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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To pu out cat in a cattery when he is an outdoors boy.

19 replies

Arcticapes · 06/07/2023 10:45

Really hoping some cat lovers will help me..
I've had our DCat since he was roughly 6 months. We found him in a hedge starving in 2019 and since that day has become a much loved and pampered boy.
Obviously after lockdown he was used to someone always being around and he has gone from being very nervous to a happy chilled out boy.

I now WFH and he comes and goes as he pleases. I am an official door opener. He will not use a cat flap... I have tried and tried.

Going away is an issue so me or my partner have to be here. We really need a holiday and want to book a break at Christmas. Is it cruel to put him in a cattery, maybe starting with 3 days etc? It's making me feel so guilty.
I thought of a cat sitter but he won't use a litter tray and if he is let out I don't know if he will come back in if its a stranger here. He runs away from strangers.

I don't want him outside in the freezing cold thinking he has been abandoned again but putting him in a cattery might totally stress him out.

Any advice would be really appreciated.

OP posts:

MatildaTheCat · 06/07/2023 10:50

You are right he’ll hate the cattery but will at least be safe.

Have you considered moving in small steps towards him accepting the door opening by another person while you are present and gradually getting him used to someone else replacing you?

Or have a car sitter and keep him home having trained him to use the litter tray? There’s probably a way to achieve this.

I recently looked after DS’s cat for three months. She’s the most nervous cat I have ever met and hid from us the entire time. She became nocturnal when she roamed the house freely and I hid food for her to hunt. She was, luckily used to the litter tray.

When they finally returned she practically kept into their arms and went home just fine and untraumatised.

So maybe think of some other options?

ReviewingTheSituation · 06/07/2023 10:54

I put ours in cattery precisely because she is a lover of the outdoors.

Keeping her in at home would make her miserable. She'd run from cat feeders, so wouldn't see anyone/they wouldn't see her)

Letting her come and go at home would be asking for trouble - she would bring in mice (dead and alive), and no-one would ever see her. We would have no idea if she was OK or not (clearly if her food was uneaten that would be a problem, but if she was in trouble/ill/injured somewhere, we'd be stuck).

In a cattery she is in a safe place, with someone keeping an eye on her, and we can be sure she is OK. Yes, she wouldn't be as happy as being at home with us, and yes, she misses the freedom of the great outdoors, but she is totally fine there, and settles straight back in when she comes home (goes rushing out to the garden and spends the next few hrs just going in and out - I assume just because she can!)

For 2 nights (maybe 3) a neighbour would feed her, but we'd still shut her in to make sure she doesn't get up to any mischief! Beyond that, I don't like to overstep the mark (sadly their cat died, so we don't have a reciprocal arrangement any more), so cattery it is.

NotLovingWFH · 06/07/2023 11:01

We have a car who absolutely detests being shut in a cattery but there’s no easy alternative so we give him Zylkene for a few days before and get the cattery to continue while he’s there and so far it’s worked well.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 06/07/2023 11:03

Ours won't cope with a cattery. He stays at home with access to the outside and our neighbour calls in twice a day.

AnnaMagnani · 06/07/2023 11:04

I have an outdoors boy and worried he'd hate the cattery and scream the place down.

He settles in and watches the birds and is perfectly happy.

Meanwhile the majority indoors cat spends it sulking under a blanket but then she pretty much hates everything.

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 06/07/2023 11:07

We have two outdoor cats, but they are fine in catteries - they don’t love it but they are fine. Some catteries have outside “runs” which might be a good compromise if you can find one near you.

SmartHome · 06/07/2023 11:10

I have a very indoors, massively pampered cat and she is not a huge fan of the cattery. We go away 2/3 times a year and she goes in sometimes for up to 2 weeks. The cattery staff (2 different ones) always say she was quite happy and just sits sunbathing the whole time. But when we pick her up she's always pleased to see us and she makes her feelings known when we get back home and storms around complaining for an hour or so when we get back. She's always fine after that though and doesn't seem to suffer any lasting effects.

Lindy2 · 06/07/2023 11:13

My outdoor cat is OK in the cattery. She loves human company so gets more attention at the cattery than if she was at home alone with someone popping in to feed her.

We use a cattery with an enclosed garden space that the cats are allowed into (1 at a time). I always request she gets as much garden time as possible.

Original poster

Arcticapes · 06/07/2023 11:15

Thanks for the replies. Yes I think I'm going to look for a cattery with an outdoor run. I might trial it for just an initial 24hrs stay while I'm here. That way if its a total disaster and he gets really distressed I can go and collect him immediately.

The only time I've managed to keep him in and he used a litter tray was when he was castrated. I was supposed to keep him in for 3 days but after 24hrs and the anesthetic had worn off he was crying constantly to get out.

OP posts:

Wakeywake · 06/07/2023 11:16

We do and it breaks my heart, but there's no other option. He's a total tramp who comes and goes as he wishes. We asked neighbours to feed him once when we went away for 3 days and when we got back he had been sick everywhere, with stress I presume. He's OK in the cattery, but he doesn't love it.

stayathomer · 06/07/2023 11:20

its all about safety op. We just got home in the last few days after our fourth time of people either staying or coming today to look after the cats. It just hasn’t worked. We are definitely going to use the cattery from now on as the cats have disappeared at times, not come home, when left inside torn the place apart etc. definitely using a cattery next time

Notahugger2023 · 06/07/2023 11:22

I think you just have to ignore the guilt based on the options you have as cats can live for 20 years and that’s a long life without a holiday!

Just think, he’s in a much better place then he was, living with a kind person like you?

Our cats are rescue and terrified of strangers, we get a cat sitter who they are now used to as we use her a few times a year. They are litter trained though and stay in.

If I was you, I’d work on the litter training or use the cattery and don’t worry.

Id avoid the 24 hour test if possible though as it’s a lot to put the cat through for a 1 day test. I’m sure the cat will be ok, take bedding and some of your clothes with your scent.

Notahugger2023 · 06/07/2023 11:24

Just to add if you can keep him at home that is better with a trusted cat sitter as all his scents are at home and the scent and sight of other cats can be scary.

I would search around for a good Cattery with lots of space if you have to use one. Some of them have a home set up enclosure for cats. Not just a cage type run.

ReviewingTheSituation · 06/07/2023 11:28

I'd agree with a PP - don't test it for 24hrs. The stress of the journey (x2) and then settling into an unfamiliar place isn't very kind on the cat. They may well hate the cattery for the first 24hrs and then be fine in a couple of days - a 24hr test won't help with that.

I can't imagine any cat loves going to cattery, but it's a trade off for a great life doing what they love for the other 49-50 weeks of the year.

Grandana · 06/07/2023 11:37

Many, many people keep their cats indoors their whole life for their safety. Or they build a catio which gives them fresh air but not the grass under their feet or a real tree to climb. All chosen with love, to give their cats the best life they can.

Ours get the grass, neighbours, trees, insects, freedom 51 weeks of the year and they have to spend 1 week bored and stressed at the cattery. Sounds like an OK deal to me.

Having someone come in doesn't really work for us either, for various reasons, so it has to be a cattery. They are cats, not people, and as soon as he sees you again he will know he's going back home. I wouldn't worry too much about how many days you are away, I'm not sure cats have the same sense of time as we do. As long as he is fed, cleaned out and stimulated a bit he will be fine.

gogomoto · 06/07/2023 11:46

It keeps them safe, just look for one with plenty of space and one nowhere near the dogs if they do other pets

morelippy · 06/07/2023 11:49

Our outdoor boy loaded it so we bought him a Catden, insulated it well and left him. We bought automatic feeders and had a neighbour check daily.

He loved his catden so much he often chose to stay in there rather than come in even when we were at home

SallyWD · 06/07/2023 12:07

My cat would be deeply traumatised by a cattery. Can't you get a cat flap so he can come and go?

Pkhsvd · 06/07/2023 12:11

We’ve always used a cattery for outdoor cats; they don’t love it but their life is pretty cushy so if that’s the only part they hate then I can make peace with that. We actually had cats who loved it at one stage as they got lots of attention and treats so a big part of it is finding a good cattery, they often book up far in advance and some have a minimum stay. I think 2-3 days would be better to start with as one night doesn’t give them enough time to really settle

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