to think my mum is being taken advantage of?

[mummasgirl]

My mum is a cleaner and has been for years, she is more a housekeeper who cleans, lots of ironing, washing, helping with things such as cooking as well as housework.

Mum has a few older lady clients who trust mum implicitly and so in addition to cleaning, have asked mum to do the bit of odd “care” type work - helping with hospital apps, taking to pharmacy / errands. It works well.

She recently gained a new client that she shares with another woman. The “job” advert (daughter posted on a local Facebook) stated someone was needed for 2 hours a day to do light housework, change the bed covers most days due to elderly mother and just be there whilst she showers.

Now it turns out the woman is an alcoholic who refuses a care home. She wets the bed every night so it always needs changing but it’s quite standard and mum is fine with this. However, today she called me up saying it was the worst day ever. Whilst changing the bed, the woman had a shower and came downstairs fine. Mum smelled something and assumed she hadn’t flushed the loo so went upstairs to find excrement all over the walls, toilet, floor, bath and all her clothes where she has tried to hide it. Mum had to clean this all up and to top it off, the washing machine is broken so she had washed it in the bath and told the children of the woman that a new washing machine was urgent (it’s been broken a while). The other woman who shares the work was informed too and she said that she has had to go to the laundrette with the bedding a few times etc.

Now in my opinion, for £20 an hour, this is a massive piss take. It isn’t a cleaning job with a bit of help like advertised, it’s a full on care job and I’m not sure how much companies charge to send care workers round for 2 hours a day and whether they’re expected to clean everything??

Mum earns under 12k a year and is also a carer for my disabled dad, I do all her finances as I’m an accountant and so whilst she pays NIC (2/4) she doesnt qualify for income tax, but £20 still seems bad per hour for a self employed person?

I would really love to know what’s the norm as I just feel so upset for my mum as it’s a significant chunk of her weekly money but it’s also not what she signed up for and I want to suggest she doesn’t carry on. Or ask for more money?

My friend experienced similar. She was paid to clean but actually ended up babysitting an alcoholic. The arrangement ended when she drank a bottle of gin and fell in the shower knocking her teeth out. The family were extremely angry with my friend and sent her the dentist’s invoice, she reported them to social services.

The family are trying to save money by not using a care agency.
Does your mum have the right ppe? She's putting herself at risk working like this. It's really not worth it. She should leave and make a safe guarding referral to social services.

Looking after a relative is way below NMW

This doesn't sound like cleaning work, this sounds like caring work. The alcoholism may be causing the client to behave as if she has dementia, or she actually does have dementia. It isn't what your mother agreed to and she should quit and definitely quit if they aren't even willing to fix or replace the washing machine. Nobody should be trying to wash excrement encrusted sheets in a bath.

My mother had an excellent carer from a large care company that advertises on television quite frequently. The cost was £27 an hour for an experienced carer who had been background checked. I imagine the carer got less than $20 an hour for helping my mother. The carer did help people with dementia.

My mother has carers in 3 times a day.

These people are taking the piss. She needs to resign and they need to get proper care in place.

We have ft carers for my daughter.

Employed earn £14.80ph which is set by the Council.

Self employed earn £17.50.

If we use an agency we have to pay £29ph but the carers themselves receive half that.

No carers are paid for travel time.

Carers are terribly underpaid unfortunately and it's a difficult and demanding job. Sounds like an awful position your mum is in but financially she's doing very well to be on £20ph.

Until you mentioned her still being together with your dad I seriously wondered if you were the DD of someone I know

Anyway, yes - while your mum sreems prepared to help this is way beyond what cleaners would normally expect to do and is unlikely to get any better. So personally I'd encourage her to get out of there and make a referral to Adult SS while she's at it

Carers' wages are abysmal. But that aside your mum should simply say she doesn't want a carer's job but wishes them well, and hand in her notice. If money is tight she could look for a job in the mean time, but make it clear she is there to do normal cleaning duties, not care work. I think the family are probably desperate to be honest, but it's still not OK to offer your mum a cleaning job, but expect her to be clearing up excrement from the walls and hand washing the bedding.

It's not the money that's the issue.

This is a safeguarding issue. The woman is vulnerable and it sounds like the adult children are trying to cut corners by not having a proper care plan in place. The fact that they also haven't replaced the washing machine when it is quite clearly needed every day, is also unacceptable. The continence service from the GP should also be involved.

I would report to social services, if the family are unwilling to take responsibility.

This! I'm a fully trained carer ( I earn alot less than £20 ph) and I wouldn't put up with this. Your mum was right to report it to family, moving forward it might be worth her having an honest chat with them to outline what they are actually looking for. Red flag here is the FB advert. Sounds like this is a piss take at the moment.
I'm now away to see if I can find a £20ph job being a carer 😅

Tbh 20ph is fine. But the problem I have is cleaning up bodily stuff does not come under carer. You need proper training, cover etc for that so I would not be doing this job to many health risks

Your mum needs to cancel this client. Is she insured to perform caring duties? What if something happened to this woman and the family tried to pin fault on your mum? Which they very easily could. They might not get anywhere with it but it could cause a lot of trouble.
Then again, your mum is an adult with agency. If she continues to go in then she's taking on that risk.

Can people stop obsessing about how much she’s getting an hour. Your poor mum has been taken for a ride, even if she charges £40 p/h it’s not the job she expected or is trained or should be subjected to.

I understand about the hourly rate, I think it’s that my mum would be paid £15-20ph for cleaning which she enjoys, not wiping excrement off walls of a grown woman. The woman is sound mentally and was discharged by previous care, but is an alcoholic so they wanted someone to help with ensuring she eats and the place is clean enough.

The woman refused help on weekends and so my mum will have to go in Monday to God Knows What! If she wets the bed everyday then I don’t know how many days she will lay in soiled bedding.

Yes, exactly - it's not really about the hourly rate, it's about the fact that this was advertised as an ordinary household cleaning job when in fact it's the job of a carer. Dealing with an apparently incontinent and apparently mentally ill adult with an addiction problem, and preparing their meals and making sure they eat, isn't a cleaning/housekeeping job.

This women is at risk please advise your mum to let social services know. She's also putting herself in a really dodgy position by doing a job she has no experience in or proper equipment. She has no idea about this woman's medical history. What if she has an infectious illness? I wouldn't trust the family to tell her. The family are cutting corners.

I routinely had to do this kind of
Caring and cleaning in a minimum wage, lone working carer job. It was horrible and I left(that lady has now been assessed as needing 2-1 care due to her behaviours) I might have stayed if it was paid £20 an hour though because that's double what I was paid.

However, it's really not the job your mum signed up to do and she can just tell the family it's not working and their mum needs a carer or support worker. It will only
get worse.

Sadly, from our experience of an alcoholic parent, unless they say they want and need help from Occupational Health or social services, they won't get any.

I think it would be best for your mum to speak to her clients daughter about the situation and how it isn't what was advertised. I imagine they have been through a lot of cleaners, who have all left for the reason your mum is now discovering.