Is this normal for older people ?

[hazelnutty1]

Really hope this doesn’t cause offence but I’m just really worried.

i was brought up from a young child by my aunt and uncle. They have done so, so much for me and I’ll never be able to repay or explain how grateful I am. They gave me the most amazing childhood and every opportunity to shape my adult life. I’m sure you get it- they’re just amazing people :)

but they’re getting older now and i would be lieing if I said it didn’t worry me, because it does. They’re still extremely active and agile for their age (they’re not exactly old, they’re in their mid 70s!) but I’m definitely noticing them getting older. We’re really, really close and it breaks my heart thinking about something happening to them.

my uncle in particular has become so tired recently. It started gradually over the last few years but over the last few months he’s tired all the time. His sleep pattern hasnt changed- he goes to bed around midnight, sleeps solidly and wakes up around half 8. But today he was out between 10-12 and had to nap as soon as he got in because he was so exhausted. That’s not unusual for him- over the last few months he can barely make it through the day without having a sleep as he is so exhausted. he went to the GP a few months ago when it started and he had low thyroid for a few years so he takes medication for that but the medication was working and his thyroid is fine. He has had his b12 and vitamin D levels checked which are well above normal and at the upper end. He is just always tired now and it’s getting worse and he permenantly looks gaunt and drained. But his blood tests were fine and he seems otherwise well.

I suppose I’m just asking, does anyone have older parents or family and is this kind of tiredness normal when people get older? Am I worrying about nothing? My friends parents are all in their 50s so it’s a big gap and I can’t ask them or compare with them

I just love them so much and I’m so worried about something being wrong

Looking gaunt and drained is not normal at any age. Truly!

It sounds as if your uncle should be seen by another doctor.

I’m almost in their age bracket, and I’m always knackered. Two hours shopping equals three hours with feet up and reading/ watching the Tour/ surfing the internet.

it doesn’t hurt, though.

I wouldn't say looking gaunt and drained was normal, no.

My in-laws are in their late seventies and s my grandparents reached their nineties and I wouldn't describe any of them as being gaunt.

I would try and get your uncle back to the doctor for more checks.

Looking ill like that is not normal. Has he had his heart checked?

Well, I know people well into their 80s who are full of life and seem to be very active, and I know people in their 50s who a knackered, so I don't think you can generalise other than to say, as a massive generalisation, most people do have less energy, and do tire more easily as they get older, yes.
I don't think the 'having a nap' is particularly an issue, or even unusual.
IMO 'looking gaunt' isn't a healthy look at any age though.

I'm 74, 75 in a couple of months.

Speaking from my own experience, no it isn't normal in a healthy person of that age to be so tired all the time.

I never nap during the day, even on a very busy day, but of course everyone is different and even some much younger people nap during the day. It's just something that I've never done.

My exh is 86 and is still working, albeit part time.

His bedtime is fairly late. I find if I go to bed late I can feel tired the next day even if I sleep a bit later in the morning - I'm usually asleep before midnight, going to bed around 11.15 and getting up around 8-8.30. Although, it was later this morning as my dog woke me a couple of times during the night.

Does he have a good, healthy diet. That will obviously affect his overall health?

Also has he been checked for sleep apnoea? That can cause massive disruption in sleep and subsequent tiredness.

Looking gaunt and drained doesn't sound good and I agree with pp, he should go back to his GP or see another doctor.

Having an underactive thyroid can make you tired often, even when you are on medication. It may be his thyroid. Or maybe his medication needs tweaked. Try and encourage him to go for a check up

How is your uncle's appetite OP? Is he gaunt because he is eating less?

I think getting tired more easily is common but looked gaunt and drained isn't. My inlaws are mid 70s and do sometimes need a nap especially if they have been up late or had a busy day but they don't look unwell.

I think it depends on your general activity levels my dad is in his early seventies and runs 5k or cycles at least 10k every day, he also takes the dog for a good long walk or two. However he always had manual jobs and has always been regularly involved in sport or exercise , so this is a step down from what he used to do, he told me the other day he's given up his sit ups because it was making his neck ache, it transpired he'd been doing 150 weighted sit ups every morning and evening! DM is still in her sixties and working part time so not comparable really.
Also my gran in her nineties is part of a weekly walking group, plays bowls twice a week, choir, is always off on holiday. I'm hoping it's genetic!

My other gran was very different didn't walk far went to bed around ten thirty and didn't get up until eight and probably couldn't have managed a whole day out walking etc at that age, would often be heard saying things like ooh I need to sit down and have a cuppa.

It depends what's normal for your uncle, you seem worried so it wouldn't hurt to support him to set his doctor again.

Gaunt isn't normal unless his thyroid is very over-active

However, I've had a daily nap (or more) when possible, since my first pregnancy 45 years ago!

OP your uncle sounds just like me. My GP has been proactive and I've had every blood test going. I have a completely clean bill of health but still have no energy at all, walk only very slowly with a stick and feel like my own grandmother. I'm only 75.

I wouldn’t say it was necessarily ‘normal’ - but that doesn’t mean it’s anything sinister either. If he’s losing weight and is exhausted all the time, it could be that his thyroid meds need adjusting, as it can take time to get the dose right. There are honestly lots of things it could be, most of which would be perfectly treatable, so I’d suggest he needs to go back to the doctor. Has he told the doctor he is losing weight, as well as feeling tired?

Ultimately people do all age differently. My mum and MIL are about the same age (80ish). My mum is physically quite fit and lively, does loads of heavy gardening for hours, barely sits still during the day, goes for walks etc. But my MIL is quite frail physically - she uses a walking stick, finds stairs a bit of a challenge and can’t lift anything slightly heavy. On the other hand, she’s much sharper than my mum when it comes to learning new things or sorting out household admin and she has a much better memory.

Gently, life expectancy for a man in England is 78, so I would say he is old (although having got to his age he is likely to reach at least his mid-eighties).

I would encourage him to have another discussion with a GP, but feeling more tired than usual when you are this age isn’t unusual.

It must be horrible to be so worried, and to not have your peers relate to you in the same way. Would he allow you to go to the GP with him? It might reassure you?

Did he get tested for anaemia? My DDad is a similar age and just been diagnosed with this.