It’s been like this for years now.
He was the main breadwinner for many years but this year I’ve had a big promotion at work and now earn about 20k more than him a year.
When he was the bigger earner I was still working hard but earning less, and doing all the housework, gardening, cooking, food shop and all other family/kids admin on top.
Now I’m earning more he does none of that (apart from the school run). Today I was working solidly all day whilst the kids were at school and he was just playing video games and watching telly at home. I know this because I was WFH. He says he wasn’t feeling well but he was well enough to order a takeaway kebab and eat the entire thing this evening.
When I said it was out of order he flew off the handle and said he was the main breadwinner for years and now it’s my turn. I said I agreed but that when he was earning more, I spent a lot of time doing household stuff and improving the garden, not just lying in bed all day.
He says a lot of that stuff isn’t essential (like weeding the garden he says isn’t needed, whereas to me it’s important for the kids to have a nice garden that isn’t just overgrown and full of weeds).
We have very little affection between us these days - he thinks I’m cold. I’m only that way because whenever I challenge him on any of the behaviour above he completely flies off the handle, accusing me of being nasty and a horrible person. It doesn’t exactly make me feel affectionate towards him. I wish I had a partner who was empathetic and willing to chat things through and be open, but he’s just impossible to talk to.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.