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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this Is a crazy intense birthday gift?

82 replies

Acunningruse · 05/07/2023 12:13

DD (6) good friend is also turning 6. I would have no idea what to buy her as she has lots and lots of toys. I had the idea of putting a little photo book together of all the photos of the play dates they've had together. DD loved the idea and helped me choose photos etc and I've just ordered it.
But now I'm panicking the Mum will find this crazy intense? For context we do socialise with them so it's not just a random classmate but I'm still second guessing myself...
YABU - she will run for the hills and change her phone number
YANBU- it is a lovely thoughtful gift

OP posts:
Positive41 · 05/07/2023 14:09

I would think this was so thoughtful and very sweet of you. Kids will receive other presents/toys etc, so this will be unique and can be kept forever.

Chocolateship · 05/07/2023 14:12

I think it's lovely, I'm sure they will recieve plenty of tat and generic unwanted gifts from others.

Tutu365 · 05/07/2023 14:12

I think it’s a really thoughtful, cute gift.

One that stands out for me from when mine were that age (teens now) was when DS got a little plant (set of 3 little cacti in a planter) from a friend. I was a bit 🤷‍♀️ at the time but he treasured it and it’s still in his room, despite him moving rooms and ditching a load of old stuff from his early years.

So could you go plant eg cactus as the other gift?

Scaraben · 05/07/2023 14:13

I think it's nice. My 5yr old loves looking at photos of days out we've had, parties with friends etc. She's always wanting to borrow my phone to scroll through them!

Cheztwix · 05/07/2023 14:15

I think it’s really sweet. 6 year olds love looking at photos!

babyproblems · 05/07/2023 14:19

Agree that a pack of stickers or a little friendship bracelet would be a nice thing to add to it. Maybe you could make one with your dd? Ignore what the mum thinks. I think it’s lovely! Xx

Lentilweaver · 05/07/2023 14:20

I wouldn't find it intense. I would find it sweet and thoughtful. I think a 6-year-old might not find it as exciting as a toy.

JMSA · 05/07/2023 14:20

Tutu365 · 05/07/2023 14:12

I think it’s a really thoughtful, cute gift.

One that stands out for me from when mine were that age (teens now) was when DS got a little plant (set of 3 little cacti in a planter) from a friend. I was a bit 🤷‍♀️ at the time but he treasured it and it’s still in his room, despite him moving rooms and ditching a load of old stuff from his early years.

So could you go plant eg cactus as the other gift?

This is so sweet Smile

Inertia · 05/07/2023 14:20

I like the scrapbook suggestion plus a few photos that aPP suggested. My DC loved scrapbooks/ craft things at that age . You want the birthday child to have the fun part.

ManateeFair · 05/07/2023 14:22

eddiemairswife · 05/07/2023 12:47

Is that what people do nowadays? Take photos of their children playing with friends?

What a strange comment. If you're not that into photos, that's fine - but lots of people like to have a record of fun times from their kids' childhoods, and not just of the big family occasions or special days out.

My mum has photos of me playing with friends when I was little, and I was born in the mid-1970s. I'm sure if smart phones had been around in those days, she'd have taken a lot more!

I have a couple of childhood friends that I'm still in touch with and one of them recently sent me a photo he'd just found at his mum's of me and him when were four or five. And one of my mum's best friends has shown me some incredibly cute pictures of me and her son playing when we were toddlers and used to live a couple of doors down from each other.

Apricotton · 05/07/2023 14:24

I think it’s a lovely present. I made my youngest a photobook and she loved it. My eldest wanted one too and it was her favourite present. It might not have so much initial ‘wow’ factor, but I genuinely think she will love it and it’s likely to outlast many toys.

Pipsquiggle · 05/07/2023 14:31

It's thoughtful.............................. but do 6 year olds want thoughtful?

Mine would have preferred Uno or pokemon cards but I have boys so feel free to ignore

Guiltridden12345 · 05/07/2023 14:39

When mine were that age, I used to get my child to choose a gift based on what the child liked and also what was age appropriate. What you think is great will be different from a six year old. A book of photos of your child and birthday child is oddly intense/unusual in my view. My child wouldn’t have appreciated it and as a parent I would have considered it odd and made a mental note to widen our friendships from that child as a result.

honeylulu · 05/07/2023 14:56

Both my kids would have loved this (both from a very young age and now too). They've always really loved looking at "hard copy" photo albums perhaps because they are more of a novelty now. I think it's a lovely idea. I made a couple of mini albums for my mum for mother's days and both times the kids were jealous and wanted to keep them!

Stillcantbebothered · 05/07/2023 15:05

I rarely do gifts anymore as I find it stressful trying to figure out what to buy for each of her friends and classmates parties so I give gift cards now and they can buy what they want.

Jumbojade · 05/07/2023 15:06

A book with just pictures of the birthday girl and your dd, is not something any of mine would have liked. If it had pictures of all the different friends of the birthday girl, it would have been better.

To me, as a mother, I would find it rather a peculiar present. My children would have looked at it, then put it away, probably never to look at again.

Blofelt · 05/07/2023 15:06

I think it's a bit intense, yes.

howlismoving · 05/07/2023 15:25

ManateeFair · 05/07/2023 14:22

What a strange comment. If you're not that into photos, that's fine - but lots of people like to have a record of fun times from their kids' childhoods, and not just of the big family occasions or special days out.

My mum has photos of me playing with friends when I was little, and I was born in the mid-1970s. I'm sure if smart phones had been around in those days, she'd have taken a lot more!

I have a couple of childhood friends that I'm still in touch with and one of them recently sent me a photo he'd just found at his mum's of me and him when were four or five. And one of my mum's best friends has shown me some incredibly cute pictures of me and her son playing when we were toddlers and used to live a couple of doors down from each other.

Show quote history

Totally agree, we have a ton of photos from the 80s of us playing out on our bikes or at parties etc. It's definitely nothing new!

I've kept some of the photo books I was gifted from friends when I was young and I was also given cute frames with photos of me and my friends in as gifts and I kept a few of those too. I think it's a nice idea for a gift!

PaperNests · 05/07/2023 15:35

My DD is 6 and she would absolutely love this. She treasures photos and has quite a few photo books she looks at a lot. I think it's a brilliant idea for a close friend. Even if it doesn't have that initial wow factor when they unwrap presents I'm sure it will be enjoyed for longer than a lot of the toys.

pimplebum · 05/07/2023 16:38

I would love it
And cherish it
I'd probably take it off my child and keep it nice n pristine in the loft

alongside · 05/07/2023 16:49

I don’t think it’s a good present for a 6-year old, when kids play it’s what is happening in that moment, they don’t care about memories kept in a book..

alongside · 05/07/2023 16:53

SunnyFrost · 05/07/2023 13:31

I’m not trying to be unkind but just very honest - if someone gave this to my child I would be a little freaked out. I don’t love the idea of them being photographed on play dates anyway and would honestly find this quite a strange and intense gift.

I’m really sorry if that’s hard to hear and I really don’t want to be rude but I assume you asked because you want honest opinions and are already a little concerned.

It’s a lovely thing to do if someone is moving away or something like that but for a standard birthday present I do find it very over the top and unusual in a way that wouldn’t sit well with me at all.

Same here. I’d be questioning it in my mind and likely avoid playdates at their place again tbh. I work with children that age.

KnitMePurlMe · 05/07/2023 17:01

@alongside why on earth would u avoid the house of someone who took photos of your kids?? They’re friends! Why are people so fucking weird nowadays? 😳

alongside · 05/07/2023 17:06

@KnitMePurlMe I think it’s weird taking photos of someone elses child and printing a book.

Blofelt · 05/07/2023 17:10

I think if it's the actual kid doing it it isn't so odd. My dds friend gave dd a picture of them both in a little frame when she moved away at 14 and dd treasures it.

My 6 year old just would have thought a book of pictures is irrelevant tbh as presumably they'll have years of play dates ahead of them?