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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell the mum?

17 replies

Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 11:20

I brought my 5 year old daughter to the Park yesterday. There were some kids we vaguely know from the neighbourhood. Two 8 year old girls and two 12 year old boys. Each pair is a brother/sister. I know the mum of one of the pairs of siblings to see and have her on WhatsApp.

Basically my daughter was on a swing and the bigger girls were pushing her. The boys were standing beside her. I wasn't too far, just watching carefully as something made me uneasy. I heard my daughter say 'I know what sex is. It's kissing'. I wentover straightaway and asked what was going on. Everyone went cagey and my daughter basically told me to go away and that she wanted to keep chatting. For the record, my daughter has an 8 year old brother who has probably told her sex is kissing at some point, as that seems to be what he thinks. We closely monitor what they watch etc so it's just silly talk between them.

I asked my daughter about it again and she said one of the boys asked her had she ever seen her mum and dad sexing. She closed up and didn't want to talk any more. I've no idea how to proceed. I don't want to force her to talk about it.

I'm not sure which of the boys asked her this but it a obviously totally inappropriate. Would you text the mum of one of the boys? I'm kind of in shock. Am I being silly?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 07/07/2023 11:22

Did you ask her this in front of the other kids? What we're their reactions?

Original poster
Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 11:23

SleepingStandingUp · 07/07/2023 11:22

Did you ask her this in front of the other kids? What we're their reactions?

No. My daughter seemed to be showing off in front of them and made a big deal out of 'go away mum, we are just chatting!'. My instinct was just remove her so I told her we had to go home. They didn't seem bothered. There was a kind of giggly atmosphere and I just wanted out of it.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 07/07/2023 11:25

What would you say to the mum exactly?

Original poster
Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 11:27

That I'd heard my daughter saying she knew what sex was to the kids, and when I asked she said the boys had asked her had she seen me and my husband having sex and if she knew what sex was. That I wasnt sure exactly what happened or which boy had said it but I'd like to know if my son was asking children questions like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 11:28

If my son was 12 and was asking 5 year old girls if they'd seen their parents having sex, I would want to know.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 07/07/2023 11:29

Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 11:28

If my son was 12 and was asking 5 year old girls if they'd seen their parents having sex, I would want to know.

But you don’t no which kid said it.

Original poster
Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 11:30

TeaKitten · 07/07/2023 11:29

But you don’t no which kid said it.

Show quote history

I know. So is it better to just leave it?

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 07/07/2023 11:33

I’m not sure, it depends what you want from it really and how you think the mum will react. Some parents may take it well and discuss with their son, others will be fuming that you are messaging to accuse their son of being inappropriate with a 5 year old when you don’t even no who it was or what exactly was said.

Needmorelego · 07/07/2023 11:36

I would have said to the kids “Can you be careful about what you talk about while in the park- my little girl is a lot younger than you. Thanks”
Kids talk like that to sound “cool” and show off.

LuvSmallDogs · 07/07/2023 11:36

I'd just leave it. It's not very nice, but it's always been a thing for (some) older kids to ask younger kids stuff like this so that they can have a laugh at the kid saying "yes" or "sex is kissing" etc.

Peony654 · 07/07/2023 11:46

I'd leave it unless you know for sure which child it was. It's not great but kids are always going to talk about stuff like that

ButImNotOldEnough · 07/07/2023 11:51

I’d be more worried that your DD and DS seem to talk about sex themselves than I would be about this situation.

Mortgageportgage · 07/07/2023 12:13

But your daughter brought it up! You really can't text the mother saying your dd started a conversation about sex and her son contributed to the conversation.

Original poster
Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 12:38

Peony654 · 07/07/2023 11:46

I'd leave it unless you know for sure which child it was. It's not great but kids are always going to talk about stuff like that

You're right. I'll leave it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwouldyoudoboo · 07/07/2023 12:39

Mortgageportgage · 07/07/2023 12:13

But your daughter brought it up! You really can't text the mother saying your dd started a conversation about sex and her son contributed to the conversation.

No she didn't. One of the boys asked her if she knew what sex is and I heard her answering. Anyway I'm going to leave it.

OP posts:
Toomuchtrouble4me · 13/07/2023 20:32

It’s not a big deal. Just kids trying to work out the mysteries of the world.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 13/07/2023 20:34

Toomuchtrouble4me · 13/07/2023 20:32

It’s not a big deal. Just kids trying to work out the mysteries of the world.

Exactly. They are just kids. I'd leave it.

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