To want to raise the alarm on inappropriate boss from many years ago?

[WedTheBed]

When I was younger I got a part time job working at a ‘place’ aimed at children (not wanting to be too outing) I was 15-16 when I started my job there and worked there for a short time. My manager (male 30’s at the time) was very inappropriate with all of the girls that worked there, I think because we were all young we laughed most of it off. But it did get to a point where one of the girls who was a bit older told the manager that if he couldn’t control his thoughts at work he needed to write them in a book rather than telling us/messaging us.

For example:
I was offered a supervisor position quite quickly, but was told to start 30 minutes earlier for.. cuddle time. (I still cringe now) this was meant as a joke though, but still made us feel uncomfortable.

When planning a work gathering, the manager suggested we play ‘hide and seek in the dark’ in the children’s play area.. then assured us he wouldn’t ‘touch us inappropriately’ during the game.. again, cringeworthy.

I have many, many messages from his being inappropriate. Including asking me what I was doing one evening to which I replied along the lines of “having a shower then going to bed with some chocolate and a movie” he replied with something like the lines of “imaging that now. You, the shower covered in chocolate” (or similar)

Mentioning bikini pictures when I went to the beach.

Theres many more, but I don’t tend to revisit the conversation often.

My question is, can anything be done? - I was young at the time and too scared and uncomfortable to do anything. But now I’m older it really plays on my mind that I should have spoke out. But he’s since blocked me on social media, and although if I search his name in my message the conversation will come up, the name cruelly appears as ‘Facebook user’ so even though the evidence is there, his name isn’t actually attached to it.

Do I just drop it, let it go? Or do I speak out.. and if so.. who to?

How many is many?

Is he still there?

No don't drop it. You could phone ACAS today.

As a prelude to what?

OP if you (rightly) have safeguarding concerns, especially if they are still working there, or with children, report it to the police. Not bloody ACAS.

Yes, he owns the business now.

I can’t lie. I’m a little bit nervous to go through with it. Does anyone know what the process will be? I obviously don’t want to destroy the whole business because the place is good, the owner is not.

My question is, can anything be done?

Like what? I think you need to be sure what it is you would like to get out of taking this further. You also need to think is what he did legally punishable.

If he’s still working with minors it might end his career, but if he’s got a long and otherwise unblemished record in the meantime he could shrug that off so easily.

Unfortunately people don’t really like it when people start stirring up old shit, and you could end up with it rebounding on you. Not saying that’s right, just being realistic.

It sounds like you haven’t really come to terms with what happened, tbh I would focus on finding some sort of closure for your own sake rather than trying to get retribution.

How long ago was this?

@Upsizer around 10 years ago.

Also how old was he? Again not looking for excuses but if he was 20 I could quicker put it down to immature behaviour and lack of knowledge of appropriate boundaries and could believed he's changed in the last decade

Omg I'm so sorry, I see you included his age

Definitely creepy and inappropriate

Do you have contact with any of the other girls you worked with? Do you know if it definitely went further? Although I'm sure what he's done can at the very least be classed as grooming

You could drop it, maybe get some counselling to help close the matter in your mind.
Or you could contact the local council where his business is. As it covers children’s activities there must be some sort of licensing process. Send copies of everything to them or to your local Councillor stating your concerns.
You could ask for it to be logged by the police. Don’t think they’d do anything as it was 10 years ago unless it adds to other concerns they’ve received.
Or send all information to SS with your concerns. Up to them what they do with the info.
You could phone NSPCC and ask their advice if you think he’s a risk to children.

It's not right but not sure what you think you can achieve now? It was years ago hes the owner hes not accountable to anyone so no internal parties to raise it to.
How do you know hes not a reformed character now he's aged? You've no evidence he's still at it.

I wouldnt then announce your experience across social media as you could risk yourself in terms of slander/libal. Also it would risk the business and potentially the jobs of existing staff.

As I said not right but not your place after all these years to put it right either

To what end? I’d let it if it were me. I could call out several make colleagues and bosses from over the years. I work in construction where women are rare. To say I have had inappropriate behaviour

From what you've said he was an adult working with children in a place for children. He was making sexual comments / inappropriate comments to children who worked for him (you say you were 15). He's still working in a place for children. If I've understood the facts correctly he is a safeguarding risk to the children he comes into contact with through his work place.
If you want to report this you could report it anonymously through crimestoppers. Anonymous reports can't be used as evidence in a prosecution but can add to other information to inform a bigger picture.
Alternatively you could report non-anonymously directly to the police or ofsted if his workplace is ofsted registered.

If you feel able to, you could call the Police's non-urgent line and pass it on as a possible concern because he works with children.

They can do aa welfare check on thee place and if anyone else ever comes forward, then they have they will have your account on file.

They won't mention your name but it is always best to highlight inappropriate behaviour, especially around children.

Do you feel he's a danger to any current U-18 employees? Or do you think he's a danger to children who are customers of his business?

If it's the latter, does he that he have access to unsupervised children? Eg Is this a place where parents drop off their kids and leave them for a few hours? Or is it somewhere that parents go to with their kids and stay there with them? What age are the kids who go to the place of business?

I can completely understand your concerns, but I think that a man who letches at 16-year-old girls he employs is probably not a danger to, eg, ten-year-olds who are with their parents, so I'm not sure if there's a safeguarding risk there really. There is almost certainly some sort of safeguarding risk to any 15-16 year old girls he currently employs, however.

It’s not a place where parents would leave their children, it’s a family place.

They always employ young girls, always have. I have messages from other girls that have worked there saying the same as me, he even tries to kiss one of them at an outing.

Also, albeit not that relevant but still weird and creepy: He ended up marrying his best friends wife.. after her husband (his best friend) was sentenced to prison for having sex with a minor.. it all just rings alarm bells when I think about it all and how weird it is.

I do think he knows that he did wrong though, as he’s blocked me and given he’s local I do occasionally spot him when out and about and he always looks guilty.