Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School full time at 4

139 replies

Holeymoleyy · 04/07/2023 14:04

My DC turns 4 at the end of July. I received the letter a few months ago and applied for her school place. The offer came back and it says she is to start school full time from the 6th September. There didn’t seem to be any option of part time

She currently goes to nursery, who are not able to keep any children on who turn 4 before the start of September term and they were encouraging all parents to apply for a school place

She is very bright and sociable and her confidence has grown a lot since going to nursery so I have no worries there. I just hope that I’m doing the right thing. Any opinions appreciated?

OP posts:
Giraffe888 · 04/07/2023 14:05

My son is 4 at the end of July and he’s also starting school in September. It might be tiring but I know he will be fine

IhearyouClemFandango · 04/07/2023 14:06

Lots of people do. My dd is a mid August baby, so started at 4 and 2 weeks. She was ok in reception but we pulled her out in yr 1.

GloryBees · 04/07/2023 14:07

Yes this is perfectly normal. In the private sector they often start full time even earlier.

CupEmpty · 04/07/2023 14:08

@IhearyouClemFandango do you mind me asking why? I have an august baby due to start year after next and o just don’t feel she will be ready.

IhearyouClemFandango · 04/07/2023 14:10

She just wasn't ready to be away from us yet really, she coped ok in reception but only just. She hadn't really done preschool or whatever either.

We home educated until yr 4 when she decided to try again, she's now just finishing yr 8.

OwlBasket · 04/07/2023 14:17

I’m not in the UK, here children all start f/t school the day after their 4th birthday (unless it falls in a holiday, then first day after the holidays). It works really well. Some (a very few) parents hold their children back but it seems to disadvantage them socially

Createausername1970 · 04/07/2023 14:18

My boy wasn't ready at his age and he was part of the cohort who did part time till Easter too. To be fair, we hadn't long adopted him and he was still trying to settle, so to be elsewhere for 3 hours and then 6 hours a day was a very negative experience and has contributed hugely to his anxiety and general poor sense of well-being later in life. I wish I had stuck to my guns and overrode SS with their insistence about school, but I didn't so hey ho.

My understanding is that they don't have to go full time until the term after they are 5, so in theory you child could do part time. This issue with this is that if they are the only one doing this, the class teacher is not going to be able to tailor lessons for your DC so they will miss out - a lot.

My suggestions is to let them go full time and see how it pans out. If they cope, with no other issues than being a bit tired, then its fine. If you really think they are not coping and it is too much for them at their age, then your best option might be to withdraw them and homeschool until Y1. Concentrate on reading and basic maths and writing and they shouldn't be too wide of the mark when they start in Y1.

Blueskysunflower · 04/07/2023 14:19

You have the legal right to send your child part time until they reach compulsory school age, even if the school doesn’t draw your attention to that fact. In reality most children cope fine full time from the start (or at least after the very initial settling period) and would be upset to leave halfway through the day or miss out on what all the other kids are doing . The only part time children in either of my children’s reception classes had fairly serious special needs (ie they had 1:1) and even then they were full time by Christmas.

If she’s bright and sociable and doing well at nursery she will most likely be a bit tired for a while, but ultimately completely fine. Yes some people hold back summer borns (and had my DS with autism, emotional immaturity and serious behavioural issues been a summer not autumn baby I’d absolutely have held him back, I’m not against the idea in principle) but most people don’t and their children are fine. If you don’t have any other setting for September I’d say deferring a year is unwise unless you can find another nursery to take her.

But if you’re worried ask the school for your child to start part time, you can always choose to increase it to full time when you’re ready. Just be aware she’ll probably be the only one and she might get upset about leaving at lunchtime each day or whatever.

NigelTheCrab · 04/07/2023 14:24

My DS’s birthday is the tail end of August, so he turned 4 and started school less than a week later.
We were also worried about how he was going to cope. We spoke about it at length and decided to give it go. He’d been going to nursery since he was 1. We moved him to the preschool attached to our favourite school (which he got in to) when he was 3, where he attended 4 days a week. We spoke to school who assured us that they would speak to us if they had any concerns.
He’s really thrived being at school. Being the youngest doesn’t seem to have held him back - although, I think year 1 may be a bigger challenge than reception.
Because of his age and his personality, our preference was to send him to smaller school, and I think this has also really helped him.

Caravanvirgin · 04/07/2023 14:26

The alternative is you can look for a nursery/preschool which will take her from 4 to 5 and then ask the school if they will allow her to start reception in September 2024. If you wanted to that then you would need to get your skates
as there is only a few weeks left of term and it’s a busy time.

I think part time reception is the worst of the 3 options.

Aggielera · 04/07/2023 14:27

I don’t really understand how you got to this point without realising? This is totally standard procedure.

FlyingSoap · 04/07/2023 14:28

We are hoping to TTC an August baby later this year. I know they will go to school earlier but our DC will likely be tall so won’t look too out of place. It’s £12000 saved potentially in childcare costs vs September birthday where you’d pay 12k more. That 12k, instead of being spent on nurseries, could buy them some fantastic holidays and experiences and/or go towards uni fees. No brainer for us! I don’t think the difference is that marked as some say, kids soon catch up especially if you put the effort in with them at home xx

Rollerbird · 04/07/2023 14:32

My end of August child was fine academically but not as mature emotionally.

Glitterstars · 04/07/2023 14:33

My little girl is 4 in August and will be starting in September. Way I see it someone has to be the youngest and she will be fine. We have prepared her well. She is going to look small next to some as on the smaller size anyway but she’s an independent sassy little lady and I have no concerns x

IhearyouClemFandango · 04/07/2023 14:34

Yes, that's what we found. She was tall and physically adept, hadn't napped for years, met all academic 'milestones' etc, but emotionally wasn't ready to be away to that extent. You can't really do anything to catch them up in that regard. I compare her to her younger brother who is October, and they're worlds apart. The difference is bourne out statistically, not just anecdotally.

Aggielera · 04/07/2023 14:35

@FlyingSoap

Theres a vast array of heights in my daughter’s reception class. It has no bearing on anything!

So your holiday pot goes down £1k for every month you fail to get pregnant? That’s a lot of pressure. Let’s hope things go smoothly ttc.

apric0t · 04/07/2023 14:35

My daughter was born mid august, she is just finishing her first year of reception, she is the youngest in the entire school and considerably smaller than the other children but has loved it, done really well, I honestly don't see why you would do part time, they need to slot in with their peer group

Crunchymum · 04/07/2023 14:36

FlyingSoap · 04/07/2023 14:28

We are hoping to TTC an August baby later this year. I know they will go to school earlier but our DC will likely be tall so won’t look too out of place. It’s £12000 saved potentially in childcare costs vs September birthday where you’d pay 12k more. That 12k, instead of being spent on nurseries, could buy them some fantastic holidays and experiences and/or go towards uni fees. No brainer for us! I don’t think the difference is that marked as some say, kids soon catch up especially if you put the effort in with them at home xx

Good luck with that 🙄

Wenfy · 04/07/2023 14:37

FlyingSoap · 04/07/2023 14:28

We are hoping to TTC an August baby later this year. I know they will go to school earlier but our DC will likely be tall so won’t look too out of place. It’s £12000 saved potentially in childcare costs vs September birthday where you’d pay 12k more. That 12k, instead of being spent on nurseries, could buy them some fantastic holidays and experiences and/or go towards uni fees. No brainer for us! I don’t think the difference is that marked as some say, kids soon catch up especially if you put the effort in with them at home xx

The childcare savings won’t matter so much now as you get ‘free’ term time care from 2.

Mariposista · 04/07/2023 14:37

apric0t · 04/07/2023 14:35

My daughter was born mid august, she is just finishing her first year of reception, she is the youngest in the entire school and considerably smaller than the other children but has loved it, done really well, I honestly don't see why you would do part time, they need to slot in with their peer group

Totally this. One of my friends was born 30 August, she is now a renal consultant. Don’t make your kid different.

Wenfy · 04/07/2023 14:38

Rollerbird · 04/07/2023 14:32

My end of August child was fine academically but not as mature emotionally.

Me too. I am an August baby. I did well from the minute I started but couldn’t socialise and by the time I figured it out friendships had been solidified. All my friends in primary were non-school friends.

Zonder · 04/07/2023 14:39

Wenfy · 04/07/2023 14:37

The childcare savings won’t matter so much now as you get ‘free’ term time care from 2.

Show quote history

Only some do and only 15 hours.

Wenfy · 04/07/2023 14:40

Mariposista · 04/07/2023 14:37

Totally this. One of my friends was born 30 August, she is now a renal consultant. Don’t make your kid different.

Show quote history

As she should be because the cut off is 22/22 Aug so she’d be among the oldest in her year

Jijithecat · 04/07/2023 14:40

My August born has lots of friends, speaks well with the teachers, exceeds expectations in key areas of the curriculum and represents the school in district sports.
Just because a child is the youngest/one of the youngest in the year doesn't mean they will struggle.
I've also seen September born children struggle to settle into school and cry every morning at school drop off for the first month of the school year.
They are individuals and their birth month doesn't predetermine their school life.

KnittedCardi · 04/07/2023 14:40

DD1 was an end of July baby, and went to school in the September. She had been in a nursery setting for full days, since she was 6 months old. She was the smallest, being small anyway, and the youngest. Her best friend was the oldest and the tallest! They turned out to be the top two academically in every year of primary.