Am I just destined to be fat?

[AriettyClock22]

Having my usual Sunday night hatred for myself after another weekend of binge eating and drinking. It's the same weekly cycle. I start off well with my eating, by Wednesday I'm snacking, by Friday I fancy a glass bottle of wine and figure I deserve it, Saturday it's a fried breakfast and a takeaway to recover and by Sunday I hate myself for falling into the same old traps and failing again.

I have about 2 stone to lose and it's so so hard. I never feel full. I eat to excess and snack constantly. I know all about protein and macros but even when I eat "the right things" I still never feel fully satisfied until I've eaten to excess and feel fit to burst.

I'm carrying loads of belly fat which I'm desperate to get rid of. I walk a lot but don't do any other exercise so I've been on YouTube trying to find some beginners workouts for reducing belly fat.

Any other tips would be hugely appreciated at this stage. I really do irritate myself with my lack of willpower and inability to change the things I dislike about myself.

Give up coffee, it raises cortisol which adds to belly fat.

Focus less on how much you eat than what you eat. Limit yourself the whole, unprocessed foods (mainly plants) If you’re hungry, eat - but eat the right things. Reach for some nuts rather than chocolate.

I'm trying the hoop I'm not sure if it works but keeping that ball spinning sure keeps me away from the snack cupboard

What else is going on in your life?? Is the eating possibly an attempt to self regulate ?

Workouts aren’t going to help with belly fat. It’s 80% diet. Is there an emotional element to the binge eating? Do you have access to therapy for support with this? Are you getting enough sleep?

Pack in the drinking, then you won't need the food on Sunday. Plan activity. I found intermittent fasting worked for me because I like a lot of food at once. When you feel like a snack stand naked in front of the mirror.

I am similar so offer sympathy. However am slowly changing my diet. Currently on high protein breakfast. it's been a game changer. Used to eat porridge made with milk and water with blueberries and honey or granola. Never full. Now eat porridge made with almond milk with flax, chia seeds, walnuts, an egg (weird but nice just don't add when really hot), blueberries and a tiny bit of honey. Full until 1pm. Never ever happens and today I walked 5K and played an hour of football and still not hungry. Few weeks going to change lunch up

Sounds like you need to get a bit more in tune with your body’s messages. Full and overfull feel very different, learning to identify them will help.

No great wisdom here though, I’m also a couple of stone over my ideal weight, but mine is emotional eating - I know I’m not hungry but I snack all the time to regulate emotions. Work in progress here!

I start off well with my eating, by Wednesday I'm snacking

Hi @AriettyClock22 - have you tried intermittent fasting? On the 5:2 diet you only diet for 2 days a week, which you can already do. For me the worst thing about diets was the thought of having to eat like that forever, whereas on the 5:2 you can sustain yourself on the fast days (500 calories a day for women) by promising yourself a whole packet of thickly-buttered crumpets the next day - the great thing is you don’t actually want the crumpets the next day, or at least not a whole packet of them.

There’s a page on Facebook called Team RH. He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, he is very blunt, but he does speak the facts. He did a post today about exactly what you have just described - doing really well in the week then it goes to shit at the weekend. Might be worth checking out! I’ve just lost 2 stone following him. It’s just about being accountable and owning up to how much food you are eating. No exercise is going to help you here, it’s calories that need to change. Xx

I lost the weight. Then started binging. It’s all head stuff. I know what not to eat. Emotional eating is the trigger. I’m in the middle of a marriage crisis. I’m not even enjoying the damn chocolate. Sympathy, but no answers!

Look up volume eating. I've come across it a few times but don't know that much about it, it might suit you though if you crave the full feeling.

I always fall back into binge eating / snacking and have been overweight since starting work after school, but about 10 years ago after never properly dieting before, I decided to start a diet, I read about the cambridge diet which is calorie restricting (800 calories per day), I didn't follow that diet plan but I did decide to restrict to 800 calories just eating my normal foods but small amounts. It was really hard for the first couple of weeks as your body is screaming at you that you're hungry, but if you can stick it a couple of weeks, I found that I could just eat two small meals a day (lunch and tea, never ate breakfast anyway) and honestly not even feel hungry the rest of the time, the weight fell off and I lost 7 stone.

Over the years since, meeting my DH and having a daughter, unhealthy habits started to creep in and I slowly put 3.5 stone back on, I've tried several diets since, but I've been doing what you do and giving in then binging then feeling shit, then 'starting again' it's such a horrible cycle to try and break, and two weeks ago, after not fitting into my summer clothes from last summer I decided to start the diet from before, I lost 11lbs the first week and this week I don't even feel hungry.. the only thing I did first this time was go cold turkey on chocolate (my nemesis) for a few weeks before starting this and if I get a sweet tooth I have a hot chocolate after one or both of the meals which sorts it out. It's honestly refreshing not to think about food 10 times a day, and not crave snacky foods all the time!

The only thing I HAVE to do now, and it's the key to it as far as I'm concerned, is I have to stop eating my meal before I'm 'full'.. from doing it 10 years ago I recognise the feeling that I've had enough now, and no matter what's left, I leave it (chuck in bin or feed to dog!), and then give it half an hour for my brain to catch up! I don't see it as a diet I see it as a permanent change in eating habits.

Whatever you do try, just say I'm going to do this for a week! It's easier to stick to it if you have an end date! Then at the end of that week see how you feel, if you've had a good result and you feel positive, try it for 'just another week' and so on, try not to put so much pressure on yourself.

Thank you all for the tips and suggestions. I have read a lot of good things about intermittent fasting. I try to eat in a calorie deficit of 1600 a day which is loads compared to the 500 and 800 mentioned. Even this I struggle with. Meals can be just about 1600 but then teas, coffees, crisps, biscuits, the odd gin or 3 all push me way over. And I know this but I do it anyway!

I have young dc and don't get much sleep which I know contributes to feeling hungry. I also don't get out very much and I think I use food and alcohol as a way to treat and comfort myself. If my social schedule was busier I'd probably not think about it as much.

It sounds like you go all or nothing so you end up depriving yourself then bingeing. Can you build in a small indulgence each day into your allowance? Like a small glass of wine or a small chocolate bar?

Ozempic has been a game changer for me alongside calorie counting and upping my vegetable intake.

In answer to your question, no you are not 'destined' to be fat.

I had a lot of luck with Keto because trying to keep track of everything I ate to calorie count, including teas a coffees was really hard for me. Just cutting out one food group really seemed to help keep me on track.

Have you tried switching up your macros? The inability to stop snacking may be your blood sugar moving constantly up and down.
And the answer to this can be to eat fewer carbs and increase the amount of fat you're eating (it gets digested quite slowly).
Have a look at low carb diets and try one out. Because fat doesn't make you fat, excess food does. If anything is to be mostly avoided then sugar.
Everybody is different but there is a way of eating that will suit you.

Most importantly: it has to be something that you can keep up in the long run ie a lifestyle change not a temporary thing.
That often means less radical but sustainable change. You probably put on those two stone gradually and that's the way to get rid of them too.

I lost nearly five stone in 2006 and I haven't put them back on (through two pregnancies and a boat load of other life changes). I did it with lots of exercise and calorie restriction at the time but also with the goal that I wouldn't be calorie counting for the rest of my life.
And I didn't. I can eat cake and chocolate and fry-ups without feeling guilty. I've also trained myself to crave mostly healthy foods because they make me feel better.
Having a secondary goal of feeling stronger/healthier rather than just lighter is also helpful for your motivation.

I am fat but I can tell you my stomach went right down when I stopped alcohol and I'm seeing my hourglass shape slowly but surely.
When I was slim I was drinking instead of eating and slowly the weight crept up from alcohol like 5-7lb every year. Then, I was eating AND drinking and weight shot up like a stone every 9 months.

I'm calorie counting and it gets easier. I had good results regarding slimming stomach on keto and on calorie counting but choosing calorie counting this time round because realistically, I need something I can stick to long term and educate me about portions. I'm also paying more attention to my mental health.
Your destiny is what you make of it. It is within your control and you can change but it's obviously hard work and needs a lot of patience as I know too well.

Exercise has many benefits but like others said it's really mostly our diet. I always went 'balls deep' into a new plan but I'd crash and burn (and binge) so this time round I'm doing everything gradually because I'm sick of yoyoing. Good luck!!