Would I be mad to take this job

[squirrelsinyourarmchair]

In my current role I earn £50k for five days per week (two long days and three shorter days to fit in with school hours).

It is stressful and I don’t enjoy it, it often ruins evenings and weekends as I’m either having to work overtime (unpaid) or it’s just on my mind and I’m stressing about it. I also have to travel approx. once per month.

I applied for a more local role doing something very similar but at a more junior level. It pays £20k for three days per week, 8am - 4pm. No travel and no line management.

Basically I want something less stressful, more part-time and which just generally gives me more headspace to focus on my family (I have two kids aged 3 and 7). We can afford it but it just feels like such a big pay cut and I don’t know if I’m totally mad for doing it.

I’be been a civil servant for a long time so not that worried about my pension as it’s in a good place from years of contributions.

This is actually part of my motivation too 😔 One of my close friends has recently been diagnosed with cancer at the age of 40 and one of the school dads died last week, also in his 40s.

Also my mother in law stuck out her job for the great pension even though she hated it and died 18 months after she retired 😔

I’m in a really similar situation OP! Not sure what to do either.

I know I need to make a change but I don’t know if I’m brave enough to do it.

I’ve just done something comparable, same age kids and left the civil service. I’m only a couple of months in to the new role. I have had a bit of a wobble about whether I’ve ditched my career, but overall I think I’ve made the right choice. Some pros and cons I’ve found:

The money is less, but once you look at tax etc the difference gets smaller. Work out what the difference would be at the end of the month, taking childcare etc in to account, and then what you’d have to give up.

More junior level work can be stressful - less chance to manage yourself. But for me less responsibility = less stress. I’ve got too much responsibility outside work at the moment, so for now I’m happy with doing what I’m told in work!

Im only a grade below where I was, and I’ve gone to a new organisation where I’m confident I can get promoted in a couple of years. I didn’t want to shut off that option.

Employer benefits make a huge difference. I’m getting a very good deal on pension contributions and annual leave. I wouldn’t have taken the job without them.

Working part time can be the best of both worlds or the worst. Check out your potential employer carefully.

I think all of this adds up to: yes move on and “down”, but be careful which job you move to.

Glad it’s going well. Your rationale sounds the same as mine!

I think leaving the CS is hard and maybe a bit scary. My friend pointed out that hardly anyone does it and it’s true - I can think of loads of people who’ve retired, a few career breaks but almost nobody who has actually resigned. Yet I know a lot of people who aren’t happy and aren’t really sure why they work there!!

Can I ask what grade you were? I’m a 7, this role I’ve been offered is probably between EO and HEO. I also have an interview for another role which I’d guess is closer to SEO.

I was a grade 7. The role I’m in now is about HEO-SEO equivalent - I’m not managing anyone but could be, largely doing work rather than overseeing it. SEO equivalent pay.

Honestly the most common reaction when I messaged colleagues to say I was leaving was “congratulations”! One literally said “I’m so proud of anyone who escapes”. Which kind of makes me really sad, I love the civil service, but its negatives are just too negative these days.

Gosh this is all so relatable.

Can I ask whether you are part time in your new role?

I’ve made the decision that I will only apply for jobs advertised as part time from now on.

I’ve got so fed up of the civil service approach where jobs are advertised as “suitable for full or part time” which essentially means you’ll have full time responsibilities whatever your working pattern 🙄

Financially it sounds like you'd be OK. But watch out, sometimes more junior roles are actually more stressful because you don't have as much decision making autonomy and not as much leeway to delegate.

I think the mid-level £30k for 3.5 sounds promising, closer pro-rata to where you are now so better potential when your kid/s are a bit older?

Not sure what you’ll decide but I think you are right to do something - whether it’s the 20k or 30k role. But don’t let them exploit you. I took a 20k paycut for same reasons and I’m just exploited for my skills in my new job. I hate it.

Go for it! Especially as you will still have a very healthy household income. It depends what your priorities are. Money isn't everything, health and family are...well that's my view anyway. Do what you think will make you happiest. Life is too short.

100%

My dad died when he was 60 having lived well and got secure.

He got loads of post saying "Mr xxx, time to enjoy life!" Which I had to return to sender.

My wife and I work part time and fully prioritise the kids and our family.

Have you actually pushed the work back and gone "no, I'm part time that part of my job needs to go elsewhere"? I have seen others to do it very effectively, boundaries of steel.

Yes I can do that but what do you want me to drop to achieve it?

Yes I really, really have. Honestly! I’ve tried for years to make this work.

Urgh then definitely time to move on, any other CS jobs going?

I left and now work in Higher Education, it was like going back in time 😳

No not mad to leave and take a part time lower responsibility role. If you get bored you can apply for other stuff.

I’ll PM you

I can imagine that if an employer thinks you are capable of doing more, it would be very easy for them to push more responsibilities on to you.
How do you guard against that?

To an extent I feel this in my current role too in that I’m quite conscientious and no matter how many times I try to set boundaries I still seem to end up with extra work. Would not be good if I took a pay cut and the same thing kept happening!

What does your partner think?

I’d just be aware that some is definitely your role and some could be learning extra skills to say no. If you’re a people pleaser it’s so so easier to slip into the getting more and more work done. I was in that place in my 30s but I did stay in my organisation and I went down a level then learnt better to say No to extra work, and moved departments made it easier to reassert myself and cherry picked projects whilst saying no to extras and I’m back to my original level again with a part time role. It’s really hard juggling when the jobs not a good fit, I hope you find something to suit your skills. Could you not move depts?

He’s fine with it. At the moment our home life is mad (both of us working almost full time and juggling pick ups, drop offs, after school and weekend activities, holiday childcare etc plus keeping on top of housework etc) and he’d be happy to step back from some of that and for me to take on more. And I know it’s probably not very feminist but I’d be happy with that too.

For many years we earned the same, it’s only recently he’s pulled ahead a bit. So I’ve been pulling my weight financially for most of our relationship.

I think you’re right, it’s a combination of a number of different issues. Setting boundaries is absolutely a part of it.

But a big part of it is also that I just don’t want a role with this level of seniority anymore - I feel like too much of my headspace is taken up with work issues. I‘m a conscientious line manager but I don’t want to be worrying about my direct reports when I could be thinking about my kids.

I have actually worked in three different departments now, they all have their pros and cons! My current role is not great for a few different specific reasons which I won’t go into here. But I’m not convinced the issues would be resolved by a different department.