to never feel comfortable with the body i have

[battenburg100]

Hi everyone
Just looking for advice really on how to feel comfortable with the body i have. Since i was 6 years old I have felt self-conscious of my body and disgusted with it , ashamed and felt that it doesnt look right ie not slim enough - hard to believe at such a young age i felt like that. I look back at photos from that time and i was a completely normal weight.
.All my life I have been plagued with these body insecurities despiite being a size 8 to 10 till fairly recently - but due to life stresses am more a 10 to 12 now.
I know the negative way I feel about my body isnt normal but dont quite understand why I feel this way.
It affects every day life where I will wear a cardigan in the summer to hide my body and wont swim on holiday. I detest summer as I cant wear my coat to hide my body.
If I could describe my body in one word it is shame,
I was brought up in a family where fat was disapproved of - I dont know if this is the reason for my negative feelings about my body - but i know i am not fat, so my negative feelings about my body dont makes sense, My mum is intensely glamourous and very slim and I always felt in her shadow,.
What could these feelings of shame about my body be down to?
I definitely feel there is more to it.
I would be so grateful if any mumsnetters could share their experiences and perhaps shed light on why a normal weight person could feel so ashamed and self conscious all their life.
I just want to feel carefree and not uptight and worried all the time that I am not good enough,
Thanks so much

you have to stop this. for your own sake. i fucked them all ages ago and eat what i want, whenever i want. the man who is my forever husband accepted it , even though he likes slimmer people. i challenge every man or woman who does not like my weight to give me a break and leave me in peace and I can at least sit down, have a cup of tea and cake

What helps me massively is focusing on what my body can do, not what it looks like. Training for a sport really helps. Could you start weight training or something?

Get some therapy.
Start thinking about your body as much more than its appearance.

I'm a powerlifer. If you looked at me you'd think I was overweight and unhealthy, but we need the extra fat to help us lift?

My PT always made me laugh because he was a bodybuilder, and he told me you could knock most BBs over with a steing breath before a competition.

I look at my body now in terms of what ot can do, rather than what it looks like.

I have felt like that. I was mocked by my family for having a big bum, it's big! No matter what size I was the bum was bigger than the rest of me.

I spent years hating the sight of my bum if I caught a reflection in a mirror. This started at puberty and my mother still mocks my bum at 60.

Last time she insulted me I said to her, well at least it's not sliding down the back of my legs like yours is!

Ironically my bum is extremely fashionable now and clothes are cut to fit properly and I like the look of it! I got a whistle this week when I went to take the rubbish out!

At the end of the day it's a bit ridiculous to be obsessed with how you look. I forget about my arse for a long time and only get reminded occasionally because I don't obsess over my reflection in the mirror very much.

When I do spot my bum now and again I just think, oh yes, that big bum is still there, I forgot I had that! How funny. It's been following me around all that time and I didn't notice.

Occasionally people have complained about uncomfortable seats and I pipe up with, I'm fine, I've got my own cushion with me.

Just lighten up about it. We are all a weird shape, us humans. Glamorous is a niche style, it's not how most women get through the day, it's a bit hard work if you ask me, I always pity people who have to be glammed up for work on TV etc. It's not what men have to do.

Liberate yourself from body image and as pp said, think about strength and fitness, it will serve you better in your old age. Glamour fades.

How old are you now OP? Surprisingly the older I get (and probably the more my body doesn't look that great), the more I like it. It enables me to live my life and do the things I enjoy! It's sad that you don't go swimming at the beach. There are loads of options now for different types of swim wear, you don't have to wear a skimpy bikini. You could wear swimwear that looks like shorts and a vest. Find something you are comfortable wearing and enjoy what your body can do.