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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate my body this much

6 replies

winterbaby777 · 07/07/2023 22:21

I'm in therapy for a binge eating disorder. I I'm 26 and I absolutely hate myself. I hate my weight and I hate the way I look. Suffered DV last year and have recently contacted him again because I'm so full of self hatred what does it matter.

I've cried and cried and cried this evening at my fat disgusting stomach. All I want is a children, but to do that I'll need to be loved. I'm so undeserving of love because I'm fucking disgusting.

I can't stand the sight of my naked body in front of a mirror. Is it normal to feel this way. I've been crying for hours

OP posts:
Ohalpro · 07/07/2023 22:35

Didn’t want to read and run. I don’t know if this is helpful but here goes:

i am 44 now but from the ages of 13 to 25 I had anorexia and bulimia. I have some insight into how you feel right now and it is awful. You have my deepest sympathies. No, it is not normal to hate your body like this and you do not have to feel this way. You can live a different life.

But to do that you have to forgive yourself. Forgive your body. Forgive yourself for whatever it is that you are trying to blot out by bingeing. Your body is not disgusting, it is something that is helping you to live and you can be kind to it. And the kinder you are to your body the more your brain (which is also part of your body!) will feel comforted and nourished and able to make good decisions.

congratulations for leaving a DV situation. Don’t go back. Imagine yourself at my age - 44 - with nearly 20 years of not hating yourself behind you. Imagine what your life will be like knowing there is someone who values you and cares for you everyday. That person can be you. You can be happy. I know it seems impossible but it’s really, really true. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks or does. You have the power to make that change.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is, how hard you have to work to get through each day. You are so strong. You can have a better life.

Original poster
winterbaby777 · 07/07/2023 22:38

Ohalpro · 07/07/2023 22:35

Didn’t want to read and run. I don’t know if this is helpful but here goes:

i am 44 now but from the ages of 13 to 25 I had anorexia and bulimia. I have some insight into how you feel right now and it is awful. You have my deepest sympathies. No, it is not normal to hate your body like this and you do not have to feel this way. You can live a different life.

But to do that you have to forgive yourself. Forgive your body. Forgive yourself for whatever it is that you are trying to blot out by bingeing. Your body is not disgusting, it is something that is helping you to live and you can be kind to it. And the kinder you are to your body the more your brain (which is also part of your body!) will feel comforted and nourished and able to make good decisions.

congratulations for leaving a DV situation. Don’t go back. Imagine yourself at my age - 44 - with nearly 20 years of not hating yourself behind you. Imagine what your life will be like knowing there is someone who values you and cares for you everyday. That person can be you. You can be happy. I know it seems impossible but it’s really, really true. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks or does. You have the power to make that change.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is, how hard you have to work to get through each day. You are so strong. You can have a better life.

I am crying so much reading this. Thank you thank you thank you. I just need to know that it gets better and that I can change my way of thinking

OP posts:
Ohalpro · 07/07/2023 22:53

❤️

Coffeeisnecessary · 07/07/2023 23:01

Please value and love yourself, your body is not disgusting, it's simply a vehicle for your soul/personality. Try to think in your head how you would talk to a friend, very difficult I know. Sending love to you.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/07/2023 23:03

I'm so undeserving of love because I'm fucking disgusting.

I'm sorry.

Please know that you deserve love. You are beautiful & not disgusting.

One step at a time. 💐

SiblingFights · 07/07/2023 23:04

"I've cried and cried and cried this evening at my fat disgusting stomach. All I want is a children, but to do that I'll need to be loved. I'm so undeserving of love because I'm fucking disgusting."

OP neither you nor your stomach are disgusting. I've been overweight/obese all my adult life and have had loving relationships and children so please don't think that nobody will love you and that you won't be able to have children Flowers

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