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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is way too early

42 replies

RoloThough · 08/07/2023 20:22

Suggesting a catch up and a coffee with someone not in your immediate family at 7:30am on a Sunday morning. If they can’t go for whatever reason you are unwilling to meet them at any other time of day. A social plan before at least 9am on Sunday is a bit antisocial on purpose, isn’t it? Irrespective of early risers, working patterns, kids/no kids!

OP posts:
VisionsOfSplendour · 08/07/2023 21:58

Meh, wouldn't bother me.if I wanted to meet up with someone but people get up at different times so no one size fits all answer

Id it doesn't work for you why not ask if you can meet later on the day?

YourNameGoesHere · 08/07/2023 21:58

I live in a huge city and there isn't one coffee shop open at that time in the morning on a Sunday.

I would presume if you did meet they would want to rush the coffee and it wouldn't actually be a very long social situation given they can't possibly meet at any other time during the day.

HippeePrincess · 08/07/2023 21:58

10am is verging on too early for me, 7.30 I don’t even want to be awake!

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 08/07/2023 22:00

bibbityboppityboo · 08/07/2023 20:33

I meet friends at that time all of the time tbh! It's a normal time on a Sunday for us, we do big walks and grab coffees.

If they've got a super busy day and are early risers it's not an unreasonable time, if it doesn't work for you it doesn't that's not unreasonable either 😊

Ha ha you could be my neighbour?!

I’m meeting my friend / neighbour tomorrow morning at 7am and we take our dogs for a long walk and have a gossip, grabbing a takeaway coffee at a place that opens at 8am. I’m up at 6.30am every day during the week and my body clock stays at this time so I don’t lay in at weekends. This works perfectly for us, we’re home 8.30am-ish just as our families are getting up. We get some friends time and family time too, it works perfectly.

Catusrusty · 08/07/2023 22:00

I will be up at 5.35 am tomorrow because my stupid body clock cannot or will not adjust for a lie in. Very occasionally I will fall back to sleep and feel awful on waking, it's not worth it really.

So that would be fine for me, but I cannot imagine it suiting lots of people.

Original poster
RoloThough · 09/07/2023 08:58

It’s my sister and the only time she says she has available, after I ask her when she’s free. If I can’t make it she is upset and says I clearly don’t care about her and never make any effort to see her

OP posts:
Kingsparkle · 09/07/2023 09:01

That almost feels like she is testing you OP. I would find that difficult to deal with.

I am up at 6am most weekends due to a toddler but I think 7.30 on a Sunday is an odd time to meet for a coffee and chat.

YourNameGoesHere · 09/07/2023 09:04

RoloThough · 09/07/2023 08:58

It’s my sister and the only time she says she has available, after I ask her when she’s free. If I can’t make it she is upset and says I clearly don’t care about her and never make any effort to see her

Turn it back on her. If she cared about seeing you why is 7.30am on a Sunday the only time she can make time for you?

7.30am on a Sunday morning is the time you give to people who mean little to you because you know it's very unlikely they will agree to meet at such a stupidly early hour.

misskatamari · 09/07/2023 09:09

Yanbu and the guilt trip from her is really off and manipulative. You could equally counter that she isn’t prioritising seeing you if the one and only time she is available is 7.30am on a Sunday, when I imagine you have many more available “time slots” where you would happily see her. Does she have form for this type of bullshit? It’s fine for her to have this time free, and be busy at other times. But in that situation it’s an “oh well, that’s a shame, we’ll do it at x time in the future” not “let’s lay on the guilt, you’re wrong and bad and mean to me” childish attitude

Original poster
RoloThough · 09/07/2023 09:22

misskatamari · 09/07/2023 09:09

Yanbu and the guilt trip from her is really off and manipulative. You could equally counter that she isn’t prioritising seeing you if the one and only time she is available is 7.30am on a Sunday, when I imagine you have many more available “time slots” where you would happily see her. Does she have form for this type of bullshit? It’s fine for her to have this time free, and be busy at other times. But in that situation it’s an “oh well, that’s a shame, we’ll do it at x time in the future” not “let’s lay on the guilt, you’re wrong and bad and mean to me” childish attitude

Yep has form for it. She claims she wants a close relationship, yet never reaches out to me. When I reach out to her and she gives me a tiny window of opportunity as above (which I often can’t make) she closes the door and says she deserves better. I can only imagine she is maybe insecure at the moment and needs that validation. I can’t walk away as DN is in the picture and currently too young to understand but hopefully I will have children in the near future and I hate the idea that they don’t know their cousins, as for my DC and DN it’s the only set of cousins theyll both have and growing up I was close to mine.

OP posts:
Original poster
RoloThough · 09/07/2023 09:33

YourNameGoesHere · 09/07/2023 09:04

Turn it back on her. If she cared about seeing you why is 7.30am on a Sunday the only time she can make time for you?

7.30am on a Sunday morning is the time you give to people who mean little to you because you know it's very unlikely they will agree to meet at such a stupidly early hour.

Show quote history

I think for her it’s more of a test as to whether I will meet her or not as she feels better/ important if I am willing to rearrange my day to suit her?

OP posts:
blahblahblah1654 · 09/07/2023 09:36

7:30 is ridiculous. I wouldn't dream of making plans before 10am. Really weird and antisocial.

pimplebum · 09/07/2023 09:40

I'd be flattered he sees you as a go getter who is up jogging on a Sunday at 7:30 and wants to chat over his oat maciato

Or he wants to murder you while everyone else sleeps off hangovers

Kingsparkle · 09/07/2023 09:41

@pimplebum - it’s her sister Confused

Caravanvirgin · 09/07/2023 09:45

I know some people who like to get up early before their kids and go for a walk. One brings sausage sandwhiches and other brings coffee. It works for them.

I think suggesting a catch up then is fine as long as they are willing to meet other days/times if the other person can’t/won’t do then.

baconcrisp · 09/07/2023 09:51

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baconcrisp · 09/07/2023 09:53

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