To be annoyed at partner for this?

[smartiestubes]

Me and my partner recently moved in together and we’re super happy.

He snores fairly loudly, and in the week he will always make sure I’m asleep first so he doesn’t keep me up bless him. He will read until I’ve nodded off, and then go to sleep.

He said he doesn’t want me to feel any pressure to go to sleep earlier, but he said I’ve been going to bed later and later and he’s been really tired.
I felt bad so last night I went to sleep at 11 (which is early for us!) even though I wasn’t very tired.

I woke up at 12:30 and he’s still reading, saying he “got really into the book”. I went to sleep early for him, and yet he stayed up late anyway.

I know this isn’t a big problem at all but am I right in being a little annoyed??

I would remind him you are not responsible for him staying up late reading. If he says but you went to be late, just repeat then don’t read all night.

Has he tried getting help for his snoring? That would be better than him staying up and waiting for you to fall asleep.

I think 11pm is a reasonable bedtime, do you not have work in the morning?

Honestly seperate bedrooms if you can. I know it’s unromantic but sleep is SOOO important. My H snores so loud and even if I go to sleep first I will still get woken in the night

I can see why you're annoyed but you need to let it go - if he wants to stay up reading a book late then fine. But you should also be going to bed when you want. It is going to be about compromise but also learning to let one off occurances go - otherwise you'll be falling out all the time. If he's doing it every night then yeah I think its worth saying something.

It's tricky with a snorer. Has he seen a doctor? Do you have earplugs? They dampen it a bit. Also if he vibrates the bed with his snoring consider seperate mattresses and duvet covers. Perhaps seperate rooms. My DH lost weight and his snoring improved dramatically.

Ah, you're trying to work around each other. My DH snores like a jackhammer and if I've had wine, so do I.

DeepSleep earplugs are great, get him a nasal spray and some nose strips, and if it doesn't help, get hom to a doctor.

We have the option of sleeping separately so quote often we will. It doesn't have a detrimental effect on our relationship, especially if we're going to bed or waking up at vastly different times. The morning cuddle is that much sweeter when you can climb in together after a peaceful and wonderful sleep starfishing in your own bed with no snoring or DH like an oven, often thrashing around.

Trust me.

Yeah he’s getting help. He’s waiting to hear back from the respiratory team and a referral to a sleep clinic, it’s just such a long wait! In the meantime he uses all the usual remedies but work a limited amount.
I’m all for sleeping separately but as we moved in fairly recently I just want to be able to cuddle and go to sleep at the same time!

He explained this morning that he wants to make sure I’m completely asleep and doesn’t want to wake me up when I’ve only just dropped off. He apologised for making it look insensitive and didn’t mean to upset me

I’m the snorer in our relationship. Often DP will wake me up to ask me to change positions. Sleeping on back is a no go! Also invest in some ear plugs I’ve tried nasal strips and they do absolutely nothing

oP he sounds lovely and really is trying to avoid disturbing you. I think yabu to be cross with him for reading. Glad he is seeking help

Separate rooms. It's saved our marriage!

We tried ALL anti snoring methods. He went to the GP and had lots of tests. Apparently he just has a loose palate! He could have surgery, but there's only a 50/50 chance it'd work, and he could end up with other issues as a result of the surgery...mainly to do with eating.

So we just decided on separate rooms for sleep. I NEED my sleep, I cannot function without a solid 6-8hrs undisturbed.

Even when we go to hotels we have to do separate rooms. The last time we shared a hotel room was the night before my grandmother's funeral and I was a wreck trying to get through that on no sleep. That was the point I said it was separate rooms or divorce.

This