I am so freaked out!

[elf1985]

Sorry, shamelessly posting for traffic as in a panic. About a week ago I woke up at about 1am to hear rustling, spent 20 minutes fumbling around with a torch to find a HUGE beetle trapped in a plastic package. Threw it out of the window, slept terribly. Didn't think much of it after. I have just got home from work and went to get in bed to find this bastard on my headboard. Chucked it out of the window, now trying desperately to sleep on the sofa because there is no way on earth I could sleep up there. Aibu to leave my husband sleeping in there? And what the hell, is there a nest? Are they planning a takeover? What are they and how do I destroy them all without burning down my house???

If I were you, I’d spend the night in a Travelodge and refuse to come back until your DH has taken the bed outside and burnt it!
Disclaimer - I’m a teensy bit scared of creepy crawlies and a massive drama queen!

I’ll swap your beetle for the slugs that invade my bedroom at night - live in a bungalow!

Apart from looking a bit small it looks like a stag beetle. A bit alarming when you suddenly see one flying outside unexpectedly but it won't hurt you. Think they're generally looking for mates at this time of year....maybe it fancies you.

I used to get these in my old cottage sometimes. Used to freak me out too and generally I'm not easily freaked. If I remember rightly they used to make a sort of clicking noise. I never used to get more than a couple at a time so hopefully you won't have to resort to burning your bed 😉

If you've dealt with it and its gone then you're very unlikely probability wise to find another one there tonight. That's what I stick by.
Had a huge spider in the bedroom recently. Disposed of it and it's unlikely I'll find another one for a while so I've been quite happy to carry on sleeping in my room. Cant let these literal buggers rule your life.

Though if I did find several big ones over the course of a few days I would have to put it down to the fact that my neighbours on both sides don’t take their washing in at night. So therefore the big spiders have rubbed their willies on it all and now need a place to recuperate. In which case I'd have to burn the house down. This is not a respite centre for exhausted spider willies. By all means, let your washing get darked on, but keep your wandering nocturnal arachnid dicks on your sides of the fence!

This is my solution too!!!!

It looks like a pantry beetle to me ( might be wrong). I can’t really tell size properly - pantry beetles are prob up to half an inch long. Google to see if that’s it and how to get rid of them.

Tried to be brave (mostly uncomfortable) went up, one more on the lamp shade. I'm going to clean the room like mad today. Probably won't do anything, but couldn't sleep on there if not. Was thinking earlier that ever since we got our new bed in November it always seems to "settle" after I get in, now wondering if it's these guys settling in at night. 😱

I could be wrong but it looks like a female stag beetle to me. I don't think pantry beetles have mouthparts like that. If you keep finding them in your house then it would be you have some damp wood either in your house or nearby as that is what they eat. They won't do you any harm but I understand that they can still seem a bit scary. Please don't kill them though as they are declining in the UK.

We live in quite a wooded area so that would make sense. But why only on my side of the bed? And how the heck are they getting in?

There's not a chance that you have some damp wood under your floorboards is there? Just a guess. Either that or stag beetles often like to come out at twilight and can be drawn to light. If you're in a wooded area they might be drawn in...but it's all guesswork! Not sure it's much of a consolation but (if they are stag beetles) then they're only around in adult form until late July (sometimes you can see them in August).

So I have emptied and cleaned the entire room and come to the conclusion they must be coming through the vents in the window. Wasted morning but at least I will sleep tonight.