I wish I'd had my friend's experience

[CrazyDaisy1111]

My friend had her first baby earlier this year and she's had the most amazing, straightforward time. All through pregnancy too. She said to me today that it's been the best few months ever and that she's tried to enjoy every moment because everyone has told her how quick it goes. She never moans and always appears so happy which is if course, so lovely but I can't relate. I feel sad and kind of guilty that I didn't find those first few months the best time ever. Admittedly my pregnancies and births of my two dcs were tough and I had mental health problems to cope with too. I feel a bit robbed that I couldn't have had the pure joy my friend is experiencing. Even 4 years into my parenting journey, I find it hard. My children are my world but life is exhausting, challenging, messy and worrying at times. My friend makes parenting look so simple and easy. Am I missing something?! Why can't my journey have been like that!

Comparison is the thief of joy. Her children will probably be disgusting teens and you’ll fly through the teen years. Everyone’s journey is different - concentrate on yours.

Some people don’t share the harder bits.

Parenting is hard. Make no mistake, it will be hard for anyone, unless they are the problem. She's enjoying it for now, maybe she's more chilled or more confident, maybe she had more help. Some women have easy birth, others have horrendous experience, it's not fair, but you cannot dwell on it. Others have a much worst time than you.

Use her as an inspiration in a way, don't resent her. Everyone is just trying to do the best they can.

Different people thrive at different times, yours may be yet to come

Don't worry the teenage years will get her 😃

But in all seriousness you said yourself you had mental health problems that's the issue here not you, not her not anything else. The mind is a funny thing and has so much power it's not your fault. Don't worry about what's been and look forward. Life May be hard now and like you said messy but one day when your children have grown up and left you may not miss the mess but you'll remember it as the mess of a happy home

Oh dear OP, this thread will now fill up with people telling you your friend is probably secretly having a miserable time etc etc...we've already had 'disgusting teens' 🙄

But the truth is for some women pregnancy, childbirth and child raising is incredibly easy and enjoyable and for others it's not. That's life and just the way many things in life are.

But don't give it a second thought because you'll find there will be bad times and wonderful times and absolutely everything in between.