Husband never contacts me when I am away

[MumCat2020]

So my DH is lazy with communication. He won't txt people, not even friends or family. He has ignored birthday msgs, phone calls etc. People he loves, he will never see because he doesn't bother to msg them. I am away on a course and yet again, he can't be bothered to msg me. I'll send 4 msgs and get a 2 word reply. He won't call. He will only msg to ask where shoes are, or what time dance class is.
It makes me rage every time. I feel unloved, like he isn't thinking about me and I'm not worth his time. I last a few days trying hard, then I get cross. That makes no difference.
We are really struggling with our relationship atm, and I wonder why I am fighting to sort it out when he won't even drop me a text, or a daily call.

You know what he’s like? So I’d try to detach and not take it personally.

I agree with previous poster. If this was new behaviour, or he treated you differently to everyone else, then that would be different.

Since it isn't that, I think you may have to learn how to deal with it.

Have you told him you want to be contacted? When I’m away, I’m focused on whatever I’m away to do. You say your husband is like this with everyone, so presumably you’ve come to terms with it as an (unattractive but consistent) aspect of his personality?

Agree with above posters. If he's always been like this with everyone he's not going to change. The question is, is the relationship worth saving in other respects?

Me and my partner are like this, except we both do it so it works.

Thanks for the replies. He does know that it upsets me. I guess I see it as deliberate and cruel. He probably just sees it as him being him. So it's up to me to look at it in the wider context of our relationship and decide if I am happy or not. But if I stay, then I guess I have to accept this.
Definitely food for thought

I don't contact DP when he's away generally, unless I've got something to tell him about the kids. He calls once a day, twice if he can, but I know he's working or networking or whatever and don't want him to feel pressured to be in regular contact.

I’m not much of a texter when I’m away. If it’s only a few days does it really matter? You’ll see him again really soon. I don’t always think of my dp every second I’m away. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him though

Man who has never been the best at keeping in contact with people who are away is bad at keeping in contact with you while you're away ... Why are you expecting anything else?

You really see it as deliberate and cruel? Then you need to split up.
I think you sound rather needy but surely these are the sort of things that come up way before you marry.
You call him lazy in his communication. I'm not sure what you mean by that. Could it be that he just doesn't feel that it's necessary. You clearly do, but you're unreasonable to expect that he would call/text you just because you say you want him to. You're presuming it's minimum effort/hassle for him to call you. It's not. It's suffocating and manipulative to be asked. I'd say you both want different things out of the relationship and you're incompatible, in this area at least. If you're marriage is already in trouble think what outcome you want baring in mind you can't change other people.

with us, the onus is on the person who is away from home to get in touch. Does he answer if you call?

My DH is the opposite. I get messages moaning about stuff that I can't deal with as I am not there, and just end up worrying about. I have had to tell him to stop doing it as it's spoiling my time away. So I it's a small win for me when I don't get a message.

If this is a trait and it's not aimed at you personally, then don't take it personally.

I mean, if he's like that with everyone then it's clearly not personal. It's just who he is.

Personally it wouldn't bother me. I work away 2-3 weeks a year and never really contact DH (or vice versa) unless needed.

@MumCat2020

maybe he has anxiety with calls & texting he will say the wrong thing

what’s he like with everyone side ?