How to avoid passing emotional eating issues onto DC

[Nojumpingorrunning]

I have serious issues with emotional eating, binging when it gets bad and engaged in a constant and draining battle with myself at best

I want to save my DC from this

What do I need to do with regards to their eating habits and behaviours to help them develop a healthy relationship with food? What behaviours do I need to model / avoid? I’m already realising now they are both over 2 they are starting to notice what I eat 😕

I might not be the best person to advIse on this as I have had an eating disorder on and off for a lot longer than my kids have been around. I have tried to model a balanced diet, nothing out of bounds and nothing having more value than anything else.

We have looked at age appropriate books as they got older (amongst many other factual books as that was what mine were into) about how all of the different kinds of building blocks are used in the body and the uses each of them have.

I think my biggest thing is I try to make sure that I don’t use language around them that makes them feel like eating anything is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but more of an ‘everything in moderation’ thing. I am sure I haven’t always got it right and I think I actually find it harder to hide when I am finding it difficult to eat than when I am eating too much (as most of that happens once they are in bed).

Thanks @smileattherain - I am guilty of attributing things as good or bad. 4 year old constantly asking if things have sugar in as that’s bad. Oh dear.

I’d drop good/bad and using words like “treat” and rewarding them with food straight away. Avoid any moral judgement of food.

I've made a conscious effort not to reward or distract / comfort then with food as soon as possible. So prizes are books / days out / choosing an activity rather than meals / ice cream etc.

If they are sad I try not to offer food as a comfort.

It's realllly hard.

I try to use 'bad for your teeth' as a get out for sugar. And explaining how everything is fine in little bits but not to have too much

So if you are out for the day would you still for example go for an ice cream as a ‘treat’?

No. Just if you’re out “would you like an ice cream?” Doesn’t need to be a treat or because they’ve been good

Avoid using food as a babysitter to keep them 'occupied'.

There are plenty of other ways to occupy children. Using food just teaches them to associate eating with relieving boredom.

I was always talking about my struggles with weight and the latest diet.
My kids grew up with this and one teen Dd now has a serious eating disorder.
I so wish I could do things differently!
Given the chance I would never let me kids know about the my problems with food and body image.
Good luck - it's just one of many things I'd do differently with hindsight.

We talk a lot about listening to what your body needs.
So your mouth might like the taste of chocolate, but your tummy doesn’t need a lot of it.
We don’t keep biscuits/crisps/fizzy drinks/cake/sweets or choc in the house. Snacks are fruit or peanut butter toast.

Treats are a new book, or money to spend in the toy shop.

Thanks for these tips, like the tongue vs tummy sensation and listening to your body

At the table I say things aloud like, "my tummy is happy now, I've had enough" and put my knife and fork down. Or "I've had enough now, I'll put the rest in the fridge for another day". I normalise leaving food on the plate and eating just what your body needs. Saving stuff for another day.

Equally, if my DD asks for 5 oranges in a row and wolfs them down I give them to her with no comment or judgement because I trust her that she is eating what her body needs or she's going through a growth spurt. I try and assist her to listen to her own body.

I try and really keep my DD's (and mine) blood sugar levels stable as I can throughout the day, so that she doesn't fall into a cycle of craving sweet things and then crashing and reaching for junk. I do substantial breakfasts with plenty of protein, two course lunches and two course evening meals and snacks if needed on days we are active. I find if everyone in the family follows the same kind of eating routine it helps. I eat better if I eat when my DD eats, rather than for example having tea after she's gone to bed. I'm more likely to overeat in that instance. Get the whole family into a rhythm and eat together as much as possible.

I buy full fat yoghurt / cream / real butter - things that make you feel full and satisfied with just a small amount. Chuck out anything "lite' or "low fat" because they are often full of sugar and don't lead to a feeling of satisfaction, just more cravings. We baked profiteroles the other day with double cream in and melted dark choc on top. We walked to get the ingredients and it was a nice activity making them together for a couple of hours, and then we ate them over the course of a few days all together as a family. I try not to eat anything "in secret". If I want a treat, we all go out as a family and buy the ingredients. Everyone participates. Cook from scratch as much as possible.