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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I act in the face of this person’s continual ghosting of me?

3 replies

Cortinaweb · 04/07/2023 10:23

I am a parent rep for my Child’s year group along with another parent. School is one of the big London Indies where the parents association is a big side of things and depends on volunteers willing to step up, as the two of us did last summer. We have separate responsibilities as well as joint responsibilities. She has been great in some areas but has always been uninvolved on the joint responsibility side, ie not attending virtual evening meetings re events we need to get involved in together, and then not responding to my messages about them. Or she will reply several days later, and then tell me how things should be done. This has been unhelpful because by then I have started to fill in the gaps and get on organising the job myself, and then she wants me to about-face and do it her way.
I get that she is a really busy person, but she did volunteer for the role and surely if she was too busy to respond straight away, she could send a message across by the end of the day saying that she’s currently busy but will get back to me by such and such a point …
That being said, she has always been able to reply to other things on our main class chat group very quickly, even though she was apparently working at the time.
Various other things about her behaviour (along with something somebody I confided in said to me) have led me to the conclusion that she is playing a power game.
A few weeks ago, to my relief, she told me and the PA Chair that she was stepping down at the end of term, which for us is next Wednesday. I’ve messaged three times over the last six weeks to suggest that we get a message out to the parents so that everyone knows who to approach as rep going forwards. But surprise surprise, no replies to any of them.
Would it be unreasonable of me to just send out my own announcement, explaining that she is standing down and thanking her for XYZ? It seems to me that she is playing some kind of power game, and I don’t want to make a bad situation worse. I actually feel that whatever I do will be wrong.

OP posts:
MyrrAgain · 04/07/2023 10:27

Send it..you don't have time for this BS
Or one last message to say hi, not heard from you and I need to move things along before the fast approaching end of term! I'll let them know tomorrow you're leaving etc etc if I don't hear from you

TheActualDevil · 04/07/2023 10:28

You sound like you quite like the power here TBH. What will happen if you just leave it alone?

ShirleyPhallus · 04/07/2023 10:28

I’ve worked with people like this and always my approach is

“hi, I’ll send a message out saying XYZ on 1st Date. If you have any comments / objections let me know by then otherwise I’ll assume all fine and go ahead”.

then do just that. Time wasting wankers

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