So stressed with job, cried to boss today, Senior manager

[C1239]

I feel pathetic! Work has been stressful for months, I’m in quite a senior post and just lost it today, cried to my manager and admitted I was stressed. Feel so embarrassed now and don’t know what’s going to happen next. Really wish I’d just taken a step back and not let on how stressed I was

Because my manager was saying where improvements need to be made and I need to do more and I just feel I’m doing the best I can hence I got upset and said I’d been feeling stressed because I have due to how hard I’ve been working for months, as well as how hard I know our whole team is working.

YABU to be embarrassed.

Crying is a normal human response and your boss and colleagues would have all cried too because that’s what humans do.

Please stop being so hard on yourself.

My head teacher cried recently and it made a lot of people appreciate him even more because he obviously has been working so hard that one day it got too much and he just had a moment.

I’ve cried because I’ve been so stressed at work too and sometimes other things at home build on top too.

I’m trying to think if there are any colleagues who I’ve not seen cry and I genuinely don’t think there are any.

i hope they may see that you revealed the way many people feel and might even, god forbid, allow them to share that they get stressed, cry, or feel anxious too. We are all human....

Some thing to consider:
• is it just a really hard stressful job? If so, of course you are going to feel overwhelmed every so often

•how do other members of the team find it? Do they report stress too?

•is your manager expecting too much? Perhaps they have targets that they need to push you to meet but actually know it is a lot to ask?

• has anything changed recently in terms of responsibility/staffing etc?

It always really sucks when we are trying our best and someone points out how we can improve. I would have totally cried too.

Ps I manage staff in a really emotionally challenging role. They have all cried in front of me. I have never once taken this as a sign of them not being able to do the job, I take it as a sign of the fact they care, are doing their best and are feeling overwhelmed

Its not. Happens to all of us. He/she will
support you

I totally disagree. Just a natural reaction to stress. I never think less of my managers if they have a moment, it's just a sign for me to check how I can support them more.

Thank you all for your kind messages.

I've cried to my manager, and even my managers manager. They were both incredibly supportive and made changes to help me. One was work related stress, the other was a personal problem (horrendous pregnancy I wasn't coping with).
Please don't be embarrassed

I wonder if you’re my boss! 🤣 I just came to say that at my work we have all cried in my bosses office and usually felt better after. Whatever has got us to that point is shared and then we feel supported so it’s suddenly manageable. Or if it’s a home issue then she gives us a hug. It’s ok to be human.

You should have told him you're just one fucking person and are doing the best and most that you can. He needs to hire an additional person for your team.

I don’t feel supported just feel sad and embarrassed unfortunately!

@C1239

Please don't feel sad & embarrassed.

Almost everyone has been where you are.

I've been in situations where I cried & was supported - I've also been where you, unfortunately, which is not supported.

Tonight, try to go to bed soon with a relaxing book, podcast or watch something easy, if you can.

Tomorrow, do a check on the situation - are your senior managers responding with support and actions?

If not, take some time to itemise the challenges leading to stress. Tell them what you need. Clearly say that you & team is working hard, but it's unsustainable.

Meantime start evaluating your options about staying or leaving.

If you stay, look for where you can take agency around your workload. Step back, let work slide if needed.

If you are going, start preparing a strategy.

Things will get better 💐

Agree with you. I once cried to my then manager about a situation and she said that it meant i care.
these days mental health is a big thing, no one wants stressed employees.

I’ve managed 50 or so people over covid and around 30 of them broke down in tears at some point on me. We have stressful jobs.

Not at all - it shows you care

Oh and my boss cried to me today - no judgement from me, l know how stressed she is.

I just want to leave now but I can’t without another job and there’s not much around in my field, I know this job just isn’t making me happy and I can’t see if changing. Still crying!!

What field are you in? Are there any other positions in your company you could take up or take a step down into?

YANBU for crying. Everybody cries. Everybody has rough times. Everybody gets stressed out and emotional. You’re human, it’s ok to show people you’re human. Doesn’t mean you can’t do the job, just means things are a bit tough right now

Dreading today! Life feels too short to make work make you feel like this.

It is. Get through today. Start making a plan to leave.

If you are certain there's no support forthcoming in work.

Good luck.

I need to try and get through today without handing my notice so I can take a step back and make a plan on my own terms. I also need to hold it together for the rest of my team. I just feel my confidence is shattered, which isn’t a great headspace to be in when looking for jobs.

I do highly stressful jobs and have done for nearly 40 years and have had some pretty dark periods because of it,

It's hard but what I would say is don't let it all hang out with someone from work - partner, personal friends and family are better.

If it is too bad look for another job

Oh don’t worry about it, I have cried angry and overwhelmed tears on managers in the past, and people I manage have cried on me plenty.

You are human. It’s fine.

OP with kindness you are making this way more than it it is (the tears not the job situation). It’s not a big deal. It happens all the time.

If your manager is asking you to do too much, that’s a separate issue. Give yourself time to think about that over the weekend, and tackle that one on Monday, along with possibly a plan for a new job.

But don’t waste another minute worrying about the fact you cried. It’s completely normal and wasting energy worrying about it takes energy from doing useful things that will sort your job out.