To think I’ll be able to continue with my job?

[Workingmum994]

Name change to not out myself.

I am due to return to work after maternity leave. Planned to work 3 days a week, however my mum was due to have my LO on one of the days, but now can’t because of health reasons. Other 2 days are sorted with PILs (so grateful).

I didn’t realise just how long waiting lists were for childcare and I cannot get any care for the day I need. I am on waiting lists too. This leaves me no choice but to negotiate working 2 days a week working 10 hour days (early shifts and late). However, these days are likely to end up longer as I work in a role where if something happens we can’t just go home on our “home time”. It’s not in our contract, just the nature of it and what’s expected.

My partner is saying I’m going to be taking work home with me and stressing about it as I won’t be able to fit my work into the days I’ll be doing. Admittedly I am a worrier.

I love what I do. I’ve always gone for roles that give me job satisfaction. It’s a demanding job, emotionally, but I feel as if I am helping people.

My worry is that I’m going to be doing 14 hour days and it won’t be feasible. I want to be able to give my LO a good life and quality time.

AIBU to think it’s maintainable? Anyone else had similar circumstances and managed?

I do this, sort-of. Some weeks I work four day weeks; with two of them being really flexible and casual, and two being really full on, 10 - 12 hours.

It's hard. It was easier when my baby was small - I missed him, but he was alright! But now he's a toddler, it's much harder. It's hard going on all three of us. It takes a lot of planning and distraction, and I try to minimise impact on him. I do it 20 times a year at max; and try to limit it further.

I'd very much underestimated how tough that long a day would be; both in terms of actually working the day, and in terms of recovery - he clings to me a bit afterwards because he doesn't feel like he's seen me enough the day before, and he's not as happy to disappear off to childcare/play etc as he normally is, he's usually really independent.

I'd also second that one day a week in nursery will be pretty tough-going. Nurseries won't like it because it'll be tough to settle him in, and it's not very profitable for them. You might find that it's better to reverse your set-up and have him in nursery two days a week, and with grandparents one day - which will be more expensive in the short-term, but he'll be more settled and it'll help you with finding childcare and work/life balance; and it won't be so bad when his free hours kick in.