My family get on my nerves each weekend

[Bakeoffmum]

Probably going to sound d like a right cow but anyway here goes.

I'm a married mum of two and I've noticed a slow creep, I didn't used to be this way but every weekend my family are just annoying me.

Husbands job is very full on (whole other thread) but he brings it home with him. I've been very understanding for years and took on the lions share of well everything else. But at the weekend (if he's not working), he's moaning about work, tired from work, in pain from work, taking work calls, texting about work, planning for work.

Dh and I have always had very different ideas of what a clean and tidy house looks like, again, too long to get into but he thinks he's a saint because he's loaded up the dishwasher meanwhile completely ignoring everything else around him.

Feels like he's just aimlessly loafing about the house feeling sorry for himself. If I mention it he will start reeling off all the things he's done like made a cup of tea.

Teenage son hides in his bedroom all day only popping out to ask "what's to eat" or to get a lift to football.

I'm like the flipping family planner and if I don't organise and motivate everyone then fuck all gets done and quite frankly I'm sick and tired of it. I'm tired of being everyone else's chief cook, cleaner, calendar, meal planner, reminding them to wipe their own arses.

I can't just go off and leave them all to it because I'll come back to a worse situation than I left it and I don't think anyone would notice I'd even gone until they ran out of clean pants or food, and they still probably wouldn't notice.

If you DS is still a young teenager, you can start to introduce new routines - eg Saturday morning everyone does an hour of cleaning/chores before they go out. Everyone to do their own washing, you can show DS how to work the machine, or you could say you will continue to do his but he needs to make it easy for you, by bringing his washing down to the machine, and putting it away himself . If he needs ironing lessons, you can give them. Personally I stopped ironing for the DC when I found ironed shirts on the floor. Do this not as a punishment but in a "you are an independent young person now and I have my own things I need to do" way.
DH can deal with his own laundry.
Arrange some fun things to do for yourself. Discussing all this will get you nowhere, just ask if anyone wants to come , and if they don't respond, do it yourself. In particular, book things for the weekend so that you are not stuck in doing housework - exercise classes, yoga, cinema , lunch ,whatever you fancy.
Miserable moany husbands tend to get worse with age, so have a good think about what you want to do.