To be concerned about DH taking DD out in the car.

[TryAgainAnotherDay]

DD is nearly 4 and her current car seat has broke so had to go get her a new one. I wanted a cosatto as done a lot of research on the one I wanted (group 1,2 and 3) as she is not quite big enough for seat belt but won't be long.

Anyway, DH convinced me on another car seat. Got home to find which had safety concerns on the car seat as the seat belt dug into the child's neck if in a collision at a certain speed. But DH convinced me all would be fine we could just get a belt cover. I felt uneasy with thus and this feeling did not go away this morning.

Went to fit the new car seat in the car and read instructions to find the seat can not go forward facing using the harness and can only be forward with the seatbelt. DD hates being rear facing, gets upset and travel sick. Now I understand rear facing is best up until 4 year old, however with how she is rear facing she causes me more of a distraction and therefore putting me more at risk.

The type of seat is rear facing using the seat belt to secure and then child sat in seat with harness and then front facing using isofix and belt around child.

DH stated it would be fine and to just use the isofix. I argued with him this is not safe and obviously the isofix is not sturdy enough, hence to be used woth seatbelt. He then went on about just putting the seatbelt around the back to make it secure. Again I argued this is not safe. His counter argument is that the chances of being in an accident are low and its also a big car so DD would be fine. I was fuming!!!!

Now DH has social anxiety so I'm not sure if he actually believed what he was saying or if he knew that by saying what he did I would just go ahead anyway and take it back to the shop (which is what I did and got another one)

However, am I being unreasonable to be cautious now about him taking DD out in the car of he has such low regards for her safety.

Please follow the manual for your car seat. If you want to forward face, use the seat belt, not the car seat straps if she is over 15kg.

I think you need to check the instructions properly.
Isofix plus seat belt sounds fine to me, that's what lots of the 15kg+ seats are like.

The manual used height and she isnt tall enough to use the 3 point searbelt yet and still needs a 5 point harness.

To use the 5 point harness the manual states she must be rear facing, but DD does not tolerate being rear facing.

DH just said it would be fine to go forward facing and place the seatbelt around the seat, so over the 5 point harness

YABU

You solved the problem when you took it back.

You should gave bought the one you wanted originally
Probabilities of an accident are small
Husband have social anxiety is realvent how?

I think it's a non issue - incredibly annoying but something you need to move on from (I say this as a grudge bearer who learns to continuously forgive DH and his million annoyances)

As long as he uses the car seat properly and drives normally I'd be fine with it.

If she can't use the seat according to the manual, then she can't use the seat. That would be an absolute red line for me.

YANBU to have taken the seat back.
YABU to think that now that you have a safe car seat, your DD will somehow be in danger simply because your husband is driving.

Well now she has the correct seat obviously he's fine to drive her unless there is a drip feed that he is an unsafe driver in general. If the dc exceeds the weight though you shouldn't be using the harness even if she's within the height range. You'd need to find a seat that allows for both (I had the issue with dd as she was short but very sturdy at that age).

I agree it must have been really annoying but don’t hold a grudge. He made a case for some random seat, you let yourself be convinced, neither of you looked at it properly and you both failed to realise it wasn’t suitable for DD before you bought it. He made a hash of the fitting, maybe just a frustrated surely there’s got to be some way this fits forwards because rear facing to high backed booster is quite unusual, but you thankfully returned it so it’s done.

Presumably this time someone read the manual and the new seat is correctly fitted and is suitable for her height/weight? Then it’s a total non issue, DD is safe in the car, so move on.

I may be missing the point here but isofix is safe as it latches on to the frame of the car, the seatbelt is there to keep the child in the seat not as a secondary safety feature in case the isofix fails?

What is the seat?

Isofix serves no purpose in high backed booster seats except that it anchors the seat to the car to stop it flying around loose when the child isn't in it. The seatbelt is what secures the child, the seat correctly positions the belt (and depending on the design may also provide additional side impact protection).

I think OP was saying that her DH, in his attempts to make the seat work, was trying a number of things contrary to the instructions including to use the belt and the harness together and also using it correctly as a HBB but that their DD was too short so didn’t get a good belt fit.

That was my exact point.

We have now got the joie bold so harness can go up to 25kg.

Erm he has had 2 crashes in the past that both involved air ambulances and hospital, but generally a safe driver.

Nuna tres LX

My concern is not that he picked that seat, its the fact he was happy to go against the manual to do a bodge fit of it in the car with little regard to her safety.