Are some people just rubbish at sports, no matter how hard they try?

[OnTheRoll]

I have never been good at team sports, even in school PE like netball. Now an adult, trying to master tennis and it's just not happening. It's been a few years, I am a member of a local tennis club, have group coaching, try to play 1-2 times a week, used to have individual lessons. I am improving but, after all this time, money and sweat, still very much a beginner which is so frustrating.

I just don't seem to make my body play it the right way. The psychological block of remembering that I was never good at sports surely isn't helping either.

Interestingly, at the same time, I am very fit, I run, I do resistance training, I train with weights - so no reason really not to see good results in actual sports.

I am wondering if some people are just not cut for it. I am not giving up but I am really losing hope and just tired of feeling rubbish on the court most of the time.

I would describe myself as non sporty. I'm very slow, last in all races, can't throw or jump or catch.
But I'm a good club player at tennis. I can pick up a racquet after not playing for months or even years and hit a pretty decent ball. I play for the first team at my club.
I've found though that it is a sport that being sporty doesn't seem to make much difference. We had a well known professional rugby player joined the club once and he wasn't much good. Lovely chap, great fun but not a tennis player.

It's partially about reactions, and partially about technique, but the best thing to do is play lots, some practice and some games,, and enjoy it.
We all miss easy shots, my old coach used to say it's because the gift wrapping gets in the way, and actually some shots that feel easy aren't in practice.
The other thing is what level is the coaching. If it's 1-2-1 concentrating on a stroke then that's pretty good. If it's group with mostly playing fun games, you'd be better organising a game and perhaps looking at an individual lesson once a month.
When you practice a shot in coaching, try it on a game. You will miss it at first, but don't be out off. Tennis is a very psychological game and as soon as you think you can't do it, you won't manage. I've beaten people who are better than me because they've decided they can't win.

I think it is a game where people do reach a level. I know people who play loads more than me, who I can beat every time, and people who play less than me that would probably still win if I tied their shoelaces together.I

Just go and enjoy playing. It's a great game.

That's very helpful advice on improving in tennis. Thank you

Absolutely, I’m sporty and am pretty good (not very good, to be clear) at most of the sports I’ve done, but I’m terrible at music, singing, dancing, art, etc. They're just not my bag. We’re all different.

Yes, some of us are. DS1 and I both have hand to eye co-ordination which is in the bottom 1% of the population. Can't catch a tennis-sized ball to save our lives. Or play tennis or table tennis. or learn to juggle. I once went on a juggling course for three days and didn't once manage to get two bean bags up in the air, let alone juggling balls.

It took me until my mid twenties to realise I could be fit and strong. School sport was always team-based and ball-based. I hope it isn't still. DS1 took up cross country because it was the only thing he could do. DS2 did swimming.

I think anyone, with enough practice, can become reasonably good at any sport. Getting to the top is a combination of genetic pre-disposition and practice, but most people I think can get to a reasonable club-level standard.

The problem is, most people don't have enough time to commit to training, and some sports are undeniably harder to play than others and so require much more than a couple of lessons a week.

Tennis is a difficult sport to play well, it requires a good level of physical fitness, a good awareness of tactics and the skills required to actually hit the ball with power and control are difficult to really master. Contrast that to something like running, which really is (mostly) about pure physical fitness at the recreational level, and you understand why it's easier to get into certain sports than others.

I did some training with Ido Portal a few years ago and was fascinated by the 'building blocks' of getting good at different types of movement.

For example, training prioperception (knowing where your body is in space) separately from a sport (through acro, for example, or dance, or boxing) can boost your ability in that sport enormously when you return to it.

Training your reaction to unpredictable movements separately, again, can have a massive impact.

So many people might go into tennis, for example, or netball, trying to 'get good at' what is actually a whole stack of underlying skills, without separating and working on those different skills.

It's like trying to get good at playing a hurdy-gurdy machine without learning how to tap your toe and nod your head at the same time first.

If you break down your tennis, OP, what specifically do you mean by 'I just don't seem to make my body play it the right way'? What happens (or doesn't happen)? It might give you the key to what to train separately...

A couple of games we played at the camp were and these ones. Might be fun to explore?

OP I think you have a lot of anxiety about sports, being good at sports involves mindset stuff - feeling confident as well as physical skills.

I never noticed that - it was completely the opposite in my school, if you liked music you were square and teacher's pet.

Such good advice.

I think you need a mindset coach. If you look at the elite players of any sport golf and tennis are good ones (particularly golf to see this because it is quite slow) it isn’t that they never make a bad shot- it is their ability to throw that moment off and carry on with that laser focus. There are some people who I play with that will have a good round until that one moment and then they start to beat themselves up about it.

so you miss an easy shot? That’s done- you need to concentrate on the next one- it sounds like half you mind is on the mistake you just made, a quarter of your mind is on the fact you can’t do this and only quarter of your mind is on the next shot.

I don’t believe for a moment that you can’t do it. You’re athletic, you practice and you’re driven. I think you can do it, you just need to believe that

Op, not really answering your question in the op but in order to make real steps in tennis, I watch lots and lots of tennis tutorials on YouTube. Over and over. My game has improved from this outside of my private and group coaching sessions.

I definitely think it makes sense that if some people have a talent for these things, then there must be poor sods at the other end of the scale. I've been gym/circuit/weight training for years and years and I am still slow, unfit and weak 😅

Some people must be naturally bad at these things. When I was in infant school I remember other children doing the monkey bars with ease. I couldn't do them at all. Couldn't even hold on and dangle down. Now it's not like four years olds work out at the gym, and I wasn't overweight so nothing to do with that...so why could some kids do it and some not?

You just haven't found a sport you are good at yet. My eldest and youngest both love team sports and still play in teams as adults but middle son was never keen or good at team sports but he's good at swimming and karate. Try some different sports until you find something you are better at.

I have never come across not being musically able as a reason for bullying.

My 1st thought was "that's probably because you aren't terrible at music"
One example for me

Class singing in Primary school age 8-11. Classmates poking each other & sniggering at me. I tried to just mouth the words & teacher told me off for not actually singing. Teacher did not tell off those openly sniggering at me. Repeat Repeat.

Similar experiences as an adult, trying to play an instrument "Did you say you had a year of lessons?!! Why do you have such an appalling sense of rhythm!?" Openly grimacing, Sidling away from me in apparent horror, comparing my efforts to dance to military marching etc. I was politely shushed age 6, so relatives could listen to my 3yr old cousin's lovely singing voice. At least I'm told it was lovely. I'm so unmusical that I can't tell. For years I loathed listening to Amy Winehouse, the horrible caterwauling. Apparently she's quite good, though?

You just haven't found a sport you are good at yet.

Aw, that's so sweet, the optimism, I mean. Bit like the people who think everyone can achieve a competent standard at things musical. Years/decades of effort mean that I have achieved the dizzy heights of sometimes not singing offkey & sometimes being mediocre at sport. I'm genuinely very proud of both achievements.

I wasn't good at a lot of sports (still not!), anything that involved running about was no good for me as I've always had very bendy ankles that twist very easily. I was into things like horse riding, hiking, swimming etc. I also never had much of a competetive streak either, was much happier doing my own thing just for the enjoyment of it.

If you look at the elite players of any sport golf and tennis are good ones it isn’t that they never make a bad shot- it is their ability to throw that moment off and carry on with that laser focus

Just following on from @Dryinginthesea's excellent post, has anyone watched the TV series Break Point, which follows the men's and women's professional tennis tours? Several players featured make the point that every single week, at every single tournament, every player loses except one. That is part of the mindset you need, to go again each week knowing that fact.

Lots of people don't have the coordination or the 'eye' for team sports or racket sports. It doesn't matter how physically fit you are. Plenty of track and field athletes would be utterly shit at tennis or netball or whatever. And plenty of tennis players would make pretty mediocre distance runners. A lot of being good at tennis is about having the instinct to hit at exactly the right angle, for instance.

The fact you are fit and athletic, and can work out with weights etc and run, is the most important thing here. If it's the interaction with others that you're looking for from something like tennis, then how about joining a running club, or a group fitness class or something like that?

FWIW, I am extremely bad at sports that require eye-hand coordination or precision positioning. I was good at football when I was a child, mainly because I was a robust tackler, but girls weren't allowed to play back when I was that age and I failed miserably at hockey, netball, tennis, gymnastics, badminton, volleyball, rounders, dance and every other sport I had the opportunity to try. But now I'm in my 40s I've discovered that I am a decent enough runner and very good with weights ... nobody is more surprised than me!

I have never come across not being musically able as a reason for bullying. Only situation I can imagine is if you were part of a choir or orchestra and others bulky you for not meeting the standard!

Blimey, you obviously didn't go to my school. Kids like me who were shit at singing or couldn't keep time when clapping to a tune got laughed at and mocked all the time in Music.

Completely the opposite in mine!

If you were sporty (read good at netball, hockey, tennis etc), you were popular. If you weren't, you weren't.

If on top of that you were musical, you were disliked even more.

It was ok if you were bad at sport but good at art.

I think some people (myself included) just can’t hit a ball! But there are non-ball team sports, like rowing. Or things like climbing and kayaking that people do in groups, or running as part of a club, if you want the social side of sport. Would that be any good for you?

As someone else who has also tried to learn tennis as an adult, it's a really difficult sport. There is sooo much practice required just to master the technique for basic shots. The pros make it look easy! I wish I'd started young.

PE in schools (at least in the 90s) does absolutely nothing to foster a love of sports

I've never been good at racquet sports or most sports requiring hand-eye coordination. I'm not even good at computer games!
I've never liked team sports as I'm not very sociable and just like to get on with things on my own.

I've found that I can be good at general fitness classes, running (alone), dance-type things, swimming, bouldering, yoga and pilates. Stuff I can do on my own, at my own pace, without much interaction with others, and not needing to judge distances or needing a fast reaction. Enough to keep me healthy and active, although most of them can't be done competitively and for swimming and running I don't care for doing it competitively anyway.