Nicknames

[KatieWhitstable]

I have a brother called Mike. When my niece was younger she called him ‘cool-cool’ because she couldn’t say ‘Uncle-Michael’ properly and ended up just saying the last syllables.

Mike thought it was cute and it just sort of stuck within the family.

8 years on, the nickname is still around. I have my own daughter now. When Michael comes to visit, or writes in cards or on presents, he calls himself ‘cool-cool’.

My partner has a really serious issue with this, and has just been on the phone to me for 18 minutes to explain how it’s not right that we are ‘Coercing’ our daughter to call him a nickname that has nothing to do with her. He wants us to teach her to call him ‘Uncle Michael’ because it is important that she understands the hierarchy of the family and show proper respect.

AIBU in thinking that this is such a non-issue and really trivial? I am sure that any silly nickname she ends up using, she will even grow out of anyway.

Michael loves the fact that the kids call him ‘cool-cool’ he is really fond of the nickname and finds it sweet. How to I tell him not to write ‘cool-cool’ in cards, or refer to himself as that when talking to my daughter?

Should I respect my partners decision and speak to Michael about it, or tell my partner he is being silly about something that doesn’t really matter?

Your partner sounds unhinged.

The hierarchy of the family...what?!

Call your partner Dick- Dick and tell him to grow up.

How to I tell him not to write ‘cool-cool’ in cards, or refer to himself as that when talking to my daughter?

You don't. You tell your partner he's being ridiculous.

This. Wtf.

😂😂😂 ⬆️⬆️⬆️

How to I tell him not to write ‘cool-cool’ in cards, or refer to himself as that when talking to my daughter

You absolutely don't. If that's what the family call him she'll follow suit regardless of the hierarchy 🙄 of the family

My mum very occasionally babysits for us.

Often, when one of us arrives home, my mum will say “Olivia’s had a lovely day with Nana” and then proceed to tell us what she and Olivia have been up to together.

My partner thinks that this is a weird thing to say and that my mum is being rude. By suggesting “Olivia has had a lovely day” means that she doesn’t normally have a lovely day??? And that my mum is implying that she has a nicer day with her than she does with us.

He wants me to tell my mum not to say that anymore because he finds it patronising.

He also found it insulting that she suggested he shouldn’t keep eggs in the fridge and that you should keep eggs in the cupboard instead, because he is a grown man and can decide where he keeps his eggs. He thinks she is being rude and overstepping by offering unwanted advice.

AIBU by not speaking to my mum about these issues, and are these two examples anything my partner should be getting worked up about?
Is my mum rude or overstepping?

I've read and commented on your other thread too.

Your partner is a dick. Not much more to be said really.

Do you want to be with someone who is unkind, unreasonable and thinks they have the right to dictate how everyone in their life (or perhaps just the females, I wouldn't be surprised) behaves?

I certainly wouldn't.

Good dads don't behave like this so please don't follow up with a post saying he's a good dad. He really isn't.

Your partner sounds so weird about those my kids have a specific nickname for their grandfather which steams from our eldest and now all the grandkids call him it. It's nice when there are family nick names that have random roots. Tell him to wind his neck in.

Those nicknames that evolve within families are part of a rich tapestry, your partner sounds like a dick, or someone who had a very rigid childhood (could be both).

I'd find the comments about the child having a lovely day nice that effort has gone into it. I would tell your partner to wind his neck in about that.

The comments about eggs from your mum are mildly annoying (same with ketchup, don't think it matters if fridge or cupboard but some people are a bit adamant). In the context that she is someone who loves your child and does stuff for your family I'd ignore the comments, my own mum gives advice which I just nod along to and do my own thing. Because in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter.

I've read and commented on your other thread, and now I've read this one your partner is giving seriously controlling vibes.

Seen both your threads
Your partner is an insecure nob at best, deliberately trying to cut you off from your family at worst.

Tell him to get over himself and if he doesn't stop feeling so hard done by when it's just normal things then LTB

Your partner is unpleasant, irrational and a trouble maker.

Actually, he's just nasty.

The best and most basic way to show respect to someone is to refer to them by their name of choice. It's much more respectful of your DC to call him Cool-cool - which is delightful! - than Uncle Mike if he doesn't want to be known by the latter.
It sounds like you have bigger rrla issues to deal with than just this though.

It annoys him because he isn't "in on the joke". He wasn't around when it came to be and he doesn't see the point of it. Doesn't mean anything should change though, he just needs to grow the fuck up.

This is especially obvious when reading your other thread where he's trying to claim your mother is calling him a bad parent by saying that your daughter had a lovely day. What a prize tool.

Dear God, how do you put up with this pathetic man?

Do not talk to your Mum or brother about this.
Your husband is a total weirdo or as other posters have pointed out he wants to control you and cause a wedge between you and your family.

Either way do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him? He sounds exhausting, he will grind you down.

Your partner is a massive dickhead! How do you put up with his superior, opinionated drivel?
Tell him to stop being such a twat & be grateful that your child has a loving, caring family who are also around to help out, every now & then.

Please don’t upset your brother with this nonsense. Your OH is being a dick