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AIBU?

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Ghosted by boyfriend

8 replies

Honeybu · 03/07/2023 00:07

It’s a long story.

I was in a relationship with this guy for 18months. He is separated from ex wife 8 years ago. He moved in my house 6 months later. A year into our relationship we talked about our future and I said it will make it easier and we can progress our relationship buying house together getting married if he start divorce proceedings. He agrees but never really does nothing about it so three months later I made it clear that I can’t be with a married man and even if he is not intending to get married to me yet I would prefer he get divorced as even to just buy a house together so fast forward 18months into the relationship he still hasn’t done nothing claiming he is very busy at work. So I said I can’t be with you anymore just go get divorce and come back then maybe we can carry with the relationship. Since he left the house 2 months ago. He sent a screenshot of all paperwork ready to start divorce process, we were in contact and him coming to see me every other day and suddenly not answering my call or text just disappeared. I was worried something happened to him but he just ghosted me. Can someone make me understand

OP posts:
QWE96 · 03/07/2023 00:10

Sorry that you're going through this, how confusing! How do you know he just ghosted you? Was this confirmed somehow?

HotelWoes · 03/07/2023 00:11

He’s met someone else would be my bet

HRTQueen · 03/07/2023 00:13

This is such a horrible way to treat you

I’m sorry I can’t make you understand. It’s unkind and selfish and he has chosen to be this way it’s not anything you have done

CruCru · 03/07/2023 00:16

He could have met someone else … or getting divorced is a hassle and he knows you won’t put up with him stringing you along.

If you told him that you can’t be with him anymore then he would probably say that you’ve dumped him (which was fair enough).

ItsConfusingHere · 03/07/2023 00:16

Are you 100% positive he was actually separated from his wife?

Honeybu · 03/07/2023 00:17

I feel like so shit that I don’t deserve any explanation. I could accept him telling me “ I don’t want to get divorce and I don’t want to ever get married” but nothing. With the divorce he swear he wanted to do it. I have called him text him nothing I just can’t believe. I know he’s not in hospital as I heard and seen him on social media

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IceCreamQueen86 · 03/07/2023 00:18

So I said I can’t be with you anymore just go get divorce and come back then maybe we can carry with the relationship.

  1. This sounds like you broke up with him so he’s technically not your boyfriend anymore
  2. It’s been 8 years, if he really wanted to get a divorce he would have done by now - he hasn’t so he doesn’t
  3. Getting paperwork was a ploy to try & get you back, he never actually had any intention of going through with it & has run out of excuses as to why he’s not filed etc
  4. It’s also possible he’s had his head turned & will come crawling back if that doesn’t work out
Honeybu · 03/07/2023 00:20

@IceCreamQueen86 your 3 point is exactly what my sister said no more excuses so he decided to stay away

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