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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who's in the wrong in this parking scenario?

27 replies

pinotnow · 07/07/2023 20:52

I have a drive but rarely use it as it is horribly steep and people park right up to it on a narrow street. On the odd occasion I have parked on the drive, I've had to do a 43 point manoeuvre to get off again, so I avoid it. But I park across it, using no more space than if I was on it.

I got home today from shopping at about 3.30 - as a teacher I'm never usually in at this time on a weekday during term time, but I'm on strike today. There is a primary school about a 5 min walk from me and I have been vaguely aware that people park on my street during pick up/drop off time, which is obviously fine and would never normally affect me anyway.

When I got home today, there was an SUV to one side of my drive and a Fiesta-type car to the other. My dropped kerb was free, but they were both parked right up to it. The Fiesta-type car had a man in his 60s in it - waiting for his dd/dil and gc as it turned out. There was about a quarter of a car length the other side of his car to the next parked car, which I noticed and felt a bit annoyed about as it made my life harder. I started parallel parking but it was very tight.

Unfortunately I bumped his car - very lightly. As soon as I felt contact I obviously stopped and he leapt out of his car (understandably) and shouted "Why would you do that?" I explained that that there was room (I've got into the same space many a time) bit also apologised for making contact and asked if he could see a mark. At this point he started mansplaining that there obviously wouldn't be a mark as I had been going so slowly. I apologised again and then also asked if he could move a few inches the other way so I could more easily get in. He looked aghast and said he could but then wouldn't be able to get out. This was nonsense as there was loads of room the other way. I said 'really?' and he was adamant so I said in that case I would park elsewhere, which was ridiculous as I was at my house. However, at that point a woman and child arrived and they drove off.

But AIBU to think if you park close to someone's drive to the extent that you think they shouldn't attempt to park there, then you may as well park across their dropped kerb and are therefore UR? If I was waiting and then realised some one was having trouble parking because of me, I would definitely move. If I then thought I wouldn't be able to get out, I'd drive off - not block someone's access to their own property. He shook me up - he was so angry but was taking up way more room than he needed to. AIBU?

OP posts:

Sissynova · 07/07/2023 20:54

There was enough space for you to drive onto your drive in the normal way. There was not enough space to parallel park between the two cars but you did it anyway and knocked into the stationary car.
Of course you are the one at fault.

RedHelenB · 07/07/2023 20:55

Yabu. If your driver is wide enough for a sideways car to park there should be no difficulty in actually parking on your drive. Obviously there wasn't room for you to park because you bumped his car.

LadyTemperance · 07/07/2023 20:56

YABU I am afraid, it sounds like he was legally parked and there wasn’t room for you to get your car in without bumping him.
Even though you own the drive it is still not legal to park across the dropped kerb. Why didn’t you just reverse into your drive?

Sissynova · 07/07/2023 20:57

But I park across it, using no more space than if I was on it.

Unless you’re going to claim to drive a smart car I find this hard to believe. Cars as a rule are not square in design so they won’t take up the same space when when parked at 90 degrees.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 07/07/2023 20:59

Did you explain it was your property and what you were trying to do.

Or did you maybe just ask him to move back a bit?

CatsOnTheChair · 07/07/2023 21:00

Unfortunately you hit a stationary car, trying to park in an illegal space - you shouldn't block dropped kerbs even if they are your own.
All your fault.

MaryShelley1818 · 07/07/2023 21:06

YABVU. You have a drive so use it. I'd have been furious if I was the car you bumped, what a stupid thing for you to do.

BellaJuno · 07/07/2023 21:06

Oh dear OP, you’d have to do some serious contortions to convince me you weren’t in the wrong. Even if he had been hanging over your dropped kerb, it would still be your fault for hitting a stationary car.

KrisAkabusi · 07/07/2023 21:09

You admit yourself he was legally parked, but you hit him with your car anyway. How can you possibly even question if you're being reasonable?!

ChildrenOfRuin · 07/07/2023 21:09

Surely you need less space to drive directly into a driveway than you do to parallel park across one?

If there was enough room for you to attempt parallel parking then it sounds like there should have been enough room for you to pull onto the driveway.

IncompleteSenten · 07/07/2023 21:09

What shape is your car that you could put it sideways but not get onto your drive?

The room and manoeuvre needed to parallel park would have also seen you able to reverse onto your drive, surely?

CrazyArmadilloLady · 07/07/2023 21:11

I was surprised to learn recently that it’s actually perfectly legal to park across your own dropped kerb. I’m not in the UK, but I could’ve sworn black and blue it was illegal here, and it turns out it’s not.

In any case, the dropped kerb was left clear. The other man wasn’t to know you park across it, rather than drive up it.

FlounderingFruitcake · 07/07/2023 21:11

You can’t block a dropped curb even if it’s access to your drive. If you hit a stationary and legally parked car then obviously it’s your fault. Everything else is irrelevant.

In future reverse onto the drive, it might be easier or park in the nearest available legal parking space and you won’t have problems. This time though, you were completely at fault; own it.

magicstar1 · 07/07/2023 21:11

Why don’t you reverse on to your drive, then you can drive straight out?

Pkhsvd · 07/07/2023 21:14

He didn’t do anything wrong in this scenario.

moneymatr · 07/07/2023 21:14

You should reverse onto your drive if you struggle to get out. You are completely in the wrong because you tried to park in a space that was too tight. (You should not block a drive even if it's your own) and you hit a car.

Gazelda · 07/07/2023 21:16

I can't see any way you could argue that you weren't in the wrong? You parked in a spot that was so tight you ended up bumping into a stationary legally parked car.

If you couldn't fit, you should have parked either on your drive or found another spot on the street.

Mabmabdwarf · 07/07/2023 21:18

Yabu.

If you can’t fit in a space then you don’t park in it!!

BiscuitsandPuffin · 07/07/2023 21:18

Given that there wasn't enough space, today would have been a good one to be one of the days you parked on your drive. At the point where you've hit someone else's car you're in the wrong I'm afraid.

loudbatperson · 07/07/2023 21:20

I have to agree with everyone else, if the space was that tight you should just reversed onto your drive or parked elsewhere,

SauvignonBlanche · 07/07/2023 21:22

Reverse onto your drive.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 07/07/2023 21:25

SauvignonBlanche · 07/07/2023 21:22

Reverse onto your drive.

Exactly. I used to have a house next to a school with a 90 feet drive to the house. I reversed in every time. So much easier.

Mapples · 07/07/2023 21:26

To be honest if someone parks either side of a dropped kerb it's not unreasonable for them to not forsee someone parallel parking in that space. If they left enough room for you to get onto your drive (which they must have as your car won't be wider than it is long) then that's reasonable. If you wanted to still try you should have asked him to move forward first, you're in the wrong for pranging his car.

yipeeyiyay · 07/07/2023 21:31

Why didn't/don't you just reverse into your drive?

BravoMyDear · 07/07/2023 21:35

Nobody was blocking your dropper kerb so they WNBU.

You bumped his car so YABU.

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