Hold to account

[Katie990]

Husband caught cheating in work with married woman. Emails state about meeting in work - in a converted office and meeting in cars in the front lawn car park for sex etc. This all in a place of work where children are ie teaching. So far I have done nothing with this info and I have the emails and messages etc about surfaces needing washed after their trysts in work.
The more I think about it thought this was during the working day when they were in charge of children and at the beginning I just brushed my feelings off as scorned wife but the more I think about, the more wrong it is.
YABU for no -
leave well alone.
YANBU for yes - you should inform superiors.
We are getting divorced by the way!

I would in this circumstance. Their employers should know they're wasting company time and money not doing their jobs when they're being paid. I'd feel the same if they'd skipped out of work to spend three hours down the pub or at the library reading sci-fi. It would be gross misconduct in most jobs.

How did you get/see these emails?

We shared a laptop - had open access to both ironically. I think he thought they were all deleted.

Yes I would inform! What are you saving his ass for he didn't care about you while cheating (sorry harsh reality)

It'd be gross misconduct so a sackable offence.

Will him being out of work impact the divorce settlement? Do you have children who'd be impacted by him losing his job?

I don't understand. Has he been caught by his boss?

Normally I would be all for him suffering, but if he is unemployed then he won't be able to pay child maintenance. If that is not an issue, then report on!

No / caught by me / the emails were saved on a shared laptop.

If you have children he needs to support financially, you need to think very carefully about reporting him. Letting him know you know about his gross misconduct could be excellent leverage, however.

He knows I know. They are both professional liars so the emails mean that we just kissed although even that is not acceptable. But yes, I know what you mean.

Has he pleaded not to tell anyone hashe been remorseful and said sorry or has he tried to justify his actions

No to all of the above. He blamed it all
on me. But I don’t want to get into those specifics - it was more should I do anything here or simply pretend I never knew this happened.

I've voted for the leave well alone choice although I don't think YABU whatever you decide to do.

Get the divorce done first, including as much evidence of 'at-school adulterous acts' as possible.

Bide a little time, then strike with everything you've got.

Well no you can't pretend like nothing's happened he's blew it stuff like this leaves scars deep scars I feel for you I really do and don't think for one second it's your fault I don't know that the specifics are and I don't care to know either only a coward would blame the other person for there selfish actions he sounds narcissistic cheating should never be an option leaving a relationship is just as easy as putting your d*ck in someone else I hope you find clarity xoxo

They would be both get sacked!
If you have children together I wouldn’t, for their financial security and future (rumours, even when true, spread and don’t disappear for years)
If no children, take him for everything he has got! He’s an arsehole and you are far better off without him!

Do you have children that he needs to provide for?

I'd be using that as leverage in a divorce settlement.

I think this is just pettiness. He hurt you, so you want to hurt him.

Let it run its course. They'll probably get caught without your intervention.