To think my friend is mad?

[Emprexia]

This is more of a WWYD than an AIBU.. but still.

You've been trying for a baby for a year, you found out 4 weeks ago you were pregnant.

You've had all the early symptoms and wake up one day while 8wks and they're gone.
The next day you notice spotting.

Do you
a)email your dr and agree to go see him the next morning.
b) book a taxi and get your ass to the hospital and checked over

Guess which she's doing sigh and no, its not b.

I would probably do A as well, I don't think it's an odd decision at ALL, let alone 'mad'. I've read enough and so have most people in this day and age to know that spotting can happen in many many healthy pregnancies.

I think the best thing you can do, no matter whether you agree with her or not, is tell her you're sure she's doing the right thing. It's nice if your friends back you up on your decisions I think and trust your judgement and I'm sure she'd appreciate that.

Having bled all the way through both pregnancies, I would probably do A

In case anyone's forgotten, Kaishay has Aspergers and tends to speak her mind in a forthright manner

No need for anghry face Kaish

I did A which was on a friday, and gp sent me to EAU on the monday.

I don't quite get why you are so annoyed about it tbh.

Wether she goes now or tommorow, the result will most likely be the same whatever happens.

Thanks FA - Maybe i should change myself to KaishayHasAS so people realise i'm not being cruel, or mean.. just blunt ol' me.

I think she's just frustrated at having no power to drag her friend somewhere that will help her...maybe thinks her friend is being fobbed off and wants her to stand up for herself - intentions good but it came across a bit haywire I reckon.

x posted pet

I will change mine then too...FAisaSillyOldBint would be about right!

Its exactly that FA.. i'm a big softy and her hubby is away on a business trip.

Were she a local friend i'd be on the phone asking if she wanted me to drive her to the out of hours clinic to get checked out, or at least want someone to come and make sure she's resting and got plenty of chocolate, icecream and DVD's

i hate the thought of her being home alone and worrying herself silly until she can get to the drs in the morning.

how are you and your friend?

When I was bleeding a few weeks ago I did a.
I was very upset, but what will be will be, a scan would change nothing. Luckily was well at my already planned scan.

I think you're very judgemental for calling her mad, she's just handling things differently from you.

Sorry, just read Flllightattendant's post. I seem to be very forthright today as well, the words 'bed' 'of' and 'wrong side' all jump to mind...

Kaishay. I don't know you, didn't know you had Aspergers. Your OP is written in a bit of a strident way but I'm a bit like that too. You are just trying to help your friend and it would seem obvious to you to try and get a definite diagnosis/prognosis. But, as others have said, everyone is different, some of us like to trust to fate, and, from others' experience, sadly, it seems unlikely that anything can be done to influence the outcome, either way. Not having been through it myself, I would not necessarily have known that. Did you?

What is obvious (from the OPost and onwards)is that you care immensely about your friend and are just concerned to see her suffering and not knowing for certain. This is a place where we should feel free to vent and, regardless of how you word it, people should be able to read between the lines and realise that that is all you are doing. You should not be criticised for it. Given what you have said about her dh being away, and that you live some distance away, it must also be very frustrating and worrying that you can only try and help her over the phone.

I hope the news is not bad but I know you will support your friend.

TBH I would be surprised too that my friend wasn't going straight to hospital and I'll explain why.

In my first pregnancy I started bleeding at 8 weeks. I was on the phone (4:30) to my other half and had to say "TD shut up! I'm bleeding!" It took several attempts for him to shut up and listen.

I called my GP and the receptionist said to come straight in, a worker from the block I was living in said she'd walk me around - I'd just had a row with her and she felt guilty (even more so when Mum nearly killed her later).

Sister met me half way to the surgery, Mum just before I got there and TD just after I got in (just to get distances straight, sister worked around a 1.5 miles away and was in a car, TD worked 1 mile away and was on foot, Mum works about 3 miles away and was in a car, surgery is about 1/4 mile away lol). I was sent straight into the next Dr who sent someone out. She said my cervix was closed, to go home, rest and go to A&E if the bleeding got worse.

My sister took me back to my parents house and before long I went to the toilet and couldn't get up for 15 minutes because I was bleeding so much. Mum came home (5:45) and took me straight to A&E. Bypassed triage, sent straight down to the cubicles.

Spent some time in A&E while they did a water sample for pregnancy test and got a canula in my arm (ward refused me without it). At 9pm I was on the ward being examined and Dr removed one of my babies, I had lost one at home and a scan the following morning found another but they weren't sure if it was alive, I lost the third a few days later.

I had a second pregnancy I lost at 20 weeks, which was fairly symptom free - apart from the odd TIA, which I didn't know at the time.

Third pregnancy I was on aspirin and Clexane (heparin). Because of that I bled everytime I had sex or an internal. It took awhile to realise what it was and for awhile everytime I bled I went to hospital. The first time I called the out of hours GP and they arranged for me to be seen on a ward as it was a Saturday.

Maybe my history has coloured my view, but when I first bled there wasn't any colouring and I still went to hospital, it wasn't heavy at that point either. It might not change anything to go straight to the hospital, but they can get you on a drip if you lose too much blood etc.

She's not got in touch yet today, but she does work as a Lawyer so she may not be able to update until her lunch break.... I'm trying to hope no news is good news.

She might be scared, and in denial. If she has a bad feeling, then she might not be ready to confront it yet. You may think she is mad, but miscarriage is a horrible thing to happen, and affects people in different ways. She might want some time to just imagine that things are fine - who knows they might be....

Personally I would try and do b, but like others might not have that option as I have other children to look after.

The best thing you can do for her is to support her at this difficult time, in whatever she decides to do. She has to cope in her own way, and being pressured into doing something she is not ready for is not going to help her do that

Oh, didn't read full thread, sorry a bit late with my comments. Good on you supporting her, adn I hope things turn out well

She just got in touch, everything is ok.. still a good strong heartbeat showing on the sonogram her Dr did for her.

I'm so relieved and happy for her.. just need to keep reminding her to take it easy now!

I don't think she is mad.

Im glad to hear she is ok.

Glad to hear that she and the baby are ok. You are a good friend to her.

oh good, glad the scan went well.

good news!