Weekends

[Rda124]

So to try and sum everything up and not bore you with the details, the kids father and I have been separated for 6 years, I have always worked around him as I didn’t have a job then and it was never a problem as long as he seen the kids. He has never wanted or agreed to weekends apart from covid when he had to stop work and even at that it was bi weekly visits. And yet when school returned I was forced and blackmailed to drive to him (30-45 min drive in the morning to get to him then and extra 30-45 mins back) to take them to school and return them as I live beside it. He had been in and out of their life for the first 3 years after the separation as he wanted to do what he wanted to. Always puts his job first and insists that his job won’t let him take weekends off which I have said it doesn’t even need to be every one, just bi weekly yet I am now working full time, haven’t been able to change days to suit my working schedule and still manage to see my kids every chance I get but as of now, his weekdays that he’s chosen aren’t working for the kids and I anymore. I’ve had to stop my son going to football as he refuses to make the journey for his training nights, my little girl can’t go to gymnastics which she desperately needs as it’s too far for him, and they miss school on a weekly basis as the travel is “too much” for him to do in the mornings yet I have offered to change to weekends and yet again it’s a complete no and nasty messages towards me.

What my question is, is that if I go to a solicitor would I have a fighting chance of getting him to have weekend visitation? I feel like everything is just not right anymore and my children are suffering in the long run. Please help a mama out

You want a court to force him to see his kids?

From what you've written he's miles away from having your kids best interests at heart. He makes them miss mornings of school? They can't do their sports clubs because of him?

I'd be asking the Court to stop him seeing his kids! He's clearly not interested, and can't be bothered. How old are your children OP?

Now he does see them every week and doesn’t miss a day which I’ll give him that but the days he has them doesn’t work for the kids anymore, I’m not saying he’s a bad father but he’s a bad parent if that makes any sense. I have stopped contact before and he has threatened to go to court but all this was prior to activities/school. My boy is 8 in October and little girl is 6.

If he isn’t even taking them to school then I would definitely be going down the formal route. I hope you aren’t dropping them off there and he is coming to get them. But if you are then just stop and see what happens

Get a report from school about when they have been absent to help your case. If he is not facilitating thier education then I think a court would insist that they stay with you in the week.

They miss school every week? No way would I accept that.

I'd give him the days the kids are available and up to him if he wants them, if he wants other arrangements let him see his solicitor

I would email him and tell him the children are no longer available during the week due to missing school and you are no longer available to drop them off during the week. Set out the weekends they are available and leave to it. He may get a solicitor to contact you, but the solicitor can't make you do anything. If it goes to court you lay out to the court the missed days of school and how you don't feel its in the children's best interest to spend weeknights with him. I think it's likely the court will agree with you due to their missed attendance.

The courts can not make him have them on weekends, just make you make them available to him on weekends. He can show or not. Unfortunately there is no mechanism on earth that can make a half assed parent have their children.