To be upset that ‘autistic’ is used as an insult?

[ElleMD80]

I am a member of a forum in my home country and by and large it was decent. Plenty of variety in topics, could be funny, could be serious and for a huge introvert like me it meant some social contact. I am also mum to two boys with ASS.
I rarely now contribute anymore because I noticed that ‘that’s so autistic’ or ‘you autist’ and ‘omg how autistic of me’ were used quite frequently. I did explain that I found it not ok because my kids and people like them are not ‘an insult’. The reply I got most was ‘but it’s a spectrum, we don’t specifically mean yóúr kids’. To me, though, it’s like when people would say ‘that is so gay’ which we don’t (or should not) do anymore either. I am not a linguistic prude, I have a dark sense of humour but this just feels not ok? Or am I being overly touchy?

Yanbu but I've never heard anyone in public or wider circles use it as a joke like that? We do in this house but that's because we're all ND and playing autistic top trumps. It gets us through the long days

Our main language is Dutch (Flemish) and here it is definitely part of language since a few years. There is a similar habit of saying ‘mongool’ (which is another word for Down’s Syndrome) and really, that is so not ok either. Imo anyway. I do look at it differently if the person actually is ND, I make a ton of jokes about my Borderline and Depression too. It comes from a different place, though, with us. (To me anyway?)

I've seen it used as an insult quite a bit online (also the utterly awful "I guess I have a touch of the -tism"). I won't lie - it does jar me every time I read it as an insult, as an autistic woman and mum to at least one and probably two autistic kids.

However the behaviour of some prats online who use their "self diagnosed autism" to behave like utter internet arseholes has fuelled it a lot. It's kind of becoming like a "Karen" type insult and I bloody hate it.

Yes.

Whenever a poster says a family member is rude/aggressive/ wrecks the house etc etc someone will always say maybe it is Autism.

Maybe the family member is just abusive.

As someone with teens I can confirm that teens do use this as an insult. (Obviously I've told my teens never to say it.)

I’ve noticed that it’s more of a friendly insult rather than being out and out offensive, and alongside there seems to be more acceptance of autism. DS’s friends are so much more open about it, and will talk freely about their own assessments.

My autistic dc always felt that ADHD was far more accepted than ASD because it could be laughed about and joked about, where ASD never was. As much as “touch of the tism” may grate, being joked about in a friendly way does seem to allow my children to be more open about themselves.

Of course if it’s being used maliciously it’s not ok, but the way I’ve seen it, and my children experience it, it weirdly seems to be helping.

I've never heard it used as in insult. If someone is autistic, sometimes a behaviour is aptly described as autistic. Only good natured though. I've told my husband, "That was very autistic of you," with a smile before. Usually when he's taking some very literally. You'd probably have to be there.

I've never heard it used as an insult fortunately

There is a similar habit of saying ‘mongool’ (which is another word for Down’s Syndrome)

Interestingly it was Down himself who used the term "mongoloid" and it was only years later that it was renamed in his honour after pressure from the Mongolian governement, among others.

"Mongol" isn't offensive in every context of course, the ten million ethnic Mongols would probably be hurt if you suggested otherwise. Mongol is a race, as opposed to Mongolian which is a nationality.

Dutch is my first language too and i recognize that people often refer to things like “that’s autistic” while they actually mean “not very socially acceptable “. Also when you see someone tidying “Oh he is so OCD”. Or someone just being busy “So very ADHD”… i don’t think they were mend as actual insults … they are more like an inflation of the terms. I do understand you find it insulting though.
I have a friend who works with diagnosed kids and she does this all the time, I really think it is unprofessional.

I’ve heard MPs in Parliament use it as derogatory term to other MPs including David Cameron when PM and George Osborne called Gordon Brown ‘faintly autistic’. I don’t buy the friendly insult line. Tell people to replace ‘autistic’ with ‘black’ or ‘gay’ in the sentence. If you wouldn’t say that out loud in public it’s not ok to use autistic in that context.

I’m guessing Op meant mongo not mongool. It’s mongo that’s used as an insult these days sadly.

My teen ds and his peers ds do not and would not ever use that as an insult. 2 of his friends are clever, bright and funny. They also happen to both have Autism. I also work with children with additional needs. My son knows better.

I assume the double o is the Dutch spelling.

It's becoming the new 'retard' isn't it? People will seriously use anything as an insult, need to grow up a bit and realise it's not a joke.

Agree with this. Literally any time someone posts on here about unpleasant behaviour they always get a "he/she's probably autistic" armchair diagnosis. I think these people are trying to be kind or understanding but dont they realise how bloody offensive it is to attribute nasty behaviour with autism all the time?

Down was a racist ableist shit who thought White people were superior to other races and that people with Down's syndrome were regressions who had de-evolved back to the level of Asian (or Mongoloid) people. Am kind of amazed we still use his name for people with an extra chromosome.

Completely agree with you on using autistic as an insult. It's not ok.

I work in a secondary school and have heard kids use "autistic" as an insult, usually to signal that they think the subject has said or done something stupid. I challenge it every time I hear it but a lot of staff don't unfortunately.

I think it was bound to catch on into slang parlance. A lot of common insults were once medical terms for a certain set of behaviours or level of intelligence and unlike say 20 years ago everybody has heard of autism now. But yes, like those other words, it is unkind and still fresh enough to be jarring.

Sorry @MNHQ I thought those words I used as examples might get censored and I am thankful and happy they did.
Because they are horrible words. It’s revolting how people pick up on a word to become an insult and that word is usually based on a disability or medical term.

Yep. I work with people with Intellectual Disabilities and even when you read papers from not massively long ago some of the terminology used can be pretty jarring to modern eyes.

I do, as an autistic clinician, sometimes point out that behaviours that have colleagues scratching their heads trying to figure out what's going on behind them, the "perfect autistic logic" going on in some client's thought processes and behaviour - that's about as far as I go with it. Sometimes it bemuses me why my colleagues are baffled by something that makes perfect bloody sense to me! (and vice versa at times - which is why my team works so well).

Yes!

Tactless and rude means tactless and rude; nothing else. Anyone can be this.

Nothing to do with Autism or any other Disability.

I seriously doubt the people on OPs forum are talking about people.from Mongolia.

I have heard the word Cretin used as an insult. I think it's some kind of growth deformity (like Dwarfism?)