Am I being Passive Aggressive... And what are your Passive Aggressive moments?

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

One of my friends is getting married and we were in the process of arranging a Hen Do in a big group on WhatsApp. Two locations were thrown around and no one was overly opinionated on where we went. I explained to the group that although both locations are far for me (I live in Bradford, they're in Birmingham), Cornwall would mean an extra long trip for me, so I prefer London.

One of the women then piped up and said actually she would like to do Cornwall, without acknowledging my request. Okay fine, I said I would drive myself there whilst they were all getting the train. Anyway, about a month later, all panic set with the rail strikes and how expensive their train tickets to Cornwall are going to be now and fair increases etc. I thought they were hankering for a lift and I've ignored it and let them sort themselves out. No one considered me and the distance I had to travel when the locations were being discussed. So why should I now consider them? They all drive by the way, they just don't want to drive to a "big unknown city".

Am I being unreasonably passive aggressive. Also has anyone else done the same?

I'm going to get rid of this thread now, I was hoping it would be fairly light hearted and filled with similar anecdotes, but it's turned into a bit of a character assassination on my mental health. Digging into my old posts from when I was going for a really rough time being a foreigner in a new county was a new low...

Thanks to those who have posted in the thread in support.

This, You aren't being PA, OP. You are, however, apparently inventing a scenario in your head where they want lifts from you, when it seems none of them has asked or even hinted -- you seem to be inventing something to be aggrieved about.

To be fair to the OP I am not new to this country and if I started a thread every time someone bewildered me/got on my tits I’d need to employ someone to manage my MN account😜
I can’t do passive aggressive, I am more likely to quietly fume then give in and people-please. Blame my childhood!

YANBU to do your own thing. I definitely wouldn’t be keen on driving people I didn’t really know. I think it’s fair enough if the majority chose Cornwall, but it was maybe rude to blank your plea, it would have been nice to at least acknowledge the fact you’d have a very long trip and suggest a way to mitigate that. Nice to be nice and all that. Lots of people like their own way very much. Wouldn’t let it spoil your fun though, it’ll be good once you get there.

You're the one being weird here... Advance searching someone to pick them apart and now trying to encourage everyone else to do the same?

Nasty bullying behaviour

Thank you @CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson I really appreciate it. I was going through a rough time back in 2017 to 18 which probably inspired a lot of my earlier posts which have cruelly been dragged back up. I have reported that unkind poster and this thread, so hopefully it'll get pulled soon 😊

You need to have a word with yourself.
Previous threads have nothing to do with this one.
You could have scrolled past but felt the need to do a "cheeky AS".

You may find Tattle Life more in line with your social media needs than MN.

Yanbu to not give them a lift if you don't want to and they haven't even asked for one.

But..... they just don't want to drive to a "big unknown city"

Are you sure you're going to Cornwall? Because there are no big cities in Cornwall!

There are no big cities in Cornwall

Have you looked at a map? It would be much easier for them to get to London too.

Cornwall was the least convenient option for everyone, perhaps they just really wanted to go there?

I don't think you've been passive aggressive.

However I don't know why you're offended. You stated a preference, somebody else did the same. Clearly this decision went with the majority.

Nobody has asked you for a lift and I don't think moaning about train fares equates to hinting.

If I really wanted to drive alone I would; sometimes it's the only peaceful time I get with my own thoughts and an audiobook.

But if I didn't mind I would offer a lift no question. It seems really spiteful to not offer simply because they weren't concerned.

It's going to be a glorious weekend with you arriving thinking you've got one over on everybody. Your attitude will be visible way before you are!

You aren't being pass agg at all. In fact you are a saint for even going. I think I would have dipped out when the location switched from London to Cornwall. I live in the SE and it can easily take 7 hours to drive to Cornwall. Stuff that for a game of soldiers.

The alternative was London