People always commenting on DDs looks

[Definitelyno]

To start we live in a rural town, other than tourists all the locals know each other and talk to each other. DD1, 19, is home from uni, she is very smart, very good at her chosen sport and she is beautiful. Since she came back almost everyone we have spoke to has commented on how beautiful she is, how she should model, how any boy would be lucky to have her. We tell them about uni, sports etc. and it swings back to her looks. DD2 is 16 and really just a beautiful, DD1 is a fair bit taller and blonde, but they have equally "pretty" faces etc. DD2 is also very smart, wants to be a doctor. People will commend her intelligence and talents more than looks.
Today was my nephews 21st, went to his party, overheard countless guys talking about DD1s looks. In the car home DD2 started crying asking why everyone tells DD1 how she's so pretty but no one does her. DD1 tried to comfort her saying she wished people would care more about other parts of her. Parked the car to get into the house and we ran into some neighbours who did it again saying to DD1 how pretty she has gotten!!
AIBU to be really pissed off with people only seeing her looks? It is driving me mad and upsetting both DDs!! How would you stop this?

Ignore it! What else can you do!!

I have the same problem being so beautiful myself, I just take it as a compliment.

My daughter gets this a lot too. People comment on her looks because that’s what they see. There’s no neon sign above her head telling everyone how talented and clever she is so they comment on what they see. It would be nice to be able to punch people in the face when they say it but we can’t legally do that so she just says thank you and walks away. I don’t think there is a lot you can do other than telling everyone to bugger off when they say it or just making them feel bad until the stop.

With your other daughter you should tell her she is only 16 and people are commenting as they have not seen your older daughter for a while and she may have changed since going to uni. Whereas maybe they have seen your younger one a bit more often. Also bit weird for 22 year old boys to be commenting on a sixteen year old looks now a days. The older one is in the right age range. Pretty sure your younger one is likely to be better looking than average too. The thing is horrible how people always seem to pigeon hole daughters this one is the pretty one and this one is the academic one to two girls. Likely story is they are both attractive and talented!!!! Your younger one will realise this when she goes off to university. Don’t let your dd1 feel bad or guilty about the attention she is getting. She should be able to enjoy the compliments.

The comments on how she should model are a bit crass! As if all good looking girls should model. Doubt it’s said to boys who are good looking.

You can explain to the younger one that people will not want to say these things to her due to her young age, that it was the done thing in the past but now people are more cautious with younger girls. Whereas her older sister is an adult.

As for what you do, you can say to people you find it rude they focus on appearance, that will hopefully make half of them stop. The other way is completely ignore comments about looks.

I think to explain it to DD2 you could say that most people wouldn’t comment on a 16 year old’s looks. Remind her that this didn’t happen when DD1 was the same age.

You can’t really do anything about what other people say though.

I think a lot of people would feel a bit weird/creepy commenting on a 16 year olds looks but an adult is viewed differently.

It's just one of those burdens some of us are forced to share.

Once the sun is out and people can properly appreciate my luxuriant back and shoulder hair and hobbit feet I get so many admiring looks.

I like to accessorise my outfit with a can of lager to add a more casual element to formal cargo shorts, sandals and vest

You can't really do anything about other people.

It's been said to my 18 year old grandson if that helps. Tall, slim but sporty so he isn't skinny, good looking. He finds it funny but did consider an offer from local company until he realised he'd have to miss football. Football always comes first.

Is this irony? Hard to tell online.

@ChadCMulligan
Have you thought about a career in modelling?

I guess the main thing is your daughters seem intelligent enough to realise that there's a problem with society

I don’t think it’s a societal problem to compliment attractiveness. As a pp said she’s not got a neon sign above her head talking about her skills. You can be pretty and accomplished, they are not mutual exclusive.

beauty is always revered by humans, in all cultures. It does not mean skills are not, they are. It is just they are not visible/

Exactly - sounds like the OP knows more than normal shallow people.

I was asked to do a campaign for the EDL, showing off the latest in summer wear with a flag motif.

I don't know why people get a bit weird on these threads. Some people are objectively beautiful and it's like some people think the OP is boasting if she acknowledges that her dd is one of them!
It's not boastful to say it - it's just pot luck, not down to skill or being a better person!

I think it's the blond hair - I think we are conditioned to see it as beautiful, even though it is no more or less beautiful than any other colour hair. I guess because it's more unusual in Britain than being brunette? Or the adage of blondes having more fun? Idk why really, because my preference has always been brunette!

Tell your younger dd that people won't comment on her look's because she's still a teen and it's now seen as inappropriate.

Maybe have a word with family and explain that it's making both girls uncomfortable and could they not comment on appearance. You can't do much about strangers though. They mean well, so don't get annoyed.