To think the 90s were happier?

[hoven]

I grew up in the 90s and when I think about growing up I felt a lot let anxious and things felt just more relaxed.

Fast forward to now I'm a parent and feel so stressed and think back to the things I used to do as a child such as going to events (with mum) and shopping centres etc fill me with dread and worry.

Is the because I'm a parent now or were things easier and less scary in the 90s?

I live in London and grew up in London

I was a lot happier.

Maybe its cos I was a kid ??

That's what I'm asking I'm not sure if it was due to being a child or a genuine shift in lifestyle

It was because you were a child. They were shit. Economically, socially.

I was happier. I actually asked my mum if she was considering she was an adult then and to see if it was my rose tinted specs. She said she was definitely happier in the 80s and 90s and that she is sure the invention of such invasive social media is to blame (also carrying a small computer around with you 24/7 to access said social media). I don't know about that, but there was something nice about the anonymity of just going home after school or going out at the weekend and being...free?

I think they were. I left school in 1996 at 16, so I was working and renting for the last few years of the 90s in London.

My life was far from a bed of roses, so it’s not rose tinted glasses at all, but it was better. Everything seemed to change after 9/11. I had my first child in 2002, and things have got worse in the world since the mid 00s. It all feels so different.

For me they weren’t economically. I worked a job as a receptionist. My wage in 1997, at 17 was £16k a year for that. I rented a studio flat in Bermondsey (which admittedly was rough as anything back then!) for £60 a week.

I probably wouldn’t earn much more as a receptionist now
and I certainly couldn’t rent a flat on my own in London on that wage.

She said she was definitely happier in the 80s and 90s and that she is sure the invention of such invasive social media is to blame (also carrying a small computer around with you 24/7 to access said social media).

I was having a similar conversation with my early DD the other day and said the same regarding social media.

I was happier as we didn’t have social media. I wasn’t so aware of how corrupt our government is. I’m sure they were just as bad in the 90s but I wasn’t aware. Now with the social media channels, we are privy to more information and the 90s was a much happier place for me.

It was certainly a more optimistic and 'brasher' time. Happier? I'm not sure.

Swings and roundabouts really.
as a 90s teen, I loved the freedom of the long summer days, being out on bikes etc with friends all day and thinking it was the best thing ever if I had 50p for a bag of chips and panda pop. At home we had enough to keep us entertained ie game boy, mega drive, but it didn’t consume us like video games seem to now with kids. I think it’s sad my own kids don’t play out so randomly and I certainly wouldn’t feel able to give them the freedom we had as kids. Play dates are always pre-arranged etc and my mum can’t never get over how “under their parents feet” kids are today.

that said, as a child bereaved of her father very young in 1995, there was no emotional support like there would be today for children. Todays support in that area isn’t always great but atleast there’s some effort into trying and we don’t expect kids to just get on with it, put up and shut up.

in many ways we are are a kinder, more inclusive society, but with that comes its own challenges….

Hmmm I was 18 in 1992 and had a super time in the 90s. Loved them. I remember them fondly. I think, in general, we were all on a high. Luckily things like medicine and science have advanced in leaps and bounds but now in the 20s I think people are much more anxious younger.

You were a kid
It's swings and roundabouts.. there was more bullying in schools, homophobia, racism, sexual harrassment being okay of young women by older men.. parents in bad marriages staying together more..

But I'm glad I grew up without social media and a very outdoorsy life as a kid. And saturday night game shows. And more family gatherings!

It was definitely better and happier.

But I do agree that society is generally kinder to kids these days.

Things haven't got more dangerous - child abductions/murders are no more common now than they have been for many decades. Children are still, and have always been, far more likely to be killed or sexually abused at home by a member of their own family than they are to be attacked by a stranger.

Parenting has just become a lot more risk averse, partly due to incidents being much more widely publicised now than they once were. For example, every single person in the UK knew all about the James Bulger case in the late 1990s in a way that they wouldn't have done if had happened in the 1950s, and the cumulative effect of that kind of knowledge is a distorted idea of how common such incidents are.

I'm not saying it's bad that parents are more concerned about safety these days, but the actual risk isn't any greater than it ever was.

Oasis were still together.

If everyone dislikes social media so much why do you have it? Genuine question.

The children I know seem pretty happy, so guessing will feel the same about the 20s.

I was happier but I think with the Internet and information at our fingertips we worry alot more now, well I do! From googling symptoms to corrupt governments I think I was a bit more naive in the 90s and therefore not as stressed. I was also teens/ early 20s so maybe that's a happier time anyway

Yes, most of us think things were better when we were kids because we remember it as a time when we had no responsibilities. The stressful stuff tends to pass us by when we're younger. I have very fond memories of the 80s but I doubt my parents do.

I was 14 in 1990 and although I know loads of people my age are really nostalgic about that era, I'm actually not - for various reasons my teenage years were not very care-free and I had to deal with a lot of adult-level stuff, so I just don't have that rose-tinted perspective that my friends have.

In some ways I'm glad we had no social media in the 90s, but on the other hand, if I'd had access to social media or internet forums, it would have been much easier for me to find people who were like me and shared my interests. Being a bit of a weirdo was a lot harder when you didn't really have any means of meeting or chatting to other weirdos.

I'd say the "stranger danger" factor is not only no worse now, it's actually a lot safer these days. It was much easier for someone to get away with abduction and similar crimes a few decades ago. There's so much evidence these days, there's always a trail. CCTV, mobile phone tracking, ANPR, facial recognition. You can't move without leaving a trail. In my opinion this is why you never seem to hear about serial killers these days - someone might get away with a murder as a one off if they are very careful, but it's almost unheard of for there to be a Yorkshire Ripper-type offender, someone who repeatedly offends whilst their cases are all over the news.

As you state children are much more likely to come to harm at the hands of those who are meant to be looking after them.

It was definitely a more carefree time for me, because I was a teenager and then a young adult with money to spend in an exciting city. There was definitely more poverty and shitter living conditions that would not be accepted now, but also more open doors and flexibility to try things.

I was an adult in the 80s and 90s and found it a much, much happier time.

I’d agree with that.

My mum died in 1992, I was 12. She died on the Friday night in a hospice, I was expected to be back in school Monday morning. I had the next Friday afternoon off for her funeral and so missed my maths lesson and getting the homework. I got a screamed at in front of the class ann’s a detention for not doing it and was told not to use my mum as an excuse. It was never mentioned again, I had zero support.

I would hope things are different these days.

Yep I was happier, lived in London, worked in retail and bought a tiny flat but all mine with a 100% mortgage and no deposit. It was 3.5 times my wage. Still had money to go out and pay for the bus to work. I seem to have less money now. I’m currently changing career so bottom wage but never any spare money.

"I was an adult in the 80s and 90s and found it a much, much happier time."

Me too. Things are never perfect but there was a sense of optimism that is lacking today.