to NOT want to invite fil when we take mil out to tea on mothers day?

[donbean]

I dont want to but dont think that there is any way round it.
He will have to come wont he?
We will end up paying for him and at the mo we are all totally pissed off with him as he has got them into financial difficulty AGAIN with his fuckwit stupidity and fucking selfishness.

He doesn't have to come, No.
You are taking MiL out not him, but it depends on what she wants really, it's her day.

I know if we offered to take MiL out FiL would probably use it as an excuse to watch the racing but I'd have to offer him as well personally.

Such bad feeling towards the man i would rather not have to buy a meal for him,he doesnt deserve it.

I will ask mil what she thinks, but then i dont want to put her in an awkward position iyswim.

normally, he wont budge from his chair. football rules in his head.
however the offer of a free meal out, he wouldnt miss.

we would HAVE to pay for him as they just do not have any money.

really grits me.

Don't know the full story here, but how would you feel in a few years time if your family wanted to take your DH out for lunch and not you? It's probably someing that MIL and DH will have to decide

Could you not surprise MiL?
Ask her to pop round and then take her out?
If he thinks she is just popping round to yours it might make him stay at home.

Also what about your own parents? Are they still around? Are they close by? Maybe you could take just your mum and just his mum, then you could get round it by not inviting your dad iyswim

What does your MIL want?

I am inclined to think it is mother's day so you are allowed to just take the mother.

quint, i would never do to the family what my arse of an fil has done.

We agreed to take my mum and mil out, i just think that he will "expect" to go as well.
I could say that we can only afford my mum and mil couldnt i.
dh wont want to lie about that tho.

donbean say you are taking her shopping then for a cup of tea and scone

he wont want to come then

then when you get back say you changed your mind on the way

I'm with nailpolish, say you're going windowshopping or something then for a cuppa, but take them out for dinner instead.
Also if your Dad isn't going why should he expect to?

FWIW, in the future if my children want to take their dad out for fathers day and not me I'd be fine with it, it would be his day, so I wouldn't worry too much about that side of things.

agre with nai;polish. Say it's a shopping trip, don't mention the meal

hmm, i sound like a right bitch dont i, but this is after years and years of him.

picking up pieces for poor mil.

This time it only happened December so i am a bit angry still. He doesnt know i know btw and i would hate to cause upset, well i never would.
Its just i want to treat her after the shite Christams he has put her thorough again.

TBH it sound slike it wouldn't be a very nice day if he did go so it is just MIL or no one isn't it?

Donbean - I didn;t mean to upset you, as I said I don;t know the full story.

FWIW I agree with Nailpolish, say you're taking her shopping and then change your mind! Just make sure you collect her without DH with you, pick him up on the way out.

Whatever you decide, have a good time

Agree with Naily.