Planning isn’t my forte, never has been. Change stresses me out generally and I do procrastinate most things, even tasks I want to do (awaiting ADHD and autism assessment). I think back on childhood, teenager-hood and think I was alright then but then again there was always an adult doing the organising and planning for me. As an adult I struggle to prioritise and can often find myself slow to switch tasks and get back to what I was doing if there was a distraction.
It’s reached a point today where I am wedding planning - except I haven’t, really, I’ve just bandied ideas about. My mum is trying to get me to identify a date where I am available to go try on some wedding dresses but I just haven’t committed to a date yet. I need to find and order invitations and ask people for their addresses, but I haven’t yet. The wedding is soon and I think my mum doesn’t want me to be disappointed. I have got a few close friends but I would never dare ask them for help because it just looks incompetent doesn’t it! I should be able to do these basic things, I’m looking forward to marrying DP and even he is urging me to book things and get decorations sorted etc. I’m a very last minute kind of person then I get a burst of energy. Even when packing for holidays I put it off until usually the night before when I should already be in bed
Is anyone else like this? As right now I feel like everyone around me ‘adults’ much better than I do, unless they can just pretend better. We don’t have kids yet and I’m worried I’ll be slack on remembering to plan stuff for them, parties etc. I have other strengths like attention to detail and when I focus on a task or plan I do very well, but I just struggle to get started and beginning to realise just how disabling this character trait is! I also feel bad on poor DM who isn’t much of a planner herself but is trying to do some of it for me. She is excited which is also another reason why she is so on board, but I can’t help thinking she must be judging me so heavily and feeling bad she didn’t equip me to be more decisive and organised (not that it’s her fault!)