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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how I’m going to get my baby to nap at nursery?

67 replies

Blueskyfordays · 06/07/2023 10:40

Baby has had her settling in sessions at nursery. They showed me the room where they nap, it had a white noise machine on, music on and one of those light machine things.

Now to be fair, DD has always been a brilliant napper, we’re very lucky in that so long as it is dark and relatively quiet, she will go to sleep. We do sometimes put some baby music on for her for her daytime naps but she doesn’t need it, she will sleep without it. She‘s never needed those twinkly/ disco light ball things. We do have one but whenever we’ve put it on for her, she won’t sleep as I think she finds it too bright/ distracting.

I mentioned to her keyworker that she doesn’t sleep very well with those lights machines on and she said ‘oh a few of the other children need it so I’m afraid the lights will have to be on’ fair enough, so the last couple of days I’ve been trying to get her to nap with the light thing on. OMG, she’s just spending hours crying in her cot which she’s never done, ever. She’s getting so upset and overtired, each time, after an hour and a half of trying I’ve given up and turned it off and she’s gone to sleep within minutes.

She starts nursery next week (only for a morning at first, but she will need her morning nap there as she’s not being picked up til 1) and now I’m really worried she’s not going to nap because of that bloody light machine.

I know, I know, hardly a first world problem but I’m wondering if anyone else has had a similar issue and if so, did your baby eventually just get used to things and nap?

Should I keep trying over the next few days and persevere? Trouble is, by the time it’s been an hour and a half, the time for nap is gone if you see what I mean and we’re due to go out or whatever and I also worry about her getting so overtired thah it affects her (brilliant) night sleep 😳

OP posts:

bettymoo212 · 06/07/2023 11:09

Don’t worry about it. She’ll behave completely differently at nursery. I’ve never heard of a child refusing to nap there.

Mine needed to be rocked to sleep until she was 18 months at home. At nursery, she happily took herself over to her floor mat and put her self to sleep.

Just stick with your usual routine at home and let the nursery staff do their thing when she’s there. No need to prepare her in any way. As others have said, nursery staff have magic powers.

toomuchlaundry · 06/07/2023 11:09

Nurseries are magic! DS preferred napping in his pram during a walk (kept me fit) rather than in his cot. Warned nursery napping might be a problem. From day one there he napped happily in the sleep room! And yes to the toddlers all sleeping on mats at the same time - how?!

They are also magic when it comes to food, they will eat all sorts of things that they wouldn’t deign to touch at home

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 06/07/2023 11:10

Nursery will get her to nap. It might be that she’s in a buggy for a bit, it might be they stay with her. It doesn’t really matter what happens at home, they do something different at nursery but they will sleep. They’re doing so much at nursery that they are so tired, plus all the other kids sleep too. Just continue on as you are at home.

DD dropped her morning nap quite quickly after starting nursery and went to one shorter nap. At home it took her a bit longer to drop the morning nap and she still has a longer nap at home than at nursery. All babies are different but most tend to drop the morning nap around 12-15 months and then they’ll drop the other nap altogether. My DD is still napping at 20 months (thankfully) but some around her age are already not napping.

Lonecatwithkitten · 06/07/2023 11:21

Another one saying nurseries are magic my DD would only nap in the pram being pushed I walked miles on maternity leave. She napped at nursery from day one and she also napped in her cot at home after that two. I could have kissed them all for giving se time to rest at the weekends.

Danikm151 · 06/07/2023 11:22

I was tempted to get a job at a nursery just so they can teach me the spell they use to get the children to nap 😂 it’s witchcraft

baby will be fine - nap routines change anyway 🙂

Peony654 · 06/07/2023 11:23

Honestly - not your problem, stop worrying. Nurseries seem to have magic ways to get kids to sleep.

ezzysmom · 06/07/2023 11:29

You're worrying before there's even a problem.

They all sleep at nursery. It's magic. They just do. Just wait and you'll see.

ReachForTheMars · 06/07/2023 11:31

TrixieFatell · 06/07/2023 10:47

My eldest was a terrible napper and would only nap at home if she was on me. However at nursery she would happily lie in the crib and sleep all by herself. I found she behaved differently there and was absolutely fine.

I'd stop changing her nap at home, the nursery will be used to dealing with different ways of napping and will work something out.

So relatable!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 06/07/2023 11:38

Let nursery deal with it.

My twins napped twice a day until they were at least 2, they still had a nap when they were 4! It's changeable with the child. Their brother dropped naps altogether before 2

They were also in nursery from 8 months.

Sissynova · 06/07/2023 11:43

@Blueskyfordays She’s 10 months. Oh really, I thought they didn’t drop to 1 nap until they were like 18 months (shows how little I know about babies, lol) maybe she won’t be having her morning nap for much longer then. I can’t imagine her going til 12 without it, she gets tired and grumpy by 10am atm 😳

They tend to go to 1 nap slightly earlier when they attend nursery as it is easier for the nursery and all the kids really for them all to be on the same schedule.

Sissynova · 06/07/2023 11:44

Slightly earlier than they usually would I meant to say. All the babies I know from mat leave were doing 2 naps until they went to nursery between 10-13 months. They then did 2 naps while they adjusted to the setting and then were quickly moved to 1.
They will get better quality sleep if they sleep when everyone else is and it is nice and quiet.

RoseBucket · 06/07/2023 11:52

They are taking in so much they just kind of fall asleep to recharge and the noise becomes normal compared to a relatively quieter home environment.

Toottooot · 06/07/2023 11:53

My child was an incredible napper at home but point blank refused at nursery. Days off and weekends would still take their normal naps - did them zero harm whatsoever.

headcheffer · 06/07/2023 11:55

Honestly, carry on as you are at home. Nursery and DD will find their own rhythm soon enough. Mine didn't sleep the first week or so, but soon enough they were absolutely fine. You'll be stunned as they get older, and you struggle to get them to nap unless you're in a car or something... whereas at nursery they just get their little sleep mat out with everyone else and have a solid 1.5 hours on the floor 🤣

Seasonofthewitch83 · 06/07/2023 11:55

Another one here to say 'It will be fine!'

DD was fed to sleep, contact nap and bed share. She didn't even fall asleep in a pram.

Day 1 they send me a picture of her fast asleep.

She sleeps so much better at nursery, and whilst I found it really difficult to transition away from fed to sleep co-sleeping as she got older, I was shocked to be told at nursery she took herself off to her mat and went to sleep by herself!

One of the reasons I chose my nursery was during a settling session over nap time I saw a group of workers sat on the floor holding, rocking, and patting bums to those who needed it. They are truly sleep magicians!

PalepinkandAberrysmoothie · 06/07/2023 11:59

I had to take my dd out of nursery. She started at 18 and we took her out at 2 as she didn’t settle and wouldn’t nap or eat there but she was then diagnosed with autism. Everyone else I know had dc who settled within a few weeks and adapted and thrived i think we were just really unlucky

PalepinkandAberrysmoothie · 06/07/2023 11:59

*18 m

TheOrigRights · 06/07/2023 12:00

Nurseries are magic places

The first 4 words in the first response sums it up!

Babies soon learn what's home and what's nursery and adjust accordingly.

Mumtothreegirlies · 06/07/2023 12:23

I’ve worked in nurseries and honestly she’ll learnt to self sooth and shut off everything around her. The nursery staff will hand her over smile and tell you everything was fine and how she was very happy etc and you’ll be none the wiser so I wouldn’t worry. We had babies who would be with us 7am-7pm 5 days a week and the staff would muddle through the day and the babies would just get on with their own thing. The main thing she’s fed and watched enough to keep her safe. How she feels emotionally and what goes on with her behaviour when you’re not there doesn’t matter because it won’t be your problem when she’s attending :)

concertgoer · 06/07/2023 12:26

Namechange13101 · 06/07/2023 10:46

Nurseries are magic places and they seem to have a knack for making even the most reluctant sleepers sleep. My DD and DS only ever napped at home in cots or the buggy in the dark but at nursery happily napped on mats on the floor with it only slightly dimmed. So I wouldn't change your routine at home to match the nursery one. Your DD will adapt to the nursery routine :-)

This exactly!!

DistantSkye · 06/07/2023 12:31

Agree with what everyone else has said, just let nursery do their thing!
DC1 went to a childminder from a bit from 8 months - as she had other mindees and was often out and about at nap time, DC had to just fit in with that and nap wherever!
With DC2 I was still feeding to sleep when she started nursery but they managed to get her to nap somehow.
Their schedules change quickly anyway and others have said you might not find she keeps 2 naps a day for long anyway. It's been a while so I can't remember too vividly but mine were definitely not on 2 naps a day at 1 and had pretty much dropped a nap before 2.

MaryShelley1818 · 06/07/2023 12:32

DD hasn't napped at nursery since she turned 1yr old. DS would still have a 2-3hr afternoon nap at 3yr old.
Both had to contact nap on top of me at home but would lie on the mats and nap in a loud room at nursery.

Honestly don't worry, they all just find their own routine.

MALJA · 06/07/2023 12:38

You are not being unreasonable to worry & try and adapt your child. We all worry and try and solve problems before they have arisen!

but as some people have said! Nursery teachers are actual magicians & your baby will adapt to their routine and still be able to follow the routine you have at home!

My little boy’s nursery have him eating all kinds of lovely exciting foods which at home he wouldn’t touch with a 10ft barge pole!

normal to worry but honestly it will all work out!

Perfect28 · 06/07/2023 12:43

You're not, they are. Don't worry about it!

Parker231 · 06/07/2023 12:43

Nurseries are miracle workers - your DC will very quickly adapt happily to any new routine. Nurseries are the experts! We also followed their approach to potty training

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