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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’ve finally won this ?

2 replies

Thetroublemaker · 06/07/2023 22:19

Long history of mum issues to be fair.
don’t read if you’re not interested in trans generational social elevation…
born early 80’s to middle class parents , we went to Disney, we flew concord . We also woke up in the small hours to a carpet of broken glass, we had police men take us out of our house and sit tirelessly ringing for family to collect us. We’d then be returned to our lovely big house as soon as Cunt and Cuntella had sobered up enough for us to go home. We went home. We survived. We lived through some horror to be fair she regularly would try to stab him and would also bash us. When they eventually agreed to divorce it was following an incident whereby a neighbour ( my mum was shagging) nearly bled to death on our porch… oh they did drama in the village. Anyway, after years of living with my mother who had a clear personality disorder , who used to punch us in the face and give us bloody noses or attack us with kitchen utensils I left, I ran away, she actually tried to kill me one night, I’d never so much as fought back or blocked her punches but she tried to strangle me . And as a young teenage girl with no means to support herself other than prostitution and I did , 2 years on the streets, I had to flee our area at 20 yrs old and start in the country . And I did. I raised 1 child of my own and two step kids for 12 years. But he could never let me go, he was so controlling so I eventually took my child and left. Now my child is an adult and a very happy and successful person. I raised my child really well, I then found a good man, we had a child, he is my daughters best friend and dad and won’t let her drive anywhere distant without checking her car, the son we had together is a happy and gorgeous boy. In the mean time , I’ve overcome my PTSD and GAD to the extent that I’m fully functional now. I have a first class degree and I’m about to start my PhD . She’s always on my case, trying to insert herself into our lives , There’s obviously layers of psychological mess underlying all this but , If I decide not to speak to her, or if I only do on very measured and controlled basis it’s just me being in control now right?

OP posts:
geekone · 06/07/2023 22:23

Don’t do it. Don’t talk to her. Your life is good don’t jeopardise that.
sorry you went through so much.

Thetroublemaker · 06/07/2023 22:35

geekone · 06/07/2023 22:23

Don’t do it. Don’t talk to her. Your life is good don’t jeopardise that.
sorry you went through so much.

I’ve , to some extent been in touch with her most of my life. I dont know how she does it , all her kids speak to her. She used to play the DV card and make out our dads were abusive, I didn’t speak to my dad for 15 years. I later got in touch with him and between his behaviour and my friendship with his ex wife ( my step mother) I realised that this man has never hurt a fly. As much as my stepmum was pissed with him for financial issues he’d never so much as raised his voice to her, let alone his hand. He’s been back in my life for 7 years now and all he does is try and be present for the kids and he’s been so kind and supportive to me. I’m so angry for being misled about him for so long. Also my stepmum is lovely and we get on so well, even though they’re divorced now my half sister and I are best friends and my stepmum is still so supportive of me, it’s such a different story to what I was sold as a child. I can’t believe I lived the way I did, fought for my life when my dad would have helped me. I feel like my mum wanted me to suffer rather than be loved by them. It feels so toxic tbh x

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