Son’s dad

[Thunderbirdss]

My son has a best friend at school - I see the parents at school drop off and afterschool activities, and regularly see them both at the weekend when we meet with the kids. I’m single so always on my own when I meet them. I don’t socialise with them as such and conversation between us is mainly around the kids / school /football etc.
The dad has said a few things that have made me feel uncomfortable (always in front of his partner never to just me alone). Things that don’t sound terrible but just make me feel a bit 🤢 ie, I’ll say I’ve seen their car at our local and asked if they went for a few drinks - response from the dad is ‘oh no we were in the back going at it’ (joking
obviously).
Numerous references to dogging as he flashed his headlights at me once when we drove past each other. This led to lots of comments from the dad the next time I saw him that I would get the wrong impression etc, would think they wanted to go dogging with me (it hasn’t even crossed my mind). Previously he’s commented on the fact I have a tattoo on my back that is only partially visible, I’d need to have nothing on my top half for it to be seen in full.

He just feels particularly over friendly with me sometimes but has done absolutely nothing I can put my finger on really to justify how I feel, I just have a gut feeling somethings off. I’m asking if this is likely to be just me being paranoid as it could well be, I’m very friendly with everyone and also can be very naive when it comes to these things. I’m starting to feel like I want to distance myself from them really as it’s making me feel uncomfortable but I don’t know if I’m just totally overthinking things/ making a mountain out of a molehill. His wife never seems to be bothered by it so maybe I’m just being sensitive.

He probably thinks he’s coming across all funny & cheeky chapie, rather than weird. maybe he’s too used to ‘banter’ with the lads and doesn’t know how to talk to actual women in day to day situations, he could be just awkward & that maybe makes him say stupid things…my husband can be a bit like this. It frequently makes me cringe. I imagine, if his wife didn’t laugh along, she was probably cringing too.

Next time he says something creepy and weird you could pretend you don't know what he's getting at and ask him to explain exactly what he means. It'll be awkward but probably put a stop to it in the future.

He sounds like a twat who enjoys making women feel uncomfortable.

I know someone like this. He’s like it with just men too, according to DH. I’d just put it down to him being a bit of a dick tbh.

YANBU this is creepy. If you are being made to feel this is somehow acceptable behaviour and you're not to make a fuss, I would ask him to repeat it with a completely calm demeanour, maybe more than once, long silence, then walk off.

Bonus points if you say "oh, I have to take this call" and make it very obvious your phone isn't ringing at all.

I like this - 'oh I didn't know you had a dog, how often do you take it dogging?' - ought to do it.

I imagine he thinks he is being funny and jokey but he is being inappropriate. Try using what my teenagers say 'Well you have just made that awkward .....'