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Original poster

Holiday disagreement with DP

35 replies

Sereeen · 05/07/2023 22:26

i realise that there are worse problems but I need to get this off my chest instead of continuing to argue this with DP until it gets blown out of proportion.

We are planning a short 3-day holiday abroad. 3 days only because he’s a workaholic and doesn’t want to take more time off. I found something that is within this time frame and what we agreed to spend. He really liked it initially but when he saw that the return flights would only get us back home around midnight, he refused because he’d be too tired to work the next day. Getting earlier flights (what he suggested instead) back would mean giving up half a day of our already short holiday, and the price difference - £520 in total with the late flight vs £750 with the early flight.

I expressed that I am not happy and the atmosphere is tense now. I just stopped short of calling the whole thing off. Surely one night of bad sleep / one day at work being tired is manageable? (he’s not a doctor or anything where being tired would cause a risk).

OP posts:
UndercoverCop · 05/07/2023 22:28

Book yourself for five nights and tell him he's free to leave when he wants

BakedTattie · 05/07/2023 22:28

I’d go on my own and leave the ‘d’p at home to work his wee socks off.

Lizzt2007 · 05/07/2023 22:29

He can go on the early flight, you enjoy the rest of the day and get your later flight. Alternatively go without him if he's only willing to begrudge you three measly days for a trip because he won't take time of work and then wants to cut short the last day because of work !

Groutyonehereagain · 05/07/2023 22:29

Fuck that @Sereeen , I’d want a lot more than three days holiday. He’s not a keeper, as you don’t share the same dreams, ideas, outlook etc. Sorry love. 💐

Nanny0gg · 05/07/2023 22:30

Go with a friend

Original poster
Sereeen · 05/07/2023 22:30

BakedTattie · 05/07/2023 22:28

I’d go on my own and leave the ‘d’p at home to work his wee socks off.

😁 I like it!

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 05/07/2023 22:31

Oh, just dump him, and find a boyfriend who actually wants to spend time with you.

Mrsjayy · 05/07/2023 22:31

UndercoverCop · 05/07/2023 22:28

Book yourself for five nights and tell him he's free to leave when he wants

This I'd hate to go abroad for 3 days why are you putting up with this nonsense !

TomatoSandwiches · 05/07/2023 22:31

2 + 1/2 days? What's the point?!

I'd do as pp mentioned book myself for a week and he can do what he likes.

NewIdeasToday · 05/07/2023 22:31

By the time you take all the travel time out the equation that’s hardly a holiday. At best it’s a mini-break!

I’d book for a week and tell him he can book his own flights. Ridiculous!

BeautifulSloth · 05/07/2023 22:31

Go without him. Have fun on your own or go with friends. You have different priories and they don't seem compatible for an enjoyable holiday togther.

BiscuitsandPuffin · 05/07/2023 22:32

Screw that. Have a proper holiday. You'll get a cheaper return flight midweek anyway.

StJulian2023 · 05/07/2023 22:32

Really not worth the hassle to go abroad for such a short trip. Go with someone fun instead.

BackupFail · 05/07/2023 22:32

HeddaGarbled · 05/07/2023 22:31

Oh, just dump him, and find a boyfriend who actually wants to spend time with you.

This... it won't get any better

Heronwatcher · 05/07/2023 22:35

He sounds dreadful. I mean seriously who can’t take more than 3 days off in this day an age? If he must work then doesn’t he have a blackberry? Even the prime minister takes a couple of weeks.

I agree with the others, just go on your own and tell him he can join you if he wants, or not. Don’t start pandering to this bollocks.

And yes, I’ve done my reasonably important job on far less sleep (kids under 10).

BravoMyDear · 05/07/2023 22:36

HeddaGarbled · 05/07/2023 22:31

Oh, just dump him, and find a boyfriend who actually wants to spend time with you.

This!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/07/2023 22:37

There is so much wrong with this relationship.

He is workaholic and will only take 3 days off at a time
He wont compromise
You cant talk things through without there being an atmosphere
He can't cope with one late night

Never consider having kids with this man

Mrsjayy · 05/07/2023 22:38

3 day abroad isn't really 3 actual days by the time you check in sit about the airport get to your destination half a day has gone then you have the same going home, so it's 1 full day . Bugger that !

sandyhappypeople · 05/07/2023 22:38

What time does he have to get up?

Original poster
Sereeen · 05/07/2023 22:39

Sorry, bit of drip feed: we went on a 1-week holiday earlier this year already to visit family abroad. He’s freelance so could take days off as he likes, but takes far less time off than I do…2.5 weeks per year approx, I take 4-5 weeks. It’s more the argument about the disturbed sleep than the 3 days that bother me.

OP posts:
Grumpy101 · 05/07/2023 22:40

Why doesn't he come back by himself and you stay for a few more days?

I live for holidays so wouldn't put up with him but you have decided to do so so you need to find a compromise that also works for you. At this point he is dictating all the terms.

LittlePoBeep · 05/07/2023 22:42

UndercoverCop · 05/07/2023 22:28

Book yourself for five nights and tell him he's free to leave when he wants

This. Or better still, book a week and leave him at home!

Growlybear83 · 05/07/2023 22:47

Sereeen · 05/07/2023 22:39

Sorry, bit of drip feed: we went on a 1-week holiday earlier this year already to visit family abroad. He’s freelance so could take days off as he likes, but takes far less time off than I do…2.5 weeks per year approx, I take 4-5 weeks. It’s more the argument about the disturbed sleep than the 3 days that bother me.

I agree, OP. If you get home at midnight, he's hardly going to be sleep deprived and unable to function the next day. So many people seem to get really hung up on getting to bed very early and getting their eight hours sleep- it really won't hurt him to have a night with five or six hours sleep!

TeaKitten · 05/07/2023 22:51

Sereeen · 05/07/2023 22:39

Sorry, bit of drip feed: we went on a 1-week holiday earlier this year already to visit family abroad. He’s freelance so could take days off as he likes, but takes far less time off than I do…2.5 weeks per year approx, I take 4-5 weeks. It’s more the argument about the disturbed sleep than the 3 days that bother me.

So if he’s freelance he could just not plan anything early in the morning. He’d actually just rather be at work than with you, I’d be throwing him back.

HisNibs · 05/07/2023 22:53

BravoMyDear · 05/07/2023 22:36

This!

Show quote history

Seconded! What's the point of someone who values time working more than being with you?