Our 4-year-old has ASD and struggles with transitioning from one task to another. Although he's "high functioning" for lack of a better term, we're still trying to toilet train him because he won't stop mid task and use the toilet. We've tried star charts, social stories, putting him in pants, but we still can't get through to him. He often makes himself constipated and has been prescribed movicol.
Although we apply cream he often has a sore bum. When we're trying to clean him up after an accident, he'll sometimes scream, kick, and lock his legs in place. He also doesn't like getting in the bath with a dirty bum (but will stay in a dirty nappy or pants if we let him). His dad was trying to clean him up while I was seeing to the baby. DS refused to move his legs and was screaming. Next thing, DH shouted and smacked him on the leg. It wasn't very hard but hard enough to sting. Of course we argued and DH said it's kinder than leaving him in his own excrement (he wouldn't have had a bath either). I told him he should have held his legs but DH thinks that's even worse. I also found out it's not the first time he's "tapped him on the leg" in this situation but says the bruise is from something else. How can I know that? Also, DH's dad smacked him and his brother regularly but DH said it was justified and only when he was "really naughty".
I'm really upset. DH is acting like nothing happened while I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Am I overreacting to what was admittedly a light smack? They usually have a great relationship and DS adores his dad.