Goddaughter moving in for first year

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My husband and I have one child, a son, he is 18 and due to start university after summer. We live in London, where he intends to study so will be staying at home, at least for first year.
Our family are particularly close to another family, they live in the Lakes, are the Godparents to our son and we are the Godparents of their eldest daughter. Every summer my son spends the middle two weeks of the holidays with them, an opportunity to appreciate the beauty of where they live. Our goddaughter tends to visit for a week in April and again for October half-term, sometimes with her sister but mostly without. This set-up began when our son and goddaughter started secondary school, so 7 years ago.
We know our goddaughter to be a lovely, friendly and sweet girl. She too is to start university in London come the Autumn.
During the weekend just passed we spent some time with the family, we attended a wedding together then had them for dinner on Sunday evening. A conversation took place regarding the accommodation of our Goddaughter come Autumn, currently Halls are the most likely choice, though her parents are far from fond of this. She is to attend the same university as our son, as such we spoke of how good it will be for them both to have a familiar face when they begin.
Since they left on Monday, my son has spoke of how we should consider offering our guest room to our goddaughter, and allow her to reside with us for the first year of her course. They are close friends and have much in common so I'm sure that is why he is suggesting rather than a true concern of her wellbeing.
I mentioned to my goddaughters mother the suggestion and she said that if it were to be offered they would be keen to accept if our goddaughter so wished, but did no accept the offer and told us to feel no pressure in making it.
My husband is not certain we should make the offer, although the guest room is seldom used by anyone other than our goddaughter it is good to know we have it available and he thinks it inevitable that some level of relationship would develop between our son and goddaughter, romantic or otherwise. I on the other hand think that if that were going to happen, it either already has during their weeks spent with one and other over the last 2 years or will happen regardless as they will still see a great amount of the other. I also don't see why it should be impossible that they are should remain just friends.
Am I being unreasonable to think we should go ahead and make the offer? Ask of a small amount of money monthly to cover board but do it more so to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our Goddaughter?

Has anyone asked the girl what she wants to do?

Why shouldnt your son and god daughter be in a relationship if they wish it?

For me, the question would be more, do you want her living with you in term time? If yes, by all means offer it. If no, don't. I don't see what the chance of a relationship between son and goddaughter has to do with it.

Why shouldnt your son and god daughter be in a relationship if they wish it?

They will or won't, as they see fit. The issue is probably more around them perhaps starting a relationship and then it finishing acrimoniously, which would make life rather awkward all round if she was living in their house ...

It sounds to me like your DH is concerned that if they get together romantically, things might go wrong, and then there will be an awful atmosphere, causing your friends to get upset, because their DD will effectively be stuck living with you when she's unhappy. So I think you should be honest with the parents, and say that your DH is concerned that if you go ahead with the offer, a romantic relationship might develop between your DS and their DD, and what would happen if things then went pear shaped. See what the mother says OP. If they're good friends, which they clearly are, they will understand and 4 heads in making a decision like this, is bound to be better than 2. If I've misunderstood his reasoning, then I apologise.

Surely a romantic relationship between your son and goddaughter would be incestuous as you said they were family?!?!

It sounds sensible to offer the room, then charge a small amount of board to cover the bills.

Why on earth mention it to the mother without checking with your husband first?

Having someone live with you for a year (and an 18 year old girl at that) is a big undertaking and a big responsibility. If anything goes even slightly wrong, the girl's parents are going to look to you for blame. Your DH is absolutely reasonable to say that he does now want to share his home with someone else's child that he's going to feel responsible for (or indeed share his home with someone else at all). Yet you made an offer that you now have to withdraw, which will be extremely awkward and put you DH in the position of 'the one who unreasonably refused'.

Oh that's awkward. I think I would withdraw the offer and say you've had rethink and it's probably too much of a responsibility but she's welcome to pop over for dinner once a week (or whatever).

Maybe she won’t want to stay with you!
Surely staying in halls is where you meet friends and have the craic?

Why didn’t you discuss with DH first - you’ve really put him in a very awkward position….

Surely a romantic relationship between your son and goddaughter would be incestuous as you said they were family?!?!

WHERE did they OP say that? They are not related, they are friends

that sums it up

You probably should have discussed this with your husband first, because although they've said 'no pressure', you've effectively already offered.

I can't see the harm, personally - if they were going to get together, they'd do it regardless of whether they were living together, and it sounds like they see each other more like cousins? And she may well not like the idea, because it's not quite the uni experience to be basically living at your aunty's house - I certainly wouldn't have wanted a very close family friend there when I rolled home to fall asleep with a cheesy garlic bread or have a fresher's week one night stand.

Actually, that's a point, too - if you are going to offer/honour your sort-of-existing offer, you'd be best making clear your terms for her living there. Can she have friends/partners to stay? Will you be annoyed if they/she gets home at 2am and is bumbling around making toast in the kitchen? Is it a lodger-type set up where she keeps to her own space and you discuss any issues formally or do you have a more 'part of the family' approach where you'll just tell her to stop being noisy if necessary and you'll all watch TV together of an evening? How will you feel if she doesn't want to spend much time with any of you at all - how will your son feel? She may well meet a big group of new friends and spend barely any time at 'home' with you or your son - and vice versa, are you prepared for any hurt feelings between them? What if she's an absolute horror - are you dealing with her parents? Just her? What about your friendship with them, will it withstand you bollocking the daughter if she's a nightmare, and if not how do you plan to deal with any issues - back to the lodger/part of the family question, really.

I don't think it's a bad idea if you're all on the same page and with my almost-a-cousin-best-friend growing up this would have been fine - I get on very, very well with his mum and wouldn't have felt stifled nor scared to be a normal student there, and he and I never fell out. But there are certainly friends (and families) where I'd have felt less comfortable, so I think it's good to be clear about it before you really commit so she doesn't feel obliged to do it because it'll save her/her parents a lot of money.

I would say that this point they likely consider eachother more like siblings or cousins. If that’s not the case and there’s a romantic interest well then that would likely happen anyway. They have known eachother and been close enough that you should trust them to navigate it. There’s nothing to say she couldn’t move out later in the year of it came to it, though it probably wouldn’t.
I wouldn’t save the room for random guests. It’s a lovely offer to close family friends and you should definitely do it if you can get your husband on board.

I couldn't think of anything worse than living with family friends in my first year of Uni. Sounds like the mother needs to let her little girl grow up.

Potentially more sensible in second or third year but first year is for fun.

Halls will be loads better for her. Offer that she can come stay at the weekends if she'd like. I reckon your son probably fancies her and that's why he wants her to stay.

She won’t experience her first year ‘properly’ if she’s stuck living with family friends who she knows will be treating her as though she’s your own child. Will she have the freedom to come crashing home at 3, with some randomer in tow? I have no idea what sort of parent you are, but I would hate the restriction of living with ‘almost family’ in my first year at uni. Has anyone asked her opinion yet?

You've made the offer. It would look weird to take it back now

Imo she'd be crazy NOT to live in halls/self catering

Much more fun

Unless you'd be willing to have her staying with you for the full 3 years (or however long) of the course I would not make the offer. In my experience (as a student in my younger days and mum to current students) the experience of someone living with family/family friends in 1st year is very different from those living in halls. Most who live in halls bond with new friends partly through the shared experience of NOT having their family around to fall back on and tend to make arrangements to share a house for 2nd year with the people they get to know this way. My DC and their friends started looking for 2nd year accommodation very early (they were told they needed to) so there's not much time to sort this sort of thing out. Personally, unless finances are a real problem I would not want my DD to live with a family friend whilst at university as I think it changes the experience they have of student life and I'd also worry that living under the same room for an extended period of time would put a strain on her relationship with you.

Have you spoken to your son about how he feels towards the DD? I can see the concern that if they became more than friends then broke up (or if one of them wanted to be more than friends and the other didn't) it would be very awkward. However, when I was that age I had quite a few friends of the opposite sex that I'd known for many years and thought of more like brothers- there's no way I would have even considered any sort of romantic relationship with them.

It all sounds delightful!

Poor lass. I hope she moves into halls.