was needed rather than gratuitous personal stuff.

Also stop and consider what you're saying. You hate shopping for stuff but you want to throw out perfectly good stuff so you can go shopping for brand new stuff and spend money on it instead of spending that time and money going on walks or similar.
Decluttering would be a much more logical conclusion.

I hear ya OP! In the midst of decluttering here and it’s so hard but so necessary

When me and my husband moved in together we each had our own house, which meant two of everything. Add to that my husband loves stuff and buying a bargain, I wouldn't call him a hoarder but I often wonder where it would end if I wasn't here. I feel like we have been decluttering for the past 7 years. We are about to have our second child and therefore loose our junk room and I have 5 huge boxes of stuff to go. Some of it is children's clothes, which I won't use for our second (different sex and season) but still so much junk. Sometimes I feel like how can I have anything more to go. I would love to pack a couple of suitcases each and start again sometimes. Or maybe 2 for us and 2 for kitchen/ household stuff.

I read somewhere that you spend the first half of your life accumulating stuff and the second half getting rid of it. It rings true even if not literally.

We have a lot of stuff accumulated and I don’t have much attachment to a lot of it. Having said that if I had to downsize and lose half of everything it might be quite difficult.

Yes. Tried to start decluttering yesterday but then spent all day feeling anxious about what to throw away. The bags of clothing in the loft I could not even remember what was up there but now they have been brought down I am struggling to throw away. I hate clutter everywhere but struggle to get rid of stuff.

I don’t like ‘stuff’ and don’t really have it in my house. I could save all my sentimental items in a normal sized backpack and likely have room left over. Maybe pick 1 thing each per day to let go of and see if it makes a difference

I'm not sure I get how you can not have loads of stuff or not think it's a priority over experiences but then feel you're living with loads of it. I'm also not sure why you'd want rid of everything if you hate shopping so much?

I'd absolutely hate to lose my possessions. But then I don't keep stuff I don't like, need or use in general. I lived in small flats for years so I'm fairly brutal about unwanted stuff. But I love colourful decor, kind of dopamine decor which is having a moment on Instagram has been my thing for years. So my home may look a lot but it's chosen fun stuff. Not crap I don't like or use. I think that's the big difference in how you feel about possessions they are overwhelming when they're not purposeful.

It's interesting to see what you would grab
Someone threw a firework in my house and I had to get out before it exploded
I grabbed the cat and my car keys.That was it (was wearing the rings I would have also taken)

No, I wouldn't want this at all- I really like all my possessions and have lots of things that I wouldn't be able to fit into a suitcase but would be gutted to lose, from oil paintings to favourite pans and wooden spoons. I am quite a ruthless declutterer though so don't have heaps of stuff.

I have quite of stuff, but I'm not really a 'sentimental items' kind of person. I very rarely get emotionally attached to possessions. I'd be upset by the waste and inconvenience of losing my stuff rather than broken-hearted at the loss of beloved items. I'm more than happy to get rid of stuff that is of neither practical nor aesthetic use though, and ditch things without a pang.

I moved from a large four bedroom house with double garage, to a tiny one bed cottage. I donated loads to charity, and then just got to the point where I couldn't do any more, and paid for house clearance people to come in and take away loads of stuff.

It was honestly so liberating. Even now, I still declutter every year, and have a very minimalist lifestyle. It's so much better for my MH.

Capitalism needs us to all be obedient consumers, but I prefer to rebel.

I am a minimalist. DH is not. However when we moved overseas and consequently back we did it with minimal stuff. A suitcase each.
Lots of our stuff was purchased second hand and donated back and then again when we moved on.
I live in what I think is a lovely cosy home mostly purchased second hand, vintage, charity or auctions.
Not into possessions or sentimental so it is easy for me.

My husband and I had that discussion recently. If our house was on fire, the only things I'd save would be framed family photos (not all photos are on computer/mobile). I couldn't care less about anything else, really.

We’re downsizing and it’s a pleasure to be getting rid of stuff. The few things we truly love are the same things we’ve loved for 35 years.

My mum was ruthless and there was no unnecessary clutter. But then growing up in the 60s and 70s there were no video players, CD players, dvd players, Xboxes etc, so no need to find somewhere to store the media and a lot of other stuff we take for granted now.

Looking round my living room now I can see quite a few objects that add to the general feeling of untidiness that just didn't exist when I was growing up - charging cables for mobile phones, a different cable for an iPad, my Switch is sitting under the coffee table charging, the Google pod thing is on the coffee table, as is hubby's Xbox controller, along with remote controls for the TV, the dvd and the sound bar.

The in-laws however, were hoarders and clearing out their house when the last one passed away, still within COVID restrictions and tips and charity shops not being open, was a nightmare. But it did give DH a reality check as he is a hoarder too.

We did a lot of clearing out of our stuff once we could, and it is liberating. And also, being a bit anal, having a bit more space in the storage cupboards allowed me to I buy a lot of see through stackable boxes with lids and some sticky labels, and now when I want something I can either see which box it's in, or I can narrow it down based on what the label says.

I really don't like 'stuff'. I hate clutter for starters and then I find that many of the things I do have go neglected and unused because I just don't see them or even think about them.

I'm not a jewellery person, I don't use a great deal of cosmetics and the ones I do use are tried-and-tested old favourites so I don't have five different mascaras and six used-once eyeshadow pallettes. Same with bags, one black, one brown, one white and a beach bag. Replaced as needed.

The only things I'm really sentimental about are a letter to my late dad from Bill Shankly (which I really should donate to the museum so others can enjoy it) and Norman, my cuddly monkey. The thought of those two things going up in flames makes me want to cry.