I’ll try and explain this as best as I can but also keep it anonymous. I actually posted recently and can’t find my post now (I’ve checked my thread list etc and it’s not there, no idea why)
I’m absolutely dreading going back to work after 4 weeks off. To the extent I feel sick and im NEVER usually anxious about anything but im absolutely dreading it.
this is my first graduate job but I’ve worked as hard as i could for my position and I have a good job in the company. However there is a toxic office management system and it’s basically been been allowed for them to treat employees like crap. It’s got progressively worse and only certain employees are targeted (usually young and female) and it’s little things like being bossed around, being spoken to like dirt and having the managers take their temper out on you by shouting and calling you names or by being passive aggressive and nasty. It’s never affected me until 2 months ago where they started to target me (which came in line with me progressing and working further up the ladder) and I put my foot down from the start and stood up for myself. There were several incidents where I was treated appallingly and I put my foot down and stood up for myself. I didn’t shout back, didn’t name call or swear back at them, but I stood up for myself and made it clear I would NOT be treated like that. They were quite literally lost for words when I stood up for myself and clearly didn’t expect it. They told me everyone in there hated me and I was rubbish at my job. But I know I’m not so I didn’t let it bother me but I stood up for myself in that I will NOT allow anyone to treat me like that. If I’m being totally honest it did hurt me and I cried a lot in private about it.
I reported them to their seniors when it didn’t stop (who are absolutely amazing managers and great people) and received official apologies and reassurances that they wouldn’t treat me like this anymore.
I don’t mean to sound like a show off, but I’m extremely fortunate in my family support system (very high flying lawyers, solicitors and consultants) and I’ve always been raised to stand up for myself and how to handle things professionally and firmly. I’m absolutely NOT perfect (very far from it!) but my parents have taught me to never let an older man treat me like that just because I’m a young female and they think they can get away when it
I know I should probably leave the company but other than this I’m really happy and there is good progression for me there and I don’t want to throw away what I’ve worked so hard for, I definitely will leave but in the meantime I need to keep working there unfortunately
I don’t really care if those managers dislike me- I know they do- but other colleagues dislike me now too. Previously we got on so well. It’s weird as they’ve seen how the managers treat people, yet they still think they’re great and wonderful and they are all friends outside of work. They don’t get treated like that so I think that’s why they like them. But now they all treat me differently since standing up for myself, and I’ve had comments that I need to stop being so ‘spikey’, that I don’t respect the managers and the worst ‘little girls should be seen and not heard’😒 they don’t like me because I stood up to their friends who are bullies. They ignore me and are just generally quite hostile towards me now and they think I’m ‘catty’ and ‘bossy’ (that was the topic of my previous thread)
I know I can’t make people like me, and I don’t want them to if that’s what they are like, but it makes for a very awkward work atmosphere and I keep leaving feeling shit and so lonely. I know I did the right thing standing up for myself but I’ve alienated myself even more and it’s hard not to question if I should have kept my mouth shut and not rocked the boat.
I’ve had 4 weeks off work (saved up annual leave) and I’m dreading going back on Monday.
I just wondered, has anyone else been in this position and had to deal with awkwardness at work? Where you know everyone dislikes you but you have to get on with it until you got a new job? Just wondered if anyone had any advice and could offer any wisdom. Thanks in advance 😊