Household chores rant

[daydream919]

Sorry for the rant but I am feeling really taken for granted and I don't believe this is an equal relationship. We both work full time while he is at home full time and I am in office once a week. I do all of the cleaning (weekly large clean plus daily sweeping, wiping down counters etc), washing, dishes etc. I get up at 5.30 every morning and walk the dog everyday (except 1 day a week where I am in the office and I am still up to let the dog out at 5am while he sleeps til 7.30 everyday). We walk the dog at lunch which he joins 4 times a week roughly. We split the cooking and weekly shop. He is meant to take care of the garden, cars and DIY however I end up helping with the weeding of the garden and my car hasn't been washed in about 6 months. It just feels like each day I run around taking care of house/dog things outside of work while he barely interacts with the dog and does zero daily chores around the house. A good example of hings feeling unfair is never putting his dishes in the dishwasher, or if I ask him to clear the dishes, he will load his plate and not mine.. meanwhile I clean the entire house.

I can't help feeling that things aren't fair but when I put it down on paper I feel like I'm being unreasonable. He tells me all the time that he does more than me around the house and I'm not pulling my weight when to me it really feels the opposite. Sorry for the rant, AIBU?

@Itsdecisiontimeisitnot no sorry, we have a dog that we got together last year, I haven't posted this before

Why does he think he does more than you, is it because he works from home? You could have a look at the book Fair Play. Tasks outside the house never take as.long as they aren't as regular as the daily tasks that you have to do. He needs to be sharing the inside tasks with you and the dog walks. Maybe keep a diary for a week and sit down and discuss it?

How on earth can he feel he does more than you and you're not pulling your weight?!?!

One way to solve this is one person doing ALL the chores for 2 weeks then swapping over. The other doesn't have to lift a finger! He might then appreciate how much more you do than him.

But in reality you need to communicate! You need to TELL him that the chores are unfairly divided and you want to re-negotiate who does what. Write down e.g. one of you cleans the bathroom(s), the other the kitchen. You walk the dog 3 mornings, he walks it 3 mornings.

If he refuses, then please don't consider having kids with this person!!

Just hide a camera in the kitchen for a week and show him the evidence.

It honestly sounds like you’re making your life more difficult. Why on earth are you getting up at 5:30 to work from home? Surely you can get up at 7:30 too and one of you can still walk the dog?

@towriteyoumustlive he says because he does the DIY and takes care of the "more difficult" tasks that he does more but always has me helping with those things too.
@Sissynova I start work at 7.30 each day while he starts at 9 and the dog wakes us up crying at 5.30 everyday anyway as still a pup

It is very difficult to run a house with 2 people and a dog that you say you both wanted?

Do you need to downsize perhaps?

Yes of course talk to him but a 0530 start for jobs that are 80% or 100% WFH seems crazy.

@unlikelychump sorry should have clarified that it's the dog getting me up at that time rather than to get ready for work

Your dog might be a puppy but that doesn't mean you need to up and walking it at 5.30am.

Get up, let it out for a wee and take it back to bed.

Your OP makes it sound like your partner is super lazy, staying asleep until 7:30 and you are up from 5:30 slaving away. If the dog is young and needs walked in the morning it surely only needs a quick 10 min walk since then you are both walking it at lunch?
You then have 2 free hours in the afternoon when you are finished and he is still working.
Split the lunchtime walks or split the morning walks. At the minute it could easily be that you walk in the morning and your DH walks at lunch but you’re tagging along for both and then complaining about it.
Split the days in half for cooking, on the nights one cooks then the other washes up and puts away.
It really shouldn’t be this hard to both stay on top of housework with 2 adults.