To wonder how my new job expects me to travel

[Amimeann]

I recently got a job local to me, working 5 days a week.
I have a small child who can go to nursery the earliest 7.30 in the morning.

I’m due to start work monday and have been told yesterday there is a team meeting that they have quarterly on tuesday 4 hours away at 9 in the morning. I really really want the job and to do well but i’m bot sure how to make it work as a single parent who doesnt drive. I was told about these meetings previously but i didnt think it would be on my second day without much notice

Unless they’re total arseholes it will be OK to say you can’t make it.

The meetings won’t have been planned with you in mind, and it’s not their job to think through your domestic logistics. That’s both fine, as long as they’re also fine that you need more notice.

I was told about these meetings previously but i didnt think it would be on my second day without much notice

What plan did you have in place for the meetings? I know it's short notice, but you must have thought about how you would manage them.

I wasn’t told they would be 4 hours away. Completely understand my going would be just to see how things work, and good to meet other people.

If i had notice I could ask a family member to watch overnight then drop to nursery.

So you were just told there was a quarterly meeting, not that it was in a different office?

Say you had planned to for help to attend these meetings but would always need a little notice, on this occasion unfortunately there isn't enough notice so you're not able to make it. Can you dial in?

Sounds chaotic and disorganised to expect someone to suddenly travel 2 days until a job with no warning

Yeah they said they have meetings to discuss business not that its in different offices every time. I don’t mind travelling usually but I cant swing this this time and i dont want it to reflect badly on me

Are they always at this office 4 hours away? I'm not really sure a 5am start for (presumably) a standard office hours day is OK ever, but for this first meeting, I agree, tell them you don't have time to arrange anything for DC but will attend the next one.

We have these, anyone who lives more than 2 hours away can stay over. I would however need more than 2 days notice.OP it's fine to say you can't do it at such short notice but make sure you have a plan for the next one.

Simply say that due to the short notice you can’t arrange childcare in time to attend the meeting, but you’ll be able to do so for future meetings with sufficient notice.

If they have a problem with that, that’s a massive red flag IMO

Can you teams or zoom in? If your brand new in post you might not be able to contribute much anyway. I imagine no one's thought it through. Chat to your boss or HR.

I think you'll have to explain and ask if you can join via zoom or something.

I would say, due to childcare, you need a week’s notice for this kind of thing so can’t go this time but see no reason why it would be a problem in the future with enough notice.

I would also ask what the arrangements are going forward. For example are they expecting you to have an 8 hour drive and a full day meeting?. If so that could be up to a 16 hour day!

I'd say that you need more notice to arrange childcare but are happy to join remotely this quarter.

Then speak to your line manager about the meeting arrangements for future ones so you can put things in place

I don't think it will reflect badly on you if it's the second day, honestly don't worry about it. Just ask for a forward plan of when they are so you can make arrangements.

(Also by the way I also don't think it would reflect badly on you if you could never make it)

I think it’s fine to say you haven’t had enough notice of this to arrange childcare- then ask for future dates. I think you should also try and work out whether there’s an option for you to join on Zoom or Teams as 8 hour driving (with a 4.30am start) is quite impractical. What do other team members do?

And if you don’t drive how will you get there in future? A train journey will most like y take longer if these offices are a 4 hour drive away.

Ask if you can join virtually?

Do you have a partner or the other parent around?

To be honest I'd set expectations early. Explain on Monday that you need to be able to arrange childcare for meetings outside of usual working patterns and you look forward to attending the next one.

You won't add much value to this meeting on your second day but it obviously could have been useful induction for you. However that's on them for not providing reasonable notice. Don't be too apologetic, be confident.

see I'm not sure about mentioning childcare. I'd call it "family commitments" and explain no more, and also ask if they pay for people to stay overnight typically, since no one explained previously that it would be 4 hours travel away.

How long does the meeting last? 8 hours travel in one day + a long meeting is way horrible sounding.

How are they expecting you to get there? Are they paying for travel, time for travel? I’d expect overnight hotel accommodation if the meeting is 4 hours away! it’s totally unreasonable to expect someone to do an 8 hour round trip for work in one day.

Totally reasonable to expect notice well in advance of meetings that far away whether you need to arrange childcare or not. People have other commitments outside of working hours that this would impact - animals, elderly parents etc. This would not reflect badly on you at all. Just tell them first thing on Monday you will have to join remotely for this one as you needed more notice. You don’t need to be apologetic.

Who told you and why didn’t you say something then?

Most workplaces have moved these sorts of meetings to teams. An 8 hr round trip for a meeting is rediculous.

As @MrsClusterduck says that's completely unrealistic for most people.

It's absolutely ridiculous to expect people to travel 8 hours for a meeting, especially when there's tech to do it virtually now.